Dorian pauses, thinking things over. He saw Envy in that weird black hole...thing. But there was a ritual involved? And Johann was helping?
"On the one hand, I'm happy that you made some friends. On the other hand, maybe don't help those friends enact a ritual that blows a bloody hole in the Barge?" He frowns, taking a moment, before continuing. "And no, I'm not taking your powers away. You're not as crafty as you think, Johann. Something else happened, something that you think you need to be punished for."
"He wanted out. To not exist or - or whatever the fuck he wanted."
Johann sits back, crossing his legs. "I fucking told Florian to stay away. I told him I'd be right back. But he fucking showed up anyway. I saw him. Under the rubble."
Oh. Oh, that explains it. Johann's actions led to the death of the person he's closest to and he absolutely doesn't know how to deal with it.
"We'll talk about the specifics later," Dorian says. "But right now? Get up. We're headed out."
Though not to Zero. Right now, Johann is a big mess of feelings and trauma and guilt and the last thing Dorian wants him to do is stew in it. That's his job, thank you very much.
He would normally have questions. Challenges. But not now. Now, he stands, following him obediently. He fires off a quick message to Archer after he checks his communicator, and then waits for him.
They're headed to the Enclosure. Dorian punches in the program, then opens the door for Johann. It's the rage room simulation that they've used before.
"You're pissed," he says, looking at his inmate. "You're pissed at Florian for dying, you're pissed at Envy for causing the explosion in the first place, you're pissed at me because I haven't taken you to Zero and most of all? You're pissed at yourself for getting Florian killed. That's a lot of complicated feelings which we can talk about later when you aren't as much of a live wire. So right now? You're going to take this baseball bat and smash everything in this room."
Johann doesn't enter this room with glee. He doesn't enter it with excitement. He sees that glass and those breakables and wishes he could cover himself in them and never return. Encase himself in shards of glass forever.
It would be freeing.
He takes the bat and, with a loud cry, slams it across the glassware on a table.
He's angry and fearful and frustrated, though all of it is directed at himself. He's so fucking stupid. He should have known better. He should have told him. He should have locked the door. He should have should have should have
He fucked up, he fucked up, he fucked up...
He hits the table again and again as hard as he can until the bat actually splinters in his hands.
"I don't want this," he says, pushing past Dorian and to the door. "Let me change it."
Dorian simply stands and watches, paying attention as Johann absolutely shreds that table. He can only imagine what sort of self-loathing is going through that head right now—he'll give his inmate some space. When he goes to the door, Dorian nods, following him outside.
Dorian follows Johann inside, though he doesn't get in the water himself. He watches Johann, partly curious to see what he's going to do next. From the shoreline, Dorian points out,
"You know, there were only two ways you could have prevented Florian from being hurt. One of them, I doubt you could have accomplished: convince Envy not to do whatever the fuck he did. But the second one was easy enough. You said you told Florian to stay away. Did you tell him what was going to happen if he didn't?"
"Well that's a problem," Dorian bluntly points out. "Him not involving you in his plans means that sooner or later? You're going to get hurt and it'll be his fault."
"What do you think I'm doing?" he dryly points out. "This is helping. If I didn't give a shit, I'd let you stew in your own self-loathing—you're getting dangerously close to my brand with that, by the way."
And Dorian follows, not letting Johann out of his sight.
"The blaming isn't the problem. The stewing in it is. You did kill him twice. Congratulations! You get to join the very exclusive club of people who routinely fuck over their lovers. The question now is: what will you do to make sure it's not a third time?"
It's just said so blunt, so forceful, totally matter-of-fact as Dorian stares Johann down. "Try again. What will Johann do to make sure it's not a third time?"
"Fuck that. You can do whatever the hell you want. You can tell Florian what you're doing, you can make sure that you don't do reckless things, you can work with Florian and other people, you can you can lock him in his room whenever you do something reckless."
Dorian shakes his head before pointing out, "You're not a tool. You're your own person."
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"On the one hand, I'm happy that you made some friends. On the other hand, maybe don't help those friends enact a ritual that blows a bloody hole in the Barge?" He frowns, taking a moment, before continuing. "And no, I'm not taking your powers away. You're not as crafty as you think, Johann. Something else happened, something that you think you need to be punished for."
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Johann sits back, crossing his legs. "I fucking told Florian to stay away. I told him I'd be right back. But he fucking showed up anyway. I saw him. Under the rubble."
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"We'll talk about the specifics later," Dorian says. "But right now? Get up. We're headed out."
Though not to Zero. Right now, Johann is a big mess of feelings and trauma and guilt and the last thing Dorian wants him to do is stew in it. That's his job, thank you very much.
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"You're pissed," he says, looking at his inmate. "You're pissed at Florian for dying, you're pissed at Envy for causing the explosion in the first place, you're pissed at me because I haven't taken you to Zero and most of all? You're pissed at yourself for getting Florian killed. That's a lot of complicated feelings which we can talk about later when you aren't as much of a live wire. So right now? You're going to take this baseball bat and smash everything in this room."
Cw: self harm thoughts
It would be freeing.
He takes the bat and, with a loud cry, slams it across the glassware on a table.
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"Keep going."
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He fucked up, he fucked up, he fucked up...
He hits the table again and again as hard as he can until the bat actually splinters in his hands.
"I don't want this," he says, pushing past Dorian and to the door. "Let me change it."
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"Where do you want to go? I'll get it set up."
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And when he opens the door again, it's the Black Moon, the Nord Sea. The stars are bright in the sky, reflecting off of the inky water.
Ignoring Dorian completely, he walks right for the water, all the way up to his waist, enjoying the biting cold.
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"You know, there were only two ways you could have prevented Florian from being hurt. One of them, I doubt you could have accomplished: convince Envy not to do whatever the fuck he did. But the second one was easy enough. You said you told Florian to stay away. Did you tell him what was going to happen if he didn't?"
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This is where he belongs. It's where he was born and created and summoned.
"I didn't want him involved. He doesn't involve me in his plans."
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"No," he laughs, bitter. "He's too clever for that."
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"People who are too clever don't die like a chump." A pause before, "They don't die like a chump multiple times."
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"Just shut up. If you won't help me, then at least leave me alone."
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He turns and starts walking back to shore.
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"The blaming isn't the problem. The stewing in it is. You did kill him twice. Congratulations! You get to join the very exclusive club of people who routinely fuck over their lovers. The question now is: what will you do to make sure it's not a third time?"
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That's what Florian had said to him. Asked him why he didn't just disappear instead of killing the professor.
It's what he did the first time. Floated out to sea, hoping to disappear.
"The last time, Johann became John. Johann died and I became something else."
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It's just said so blunt, so forceful, totally matter-of-fact as Dorian stares Johann down. "Try again. What will Johann do to make sure it's not a third time?"
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Dorian shakes his head before pointing out, "You're not a tool. You're your own person."
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