cr chart;

[brushoff]

the shade I told you I was trouble an immortal partner in crime, the Clyde to Dorian's Bonnie. Literally, as the two jokingly called each other that and robbed banks together for shits and giggles. They originally met when Shade just oh so casually revealed that yeah, he knew Oscar Wilde as well, and what started as a friendship based on a mutual acquaintance has blossomed to a great friendship that involves them teleporting to London for shits and giggles (and also Dorian enduring Shade’s griping about wanting to visit London in the first place). Shade also is someone who Dorian can willingly bug about superpowers and things like that. Dorian comes from a supernatural canon, he’s got no idea how things like this work. It's wonderful to have a like mind, and Dorian views Shade as one of them: a like mind with a similar personality. Shade is pretty much #1 in Dorian's book and he enjoys his company so so much. They’re massive snobs together both in wine and books. like, if Dorian were asked the 'if you could have one person on a desert island who would it be?' he'd probably pick Shade and not just because the immortal could teleport them off the island. ♫ ♫ foreshadower samara children use their youth too soon watching war made us immune Dorian, don’t fuck the alien. it's a testament how Samara's gone from 'hot blue alien who he wants to sleep with' to 'someone whose company he enjoys...who he also wants to sleep with.' A fellow immortal who knows the pros and prices of immortality, Samara blurs the line between potential friend and potential fuck. As of late, they've settled into a relationship that's more of kindred spirits than anything else. Samara might be one of the few people here who can actually understand immortality, and Dorian finds that refreshing. plus, she's like a thousand years old, that means she's got over a thousand years to figure out, and yet Dorian's still totally blindsided every time her ~mysterious past~ comes up (Samara used to drink a lot???? what the hell???) Dorian’s a sucker for things that he finds interesting and Samara is that in spades. justimom yuri petrov take my tears and that's not nearly all Immortal meets serial killer. Immortal falls in love with serial killer. Serial killer kills immortal because he's a sinner. Immortal, unaware of this, is still in love with serial killer and the two end up fucking in the serial killer's office. Serial killer gets found out, immortal gets pissy, immortal kills serial killer. This is a cliff notes summary of SO MUCH DRAMA and SO MUCH MURDER that is the train wreck relationship of Dorian Gray and Yuri Petrov. Their relationship could have ended with Yuri as just another page in Dorian's book, a particularly nasty fling that took an absolutely terrible turn, it's nice but it's over. and then this motherfucker had to show back up again. And even worse, show back up again once Dorian's reaching something akin to a happy ever after with Toby. Now, Dorian's worried that Yuri might target Toby (who let's be honest, has sinner painted on his back in bright red letters) while he's also trying to sort out his conflicting feelings with regard to the other man. The terrible thing is, the more Yuri pushes him away and the less time of day the other man gives, the more Dorian just wants him. Or, at least, wants to sort out just what the hell he has so he could stop feeling murder butterflies in his stomach. stupid sexy Lunatic. ♫ ♫ insinerate asher millstone go shorty, it's your birthday It is too damn easy for Dorian to tease Asher. A lot of their interactions basically end up with Dorian giving Asher a bit of grief in some form or another. The sad thing about all of this is that Dorian...actually cares about Asher. Their interactions end up with teasing, but Dorian's always willing to small little things to help Asher feel better if need be (or, at least, compliment him on his butt). The two have too many similarities that Dorian's 100% comfortable with: upper class white dudes who really like to party but aren't just one dimensional. Dorian was honestly a bit shocked when Asher rambled to him about how people thought he was just a big dumb party guy because...that's totally what Dorian thought. Whoops. Turns out that Asher's not as shallow as a puddle, SORRY BUDDY. If it helps, that makes him 10x more interesting in Dorian's mind because what is your deal. moneyballer frederick chilton doesn’t matter if I shout or if I scream Dorian's shrink, who Dorian is mostly seeing because he thought the idea of seeing a shrink would be fun (and also because he wanted to try and traumatize Chilton with some of the really gory details). It is not