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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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[brushoff]

I'm certain that's because I don't like him and he knows it.

You know, he keeps on trying to recreate his werewolf cult here? I think the only person here who's actually taken him up on that was Iris, and she's certifiably insane. Noticeably, he turned an ex of mine into a werewolf right after the man had gone through a dramatic change, with timing so perfect that it felt like it was Lark taking advantage of a moment of hesitation and confusion about what next to do with one's life. But no, I'm the bad guy for pointing out that said ex made a rash decision.

[conning]

Hang on, back up, werewolf cult? I knew Iris could turn into a wolf but I assumed that was an Iris thing.

[brushoff]

Oh, no, it's not an Iris thing. Lark's a werewolf and he's got a whole werewolf pack thing going. I think he turned Iris, but I'm not a hundred percent sure on that. They've got the same vibes, at least, and I'm perfectly happy making assumptions based on vibes.

Honestly, the werewolves on the Barge are a fucking mess. You're lucky you missed Annie, she's even worse than he is. But yeah, if Lark's talking to you and you get the impression that he really likes you, expect to be drawn into his weird werewolf pack dynamic sooner rather than later.

[conning]

Oh, that’s great. That’s… super. He’s friends with my warden, who really doesn’t need a cult a leader recruiting him.

[brushoff]

Really, this is why I prefer vampires. Less baggage.

[conning]

[That startles a laugh out of him.]

I think you mean it’s all internal.

[brushoff]

You know, I can't even debate that.

[conning]

[A pause, while Neal reflects with irony on the wildly different tone of this conversation. Amused:]

As an aside, a friend of mine offered to help me sneak the Barge equivalent of Nair into your shampoo.

[brushoff]

Cute, but it wouldn't take. Immortality has it's perks, and one of them is regrowing hair, fingernails, and so on if they're horribly damaged.

I had chunks of my hair burned off by a German bomb one time. Nair would be a nuisance, but that's it.

[conning]

Oh, that is profoundly irritating.

So I guess it fits.

[Another pause as he realizes the “German bombs” thing isn’t even weird enough to register immediately any more. What the hell man.]

[brushoff]

Everything about me is profoundly irritating. Have I namedropped a celebrity I've met at you yet?

[conning]

No, but I'm pretty solid on that one myself.

[brushoff]

Pity. I've got a lovely story about getting drinks with Frank Sinatra.

[conning]

My landlady played cards with the Rat Pack on a regular basis and I inherited a closet full of suits made personally by Sy Devore. You’re not special.

[That last bit is clearly a joke.]

[brushoff]

[ Closet full of suits made personally by Sy Devore absolutely piques his interest. Dorian chuckles before pointing out, ]

One day, you, me and Norton all need to have a lovely little bitch sesh about how nobody on this goddamn ship can dress. Just because someone's dead, that doesn't give them the excuse of wearing an undershirt as an overshirt.

[conning]

God I miss my clothes. Yeah, what's communally available is better than a prison jumpsuit, but once you pass the ten thousand dollar mark there's really no going back.

[brushoff]

About every month or so I spend half a day in the infirmary, looking around, rifling through everything just to find something even slightly luxe.