Before recently, I had believed a very dear friend had befallen a similar fate. I... [He pauses still struggling with talking about Thomas. But Dorian already knows about him.]
My lover. He was taken from me when it was discovered we were having an affair, he was a very well-respected Lord. I was also sleeping with his wife, so that story was easier to sell. They had whisked him away to a mental asylum where he... he supposedly succumbed to the anguish of it all. In truth, he was taken to a prison plantation, in Savannah, hidden away and dead to the world.
[ That's even worse, Dorian can't help but think. At least with Oscar, he knew where he was. He could visit him in the end. He wasn't shipped away across the fucking continent.
So there's actual, real, unapologetic sincerity in his voice when he says, ]
I'm sorry. I wish things could have gone differently.
[Not as sorry as I am echoes in his mind, but his own guilt and self-loathing would likely sound rude if said aloud. He appreciates the other's kind words.]
I thought for a decade he'd been dead, I've done... terrible things since then. [Because of it, really, he was so angry at London, at Civilization.]
But he's alive, and if I graduate, I want to go back and find him and save him, take him away from that place.
[Though there's a part of him that also thinks if he'd just go back and change things, maybe he could spare both Thomas and Miranda, even if it means he won't be in their lives to ruin it.]
Sorry, [He sighs.] jaysus, all you did was ask who I was planning lunch for, not my whole life story.
[Which it isn't, really, just a very large chunk of the iceberg breaking away.] I don't... I don't normally do this.
[But Dorian is so disarming somehow and showing each other sympathy for the horrible things they went through because they dare to love whomever they want to love. In a world that demands heteronormativity.]
We're still discussing the threesome thought. But, I do apologize. I'm sure you'll survive though. You'll need to keep Norton company, he'll be heartbroken to know I'm spoken for.
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Prison weakened him, but it didn't kill him. Something else did.
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Before recently, I had believed a very dear friend had befallen a similar fate. I... [He pauses still struggling with talking about Thomas. But Dorian already knows about him.]
My lover. He was taken from me when it was discovered we were having an affair, he was a very well-respected Lord. I was also sleeping with his wife, so that story was easier to sell. They had whisked him away to a mental asylum where he... he supposedly succumbed to the anguish of it all. In truth, he was taken to a prison plantation, in Savannah, hidden away and dead to the world.
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So there's actual, real, unapologetic sincerity in his voice when he says, ]
I'm sorry. I wish things could have gone differently.
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I thought for a decade he'd been dead, I've done... terrible things since then. [Because of it, really, he was so angry at London, at Civilization.]
But he's alive, and if I graduate, I want to go back and find him and save him, take him away from that place.
[Though there's a part of him that also thinks if he'd just go back and change things, maybe he could spare both Thomas and Miranda, even if it means he won't be in their lives to ruin it.]
Sorry, [He sighs.] jaysus, all you did was ask who I was planning lunch for, not my whole life story.
[Which it isn't, really, just a very large chunk of the iceberg breaking away.] I don't... I don't normally do this.
[But Dorian is so disarming somehow and showing each other sympathy for the horrible things they went through because they dare to love whomever they want to love. In a world that demands heteronormativity.]
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Don't worry. Weirdly enough, you're not the first person who's vented to me about their love life.
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Well, it gives you context anyway. Why I'm guarded. I'm... trying to remind myself that people here are different and that it's safe.
[He clears his throat, finishes bundling up his stuff to take away, and moves towards Dorian, extending a hand to him.]
Lovely to meet you Dorian.
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Enjoy your date!
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[Sometime later Dorian will get a text.]
As a note, some flirting is fine as long as you understand it won't be going anywhere.
[Sorry Dorian, guess who's decided they're going to be exclusive.]
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Don't be boring. :(
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