fun. Dorian was wrong. His original battle strategy of “tell Chilton everything in the hopes of traumatizing him” has quickly shifted to “LIE AND DEFLECT” stop pointing out how fucked up I am, please. Chilton’s got a way of getting under Dorian’s skin which the immortal finds intensely irritating. Dorian’s found a way of getting under Chilton’s skin as well and is pretty damn sure that Chilton’s slept with one of his patients either back home or in Heropa (probably in Heropa, Baltimore is fucked up). Dorian’s started a little campaign of his own to find out just who that patient is because he is a big fan of leverage over Chilton. however, unknown to Dorian, Chilton's started a campaign of pretty much psychological manipulation (as well as actual physical chemical manipulation thanks to that sedative power that Dorian’s blissfully unaware of) that's left Dorian with an inkling towards finding someone who he can use as his new project…and also thinking that Chilton's got this really creepy thing with touching. their sessions are usually a tete a tete between Chilton trying to find out as much as he can and Dorian just trying to be the most stubborn person ever in response. Since Dorian isn't Chilton's patient any more, they've tailored the relationship to a carefully crafted 'neutral' that is liable to just BREAK APART the moment Dorian reveals that oh hey, by the way, I'm working to corrupt Will Graham. slightlyoffchilt jacob taylor she wants to see you again slowly twisting in the wind go away go away go awaaaaaaaay. Jacob and Dorian had the worst first impression ever: Jacob beat up Dorian during Dorian's brief stint as a supervillain, when Dorian tried to arrest Jacob for breaking the law with regards to Archangel. Jacob thinks that Dorian's a hedonistic partyboy who doesn't care who or what gets hurt as long as he gets what he wants. Dorian thinks that Jacob has a stick up his ass and is trying to stop a fire by pouring oil on it with regards to Archangel fighting crime in Maurtia Falls. It also doesn't help that Dorian can't leave well enough alone and takes every chance he can get to needle Jacob and basically go 'neener, neener, neener.' They kind of really hate each other. darkpants_warmfeeling miles edgeworth every little trait however small makes my very flesh begin to crawl they hate each other pt. 2. Normally, Dorian & Miles would just snipe at each other on the network, content to just be grumpy asshats at each other, the lawyer hating the criminal and vice versa. however...Miles got possessed by a Hornet brain clone and took his anger out on Dorian by beating him near to death. and then a few months later, Dorian hallucinated that Miles was somebody from home (thanks Satan) and tried to kill him. thankfully, they've reached an agreement of "I won't goad you about the fact that you tried to kill me if you don't" but that is a piss-poor standard to base a relationship on and they still just straight up hate each other. after all, it's not Dorian's fault that Miles Edgeworth has a stick up his ass and wouldn't know a good time if it hit him in the face, right??? Right??? This hate has only intensified because somehow, Miles got it in Toby's mind that he should turn himself in because he nommed on four natives and turned them into vampires. Something that Dorian views as a necessary evil, something that Miles views as REALLY BAD. So yeah, they're not gonna be hanging out at the holiday party anytime soon. ♫ takethestairs will graham it seems crazy but you must believe there's nothing calculated, nothing planned you know how Chilton told Dorian to find a project? whoops. Will is that project. Dorian's spending his time trying to seem appealing, trying to wrap Will around his finger in the hopes that he can get the man to do whatever he wanted (violence and corruption wise. Dorian knows that he's straight out of luck when it comes to sex). hell, he already managed to get Will to take away a bloody couch. But at the same time, Dorian's finding himself in a bit of a pickle because well shit, he actually likes this new project. Will's a decent person and Dorian's going to enjoy corrupting the hell out of him but he's also going to enjoy the time leading up to him (hopefully) ruining Will's life. said attempts to coax Will to his side have ended up with Dorian lying off his ass and pretending that he knows about shadow powers and also showing him his portrait in a bizarre attempt to get Will to trust him more that's actually kind of working? seriously, they've entered this weird (at least in Dorian's mind) part where Dorian trusts Will with some things and still wants to find a way to just shatter that life he's got, but he