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As will you, [ Dorian points out, a gentle tone creeping into his voice. There's a pause before he asks, ]

Something happened. Do you want to talk about it?

[Ah, hell. It wasn't his intent to bring Dorian into it again. It wouldn't be kind to him or Xie Lian, but he supposes he should at least know.]

I ended things with Xie Lian.

[ Dorian frowns for a moment, thinking things over. There's a long pause before he admits, ]

You know? I don't think I'm that surprised? Old as he is, he's hilariously inexperienced in the ways of an actual relationship.

[He nods, a little sadly.]

I wish it had gone differently. I really do love him.

You can still love someone and know that they'd be rubbish for you at the same time, [ Dorian muses. ]

[And that's exactly what Crozier had come to realize.]

In the end I don't think we understood each other. I wanted certain things that I could never have.

And that is a perfectly serviceable reason to break up with someone, [ he points out. ] Don't think yourself lesser because of it.

I don't think myself lesser. I deserve...well. I'm deserving, of love and affection, and of having someone be honest with me.

[He rubs his head carefully.]

Is that tea ready?

Just about. Which of my horrifically tacky mugs do you want to drink from today? The one with Halo Man or the fake Oscar Wilde quote?

[ His name is Master Chief, not that either of these two know. ]

The Halo Man?

[What the fuck is that. Some sort of angel, right?]

You keep the fake quote.

It's the man from Halo, [ Dorian says, like that explains everything. It takes him a moment to pour the water and place the teabags in each mug. But once they're there, steeping, he walks over to offer Crozier the one with Halo Man. ]

Aaand there we go. Perfect for dealing with nonsense.

[WHAT IS HALO, DORIAN.]

It isn't nonsense. [He takes a sip. Nothing about the way he feels is nonsense -- well. With a few exceptions.] Though...did you know I died a couple of days after you left?

What the fuck?! No I did not know it! What the hell happened?!

[Not many people knew. He grimaces.]

The Barge was in darkness, and Xie Lian and I had decided to take a stroll by lantern. I ended up... [He mumbles:] Falling down the stairs.

[ There's a pause as Dorian thinks that over, reconciling that information with Xie Lian's complete inability to deal with anything related to physical affection. ]

Did he try to catch you as it happened?

[Erk.]

He did, in fact, catch me.

[There's a looooong pause.]

Then he let go.

He what?!

[ There's a brief moment where Dorian looks incandescently angry. He pushes down his sheer rage after a moment, but it's still dancing on the sidelines. ]

I guessed he was touch-averse, but this is fucking ridiculous.

[Not his intent. He frowns, looking uncomfortable.]

He couldn't explain why he reacted the way he did. We'd...touched before, held hands, embraced. I think that was more frustrating than anything else.

I adore the man's company. But Christ out of all the men in the world, he is the most rubbish at explaining things.

Aye.

[He nods softly, eyes on his cup of tea.]

That he is. I tried my best. That's all I could do.

And that's all he can ask, [ Dorian nods. ] That's the foundation of any relationship, really. Trying your best and hoping the other person does the same.

[He believes that Xie Lian was trying his absolute best. He just doesn't know whether that makes it worse or not.]

Ah. Well. What more can be said?

Exactly. There's plenty more fish in the sea, after all—and I suspect the majority of those fish are fine with kissing.

[Oof.

But point made. He nods softly and brings his tea up to his lips.]

I may be done searching for a little while. I'm worn the hell out.

Understandable, [ he shrugs. ] Though I should point out that I will happily scratch any itches you may have during your period of not searching.

[ aka he's fine giving Crozier a nice quick little fuck if the man desires. ]

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