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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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12/13

[epistemological]

...Daniel's graduated.

[brushoff]

What?!

[ no way. That's... unexpected! But nice, if only for Jon. ]

I would offer him congratulations, but he still hates me. Still, the sentiment is there! And congratulations for you as well! Is this deal your not-a-TARDIS?

[epistemological]

[ A deeeep breath in. ]

No, no, that's jumping ahead one. This one is to shunt the Entities off into their little corner of reality, unable to reach any other world, and restore all the people, places, and things they've fucked to hell.

You know. The important one.

[brushoff]

[ There's a pause as Dorian takes that in. As he fills in the details. As he realizes what this means. ]

You'll be human again in that case. Won't you?

[ oh he has VERY mixed feelings about that. ]

[epistemological]

Yes, [ and that's followed by an almost breathless- ] which I am absolutely not suited for. But at least I'll be free, Dorian. No more ripping people's trauma open for a bloody snack o-o-or dragging their deepest darkests out by accident. And no more bloody apocalypse one bit of shitty poetry away!

I'm intending to get my powers back, on my terms, via a deal but that will obviously take some time. And it'll come after the... ship, I think. That makes the most sense to me.

[brushoff]

[ Dorian thinks, but doesn't say, 'but I like it when you rip people's trauma open. That's what drew me to you in the first place.'

But he knows that it's different for Jon than him and he knows that now is not the time nor the place to say it. And he also knows that he's basically one poor decision from being an avatar in Jon's world (if he wouldn't be one already) so his perception might be...a tad biased.

So he pushes all the mixed feelings down to give Jon a grin.He's blatantly teasing, but with a smile on his face to show it's good-natured. ] You're certainly going to need it. I have a sneaky suspicion you forgot how fragile humans are.

[epistemological]

I most certainly have. Thus a, um... well not an 'interim' solution, but a solution nonetheless.

I don't really have any desire to be human, after all. I'm not really suited to it.

[brushoff]

[ A solution. Jon doesn't have a desire to be human. ]

Please tell me that you're getting Nadja or Dracula to turn you.

[ please God let that solution be vampires. ]

[epistemological]

[ you're getting a look, Dorian. ]

...you mean to try being a vampire for a week?

[brushoff]

You said interim solution! Being a vampire counts! Also, what do you mean 'a week?'

[epistemological]

...that's how long it lasts around here when someone makes you a vampire. It's essentially just another kind of death toll, albeit one where you have to drink blood.

[brushoff]

Well that's ridiculous. Hasn't Lark turned people into werewolves? It's the same damn thing!

[epistemological]

Apparently not. Probably something to do with how death works, given their status as undead.

[brushoff]

I'm practically undead at this rate. How ridiculous.

[epistemological]

[ A bit of bluster. ]

That is- that is beside the point. Why would I want to go back to being a predator that has to feed on people's blood after I just got finished feeding on their-

Wait.

Did you want me to suck your blood?

[brushoff]

Obviously! Jon, I've dated at least two vampires. My kink isn't all that subtle!

Besides, better you be a vampire than any other supernatural monster. Obviously I'm top tier, but better a vampire than a ghost. Or, god forbid, a werewolf.

[epistemological]

[ The record scratch is nigh on audible.. ]

'God... forbid'?

[brushoff]

I mean, I like some of them as an individual. But that 'pack' thing? It seems horrifically co-dependent at times.

[ There's a pause before, ] And anyway, the last time I dealt with werewolves back home, I was mauled by one. Honestly, I'd much rather be a predator that has control over their nature than one who goes fucking feral every time the full moon shows up.

[epistemological]

[ Such a very long pause. ]

...right.

And... the fact that you were mauled by a vampire here just...




Right. Understood.

[brushoff]

[ There's a long pause before, ]

Thorn Birds...it was different. He was...Christ, he was so fucking stupid.

[ Dorian can't help but let out a little laugh. It's obvious he's got mixed opinions about Father John. But there's one thing he's certain of: he wishes the man was back here, on the Barge, back as his inmate.

He read the file. He could have helped. ]

He was a child. All he needed was direction.

[epistemological]

So... vampires can learn but... werewolves are just... feral, codependent beasts. Do I have that right?

[brushoff]

[ There's another pause before Dorian points out, ]

Right. You're friends with Lark, I almost forgot. This is one of those things, this is you getting on my ass because I like one brand of supernatural nonsense better than the one that your friend is part of.

[epistemological]

Clearly.

[ And Jon is going to breathe in deep, breathe out slow. Then he's going to flicker a smile.]

Nothing's changing until I help Daniel with the last of his business so...

[brushoff]

How long will that be? [ asks the man who is well aware that he stepped in it and is trying his best to move past that conversation. ] Obviously things are a little bit different from your time off-Barge and your time on-Barge, but color me curious!

[epistemological]

That depends on when Daniel wants to go. I'm trying not to rush him; he hasn't even announced it to the ship yet.