also really enjoys Will and his family and stayed over at their house for a week or so and he did not sign up for the emotion train. Which really, means that he's just gotta ruin Will's life all the faster. Feelings are stupid. ♫ ♫ infomodder elsa brandt don't be a little bitch with your chitchat #trainwreck immortals. Dorian and Elsa bonded over their immortality pretty damn quickly and over so many drinks. They're equally terrible, equally trashy, and will just be absolutely horrible for each other, which means it's gonna happen soon. Elsa is all up for doing things like getting drunk and not talking and not caring, which Dorian is aokay with. She also is seemingly aokay with Dorian & Toby getting handsy in front of her? You do you, Elsa. ♫ ♫ enustari lucy pevensie so few have your best interests in mind Dorian unintentionally pissed Lucy off on two fronts. One front was when they danced at the swear-in and Dorian was a little too forward and possessive with his advances. Another front was when Toby and Lucy's friendship crumbled, Lucy came to visit him and Dorian proceeded to make the situation ten times worse by making fun of Lucy as well as being a massive ass. Dorian then continued to be an ass when he insinuated that the Musketeers wanted to sleep with Lucy during another swear-in and got stabbed for his efforts. Dorian thinks that Lucy's a stupid little girl who somehow has the Musketeers eating out of the palm of her hand. Lucy thinks that Dorian's selfish and uncaring. They absolutely hate each other. illuminescent marian hawke what part of party don't you understand? The problem with these two is that Dorian's gotten to be such good friends with Hawke that he's forgotten the reason he made friends with her in the first place, which is "I sure do not want this lady who can set people on fire to set me on fire again." All in all, Dorian considers Hawke to be a good friend! He can tease her a bit, they'll get drunk together, they'll bring each other cake, she can tease him on his taste in movies—they're not besties, but they're certainly friends. And she's a friend that he's going to keep most of his illegal wheelings and dealings to himself because hey, she's Archangel. As long as she never finds out about Dorian's terrible body count and lack of remorse when it comes to murdering some people, they are gonna be cool. He knows that she probably thinks he's a poncy idiot and hey, okay with that, better to think he's a goddamn moron than to think he's dangerous. Cause as soon as Hawke realizes "wait a moment, not only is he a massive coward with too much self-interest, he's a goddamn murderer" Dorian's ass is grass. whathawksdo klarion bleak i'll never wanna act my age there is no goddamn way this kid is sixteen. It is so easy for Dorian to default to bratty big brother when dealing with Klarion. He'll gladly enable the witch-boy's terrible decisions, he'll provide the getaway car when Klarion inevitably robs a bank, he'll get Klarion drunk for shits and giggles, he'll let the kid drag him halfway around the world to Rome, Dorian is starting to develop a soft spot for Klarion...which he'll show in his own little Dorian Gray way by occasionally being a terror. You tease the ones you love, right? Right. And if they're Klarion "blue and slightly homicidal Peter Pan" then the teasing is justified. After all, it builds character. ♫ beneathbluerafters laurie collins young girl, you're out of your mind ??????? It doesn't help that Laurie and Dorian have never had a normal conversation ever. Going from mindwhammied to making him jump off a building to mindwhammied to them kissing during that famine event to the whole Toby fiasco, Dorian and Laurie have just never sat down and talked. He does think she's a little bit desperate and lonely due to the Famine fiasco and normally, he'd be all over that like white on rice trying to worm his way into her heart + inevitably break it (spoilers, Dorian's an ass) buuuuut then Toby comes into the picture. And Dorian likes Toby. And doesn't want to piss off Toby any more than he has. So any/all interactions with Laurie are cordially polite while he inwardly tries to figure out what the hell is her deal. Maybe they'll bond over death, who really knows. fridgeflower kanaya maryam lyrics Dorian and Kanaya technically met as they sulked over a convention panel basically glorifying imPort criminality. Technically. Mostly because most of their interactions involve Dorian vs. Kanaya, hedonistic supervillain vs. criminal turned Archangel member, let’s get ready to rumbleeeeeee. He doesn't really know what to feel and think about her. On one hand, they had the potential to be great friends. but on