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"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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Pencil me in as a maybe. As well as a quite literal 'it's not you who might be causing problems, it's me.'

[ Why are relationships and friendships and friends with benefits so messy sometimes, Dorian doesn't know. ]

[And this is the reason Sweeney fought so hard to not fuck anyone here in the first place. Fucking is for the land of drunkenness and bad decisions one doesn't have to live with when he's on the road again the next day.]

I'm not looking for problems. Certainly not looking to do anything that's more trouble than it's worth.

And trust me: I'm not looking to cause trouble.

And we're going to pretend that neither of us are actually trying to be responsible about something that should be impulsive and reckless.

[Okay? There's only so much a poor Leprechaun can take. His comfort zone was passed a few mile markers back.]

Oh my God of course. The fact that I even went straight to 'I should check with someone else' instead of 'let's fuck her brains out' disgusts me.

I'm responsible now. How horrid.

Oh how you've fallen. Having a proper inmate's gonna have you coloring inside the fucking lines.

If I start turning down alcohol, drugs, or sex right out the gate, please go tell the Admiral because I've obviously been brainwashed or replaced by a pod person.

[ a pause before, ]

Cocaine's the one exception to that rule. I have a VERY good reason for turning down cocaine.

No cocaine. Got it.

[There's only a moment before there's a follow up.]

Met your man. Get why you like him.

[Sweeney, a master in the art of the segue.]

We're annoyingly alike in a lot of ways.

He's dead back home. Have I told you that? I'll admit, I'm a little pissed that everybody else got to see him but I didn't.

He mentioned that. And I know the feeling. He leave a note?

He did. It was short, but I'm still glad I have it.

What about you? Did Laura leave anything behind?

No. Didn't expect her to. Not much to say when I'm here and can't get her what she wants.

[No matter how much he wishes she had, he knows damn well it would have been too much to hope for.]

Still. She could have at least said SOMETHING. It's only polite.

Don't think there's a polite bone in her body.

[And he's seen a fair number of them.]

She did seem like an abrasive little shit—emphasis on the 'little.'

I'm guessing she didn't touch you. That package is very deceiving. Like cut a guy in half with a kick to the nuts deceiving.

Jesus fucking Christ.

No, we only talked. And thank God for that, I'd hate to learn what my body does when bisected.

What can I say? Luck's a powerful thing and she's feeding off mine straight from the tap.

[Fuck, how he misses the feeling. A warm, fitted glove that makes him himself. Lucky in everything he does.]

So let me make sure I have all my ducks in a row. You had a lucky gold coin, something that is more than a coin, something that's part of you. Somehow, Dead Laura got hold of it. Dead Laura is now Not As Dead Laura and Lucky Mad Sweeney is now Not As Lucky Mad Sweeney.

Luck's your thing, though. Are you sure you're doing fine?

In regards to everything off this boat? Course I'm fucking not. Only reason I'm not a walking disaster is the Admiral taps down on magic. Back when we had those pockets, I ended up laying on an 8" piece of glass. So yes. Need my fucking coin back from that fucking cunt.

Again, I point out the fact that I can just ASK for it. Why do you care so much about this woman in the first place? She's supposed to be dead to begin with.

Not supposed to be beyond Grimnir's fucking whim. Her and me have a Deal. I can't just take it from her. She's gotta give it and she's not going to do that until she doesn't need it anymore.

Well.

In that case, I'm sorry it's never that simple. I wish it was.

Me too. Just leaves me doing it the long way. Graduate, graduate someone else, get her alive, get my coin.

Old bastards like us, the long way isn't even the longest thing we've done.

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