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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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like every one of them will beeeee

[monsterjohann]

"Why does that have to shape any fucking thing? I didn't have a childhood. I was made. Crawled out of the shit and the muck," he tells him with absolutely no sympathy.

[brushoff]

"Crawled out of the shit and the muck and immediately started interacting with people," he retorts. "And whether you want to admit it or not, those actions have so very obviously shaped you—like it would a child."

[monsterjohann]

"The more you keep trying to make me human, the stupider you sound," he mutters.

[brushoff]

"I don't want to make you human," he scoffs. "Human's dull. Besides, you'll never be human to begin with. I want to help you learn how to interact with people. No man is an island, idiot. And you won't always have Florian at your side to rely on for the hard bits."

[monsterjohann]

"No, of course I won't. Because he's dead."

Which is a fact he likes repeating. Like maybe the more he says it, the easier it might be to tolerate it.

[brushoff]

"That he is," Dorian nods. "So the question now is how will you survive in a world without him?"

[monsterjohann]

Johann laughs a bit and walks closer to him. "Why would I want to?" he asks, grinning. "When I'm here and I have everything I need?"

[brushoff]

"You do know that here is a world without him, right?" Dorian points out, standing his ground as he gives Johann a little raise of his eyebrow.

[monsterjohann]

"Yes, but people are much nicer here," he says, pleasantly enough. "Now fucking drop it or I'll break your face."

[brushoff]

"Oh no, violence against the man who can heal from any wound," he dryly responds. "Up your threats, darling."

[monsterjohann]

"Still hurts, doesn't it?" he scoffs.

[brushoff]

"Yes, but hurt is manageable. I wouldn't have lived as long as I have if I didn't know how to deal with 'hurt.'"

[monsterjohann]

"Oh? What's the worst that you've ever gone through?"

Now this is a subject he can get into. Comparing hurts.

[brushoff]

"I had my heart ripped directly out of my chest," Dorian muses. "That's certainly top five."

[monsterjohann]

"My head was blown off by a monster hunter," he says wistfully. "It was the only way she was able to knock me on my ass long enough to escape."

[brushoff]

"You know, I've got no idea what would happen if I was decapitated? I know when I lose an organ I grow it back, but I don't know if we would just have two Dorian heads or two Dorian bodies."

[monsterjohann]

Huh. That's a strange question, but he can realize the importance of asking.

"You never wanted to find out?"

[brushoff]

"Considering that would involve me getting my head cut off, obviously not."

Duh, kid.

[monsterjohann]

Johann, who spent his first date with Florian bashing himself on the rocks of the ocean to see what would happen, feels like that's nothing but cowardice.

Still.

"Nothing obvious about it."

[brushoff]

"Most people try to stay away from gratuitous amounts of pain," Dorian dryly points out. He's got a sneaky suspicion that Johann isn't 'most people' though.

[monsterjohann]

"Pain for the sake of pain isn't useful. But when you get something out of it..."

That makes a difference.

[brushoff]

"The only thing I could see myself learning from being decapitated is the knowledge of what would happen if I was decapitated," Dorian dryly responds.

"Aka shit knowledge."

[monsterjohann]

"Seems like it might help you in the long run. That way you'd know what to expect the next time something wanted to tear out your heart and ended up ripping off your head instead," he points out.

'Helpfully.'

[brushoff]

"Maybe I'll let you do the honors when you graduate."

See? That's what we call 'goals' and 'long-term planning.'

[monsterjohann]

"Oh, sounds fun," he mutters. "What a great damn incentive."