the other hand, Dorian's ruined that potential by being an asshat and enjoying the fact that Archangel got what was coming to them. Add in the fact that Kanaya's helping Toby deal with his fledgling vampires and Dorian just doesn't know what to think of her. YEAH, NOPE, THIS HAS CHANGED SINCE THE JULY SWEAR-IN, Kanaya's a massive asshat who's a jerk and enjoys kicking him far too much. Not a very nice person, on Dorian Gray's ever-growing shitlist. The fact that she's been a huge bitch (at least in Dorian's eyes) with regards to Toby's accidental fledgelings has made her Public Enemy #1 on Dorian's shitlist. Can she get run over by a truck pretty please? glowsferatu andrew warner lyrics man, god bless Andrew Warner. From their first conversation, Dorian thought that he was cute but stupid. Idle flirting, gave Andrew the number for his drug dealer, occasionally chatted up the werewolf on the network. That impression has not gotten better, and now Dorian thinks that Drew's more stupid than cute, mostly because Drew got drunk, took some drugs, and murdered his boyfriend. He knows that he can't judge Drew too harshly (Dorian's got werewolf experience, after all) but Dorian Gray is a massive hypocrite with a bitchy streak a mile wide when it comes to Tobias Matthews. Drew's going to be on the shitlist for all eternity, despite the fact that he's cute, well-meaning, and dumb as a bag of bricks. ♫ willinglychanged kitty jones forgive my impertinent behavior but how long do you think this pantomime can last? On first glance, Kitty Jones is some rabblerouser who tries to seem important and wants to change the world!!! of which, Dorian will make fun of her forever. The more things change, the more they stay the same. He'll gladly pipe in to be everything Kitty's rallying against and just generally to be an asshat. He enjoys badgering her and bugging the hell out of her and it SHOWS. but aside from that? Kitty Jones is dangerous. not because she's someone who can take action and fuck up his life, not because she's someone who knows a ton about him, not because she's someone who has actual power here, but because she's someone who showed Dorian what he truly fears. Her power to nullify other powers turned him old, like a corpse, turned him into what he feared the most: age. It doesn't help that he ran into her when he had just killed some poor npc, courtesy of the Horseman of War. It also doesn't help that Dorian's true appearance scared the ever-loving shit out of poor Kitty. As it is, both of them treat the other with wariness and a healthy dose of anger. ♫ rathercommon billy kaplan i'm sorry for everything, for everything i've done The two met when Billy killed Dorian with a toilet. no, that's a lie, Dorian's always known about Billy if only by proxy. He's one of Kate's, one of the Young Avengers or whatever they're calling their fun little super-group. It's only when death by toilet happened that Dorian proceeded to give Billy the time of day and by time of day, I mean pouted and pitched a fit and essentially started a massive guilt trip. It's going to be a while before Dorian forgets death by toilet and, as such, he is going to enjoy making Billy's life miserable. This miserableness comes into play when they both were trapped in Lourdes Hidalgo's crazyass hostage experience and Dorian had too much fun making out with Billy as a distraction. Unfortunately, said distraction was seen by Toby...so he's going to make Billy's life miserable but also badger him into trying to help fix this broken mess. Billy Kaplan: unintentional homewrecker. inmyothertights jeff winger got a real good feeling somethin' bad about to happen ohhhhh it is a good thing Dorian hasn't connected the dots that Jeff was the Horseman of War during that event. Because really? Dorian adores Jeff. he's the sort of person who compliments someone bringing a hooker to a birthday party, he's someone who enjoys drinking, having a good time, and picking up twenty-somethings in Cancun. Jeff's someone who Dorian can discuss hypothetical-possibly-reality plans to take a trip down to Mexico during Spring Break and he's someone whose morals are equally fucked as Dorian's. Considering that Jeff's outside of Dorian's normal taste profile (i.e. he's over thirty), the two have potential to be great friends and more partners in crime than anything else. just, you know, as long as Dorian doesn't figure out about War. textualhealing lucifer she's the sweetest pet in the world Dorian Gray you are a dumbass child this is the fucking devil. Everything about him should scream stay away. And yet, Dorian Gray is a cocky immortal and it's not like Lucifer can take his soul when it's already