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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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[statementfuckingends]

[Tim absolutely does not miss that, because he's actively looking for it, and honestly it's kind of reassuring. That Dorian seems to be just as taken as Jon.]

I assume this is probably supposed to be the part where I give you the whole shovel talk, [And the amusement at the notion is thick in his voice.] But I suspect anything I have to say your own brain's already filed in triplicate.

[brushoff]

Oh, you don't have to worry. My self-esteem is so piss poor that when my portrait became sentient, the first thing it tried to do was ruin my life and make me suffer.

[ If you joke about it, that means it doesn't bother you! (It absolutely bothers him) ]

Also, I've been hit over the head with a shovel before. I'd rather not go through that again.

[statementfuckingends]

[His eyes narrow slightly at the comment on his portrait, and he definitely puts a pin in that for later, because what the fuck Dorian. But he can move on.]

Well at least the both of you have utterly rubbish self-esteem. Maybe you'll cancel each other out.

[brushoff]

Or we'll just spiral into an even bigger awful self-loathing monster!

[ don't seem too excited about that, geez. ]

[statementfuckingends]

[And that gets a less playful, distinctly unimpressed look.]

I will absolutely punch you if Jon comes home one day feeling worse about himself than he already does. And I don't care if you're immortal, Kiryu's been teaching me.

[He's going to lean over and just help himself to another of Dorian's cigarettes.]

He really likes you, you know? He's so worried about hurting you.

[brushoff]

[ It's at that moment Dorian realizes oh. Oh no. Tim's definitely worried.

He's immediately a bit more scared he'll fuck this up. ]

Why's Jon worried? If anything, I'm the one who would hurt him.

[statementfuckingends]

You, sure. Narcissistic sociopath? You're practically made of red flags, but it's not like Jon's wearing rose glasses. He knows what you're like.

[He gestures vaguely with his new cigarette.]

But Jon? He's already worrying about not being enough for you. That he's going to be a burden on you.

[brushoff]

I'm a narcissistic egomaniac, thank you very much. Sociopath implies I don't care about other people, egomaniac implies I care mostly about myself.

[ But the idea that Jon's already worrying about not being enough...Dorian lets out an annoyed little huff before pointing out, ] I suppose I have to show him how enough he really is. He's never going to be a burden.