removed and shoved in a portrait, can he? No he can't. As such, Dorian is perfectly fine coasting on the devil's coattails and doing a little party trick, singing a little song here and there, if it gets him what he wants. He's already pretty much damned, why not enjoy the ride on the way down, huh? This is certainly not going to bite him in the ass at all later, what makes you think that. angelfire richard campbell gansey iii you were meant to live large come on, take charge He's like a tiny mini Dorian but with actual morals! Gansey is easily Dorian's fave of Team Raven and that's not just because they can hold an actual conversation without Dorian pissing Gansey off or Gansey egging his car (STILL HAVEN'T FORGIVEN YOU FOR THAT, RONAN AND ADAM). He's preppy, he's got good taste, they quote Shakespeare at each other, he's more than willing to let Dorian ramble on about life or himself, while Dorian easily wins the pretentious contest, Gansey could put up a damn good fight. If only he would stop hanging around with those loser Raven Children...Gansey's got so much potential and Dorian just doesn't see why he hangs around with those other kids who, at least in Dorian's mind, range from kind of fuckups to massive fuckups. How important could they be to begin with??? quaerit tobias matthews heaven help my heart the day that I find suddenly I’ve run out of secrets suddenly I’m not always on his mind and then a METRIC FUCKTON OF TEXT, wow these two are mad complicated to put it simply, Tobias Matthews is Dorian Gray's heart's desire. He's Dorian's chance at true happiness, Dorian's love, Dorian's one and only. Dorian Gray is head over heels in love with Tobias Matthews. He thinks that Toby's the best, he can barely see any wrong with regards to Toby, he's got tunnel vision called Tobias Matthews. The two had a blissful existence in the 1980s, a few happy years where they just spent all their time together and in love. Dorian wanted Toby so much, lusted after Toby so much that it was pretty damn pathetic in retrospect. Dorian Gray, eternally young and eternally beautiful, lusting after the one man who ignored him. But eventually the two came to a relationship. And what a happy relationship it was. Toby's suicide by sunlight plunged Dorian into a decade long depression, a ten year long funk in which he struggled just to simply get out of it, to find something that could possibly replace Toby (though really, he knows that nothing could fully replace Toby). but at the same time, just as Toby has tunnel vision when it comes to Dorian, Dorian has tunnel vision when it comes to Toby. Dorian sees the best in Toby. He overlooks the fact that Toby's a vampire, that Toby is a killer by nature, and just sees the strengths and the beauty of the man he loves. Toby turned four natives into vampires? He obviously didn't mean to, if he didn't have to then of course he would't have done so. He never tells Toby to stop, doesn't try to talk him out of it when Toby ends up committing suicide by sunlight. If Toby wanted to do it, then Dorian would let him. it would break his heart into a million pieces, but he'd let him. He would do anything for Toby, even saving his life by breaking his heart pretty damn viciously. While there's so much love for Toby, there's also that streak of protectiveness. Because a: it's Dorian's fault (unintentionally) that he brought Toby back to life to begin with and b: there's always gonna be that little part of Dorian that just thinks it's his fault for not stopping Toby back in the 1980s. Like hell anything's going to harm Toby on Dorian's watch....which means that something's going to inevitably harm Toby and we get Dorian being a self-centered asshat in return. He doesn't want a world without Toby. So hey, if Toby wants to try some things, wants Dorian to please stop flirting, then Dorian will try his hardest to appease that and do what Toby wants. He's got a chance to settle down and just be with Toby, he's going to take advantage of that come hell or high water. And hey. Toby's here, Toby's alive, this is a second chance at having an actual relationship since Toby had been alive for what, two days back home, and Dorian is not going to let this chance slip away from his fingers and he is going to try his hardest not to fuck it up. There's just this little part of Dorian's mind that wishes Toby would have the same level of trying not to fuck up a relationship that he has because YOU HAVE DIED TWICE, TOBIAS MATTHEWS, FOR FUCK'S SAKE PLEASE STOP THAT. they're a trainwreck. but, they're a happy trainwreck and a trainwreck in love. ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ hisheartsdesire

to add: Saya, d'artagnan