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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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[brushoff]

If you suddenly have 'turning into a bear' in those Eye powers of yours, I'll be very put out.

[ Dorian laughs, shaking his head slightly as he gives Elias a little grin. He finishes off his drink, setting it down before deciding. ]

I think I want another. Shall I top you off?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I'm not exactly the bear type, you may have noticed.

[ he swirls the drink in his hand, considering for a moment before finishing it off ]

What about a Sazerac this time?

[brushoff]

I think I've got everything for that? Rye whiskey, bitters, sugar cube, absinthe... [ Dorian turns to look through a cabinet that's very obviously his liquor cabinet—there's the sound of moving bottles as he continues to look. ]

Ha, here we go! Do you know some people make this with simple syrup? Disgusting, I know.

[ fun fact! Dorian is a snob! ]

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ If Dorian is missing anything, it'll be in the bag Elias brought.

and elias smiles at the snobbery and tuts with faux-disapproval. ]

The state of modern society. What's one to do about it?

[brushoff]

Youth, [ Dorian scowls. His face turns into a grin as he sets three bottles on the table before rifling through Elias's bad to pick out the last one. ]

I am more than happy to 'kids these days' when the kids are being stupid and tasteless.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

So always, then?

[ it's mostly a joke ]

[brushoff]

Occasionally there's someone worth my while, [ he shrugs. ] But I've found that generally, I enjoy the company of older men the most.

[ He gives Elias a wide, flirty smile before he starts the drink mixing process. ]

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ elias almost laughs at that ]

Do you say as much to all the interesting older men you meet?

[ he suspects dorian would say just about anything to someone he was attracted to. elias can understand that and doesn't begrudge him it ]

A shame you'll never have the chance to know for yourself the pleasure of having youths throw themselves at you simply because you have the distinction of age to your credit.

[brushoff]

Fortunately, they throw themselves at me for plenty of other reasons, [ he laughs. ]

I could give you a list if you want.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

A list of reasons? Or a list of the older men? [ now he does laugh, a small, amused chuckle ]

I think I'll stick to the cocktails for now.

[brushoff]

A list of both—though I'd probably start with older men, just to make you jealous.

[ Dorian winks as he pushes the now-finished cocktail in Elias's direction. ]

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ Elias receives the drink with more amusement ]

Jealous? Dorian, I don't think you're aware of exactly how long I've lived.

[ or what tends to happen to the men who become involved with him. ]

[brushoff]

Then tell me. How old are you really?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ rather than just answering, elias takes a drink. why just give someone what they'd asked for when you could make them wait for it a little ]

Jonah Magnus was born on All Soul's Day in the year of our lord seventeen hundred and eighty nine. A celebrated birth, the long expected eldest son of Lord and Lady Magnus.

[ he takes another sip, smiling almost to himself ]

But that was long ago and far away. Now, I am just shy of two-hundred and thirty years old.

[brushoff]

Fuck, [ Dorian sighs. ] Dorian Gray was born November 8, 1862—oooh, we're both Scorpios. Anyway, I came from twenty-twenty so that's....

[ pause to do maths! ]

One hundred and fifty eight? I'm assuming your birth name is Jonah Magnus, by the way. I know the pain of having to use aliases depending on the circumstances and due to the whole 'not dead' thing.

[ That...is not entirely the right assumption, but at least it's a reasonable assumption. ]

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ elias smiles into his drink, definitely not about to answer that one truthfully ]

So you see? I have a whole extra half century's worth of young men in my wake. But I shan't provide you a list. None of them made cocktails half as well as you.

[brushoff]

[ Dorian visibly preens at that. ]

Careful. You'll give me a bigger head than I already have.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ wonderful, thinks elias, to see he'd read dorian well enough to suspect this would go according to plan.

(wonderful, thinks elias, to see how delighted the compliments made him) ]

I don't think that's possible. You're quite possibly the biggest narcissist who's ever lived.

[brushoff]

One gets that way when they have a novel written by one of the world's most talented writers written about them, [ he grins. ] If you had a novel written about you, I'm sure your ego would be horrifically off the charts.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ that gets another chuckle ]

I suspect you would be horrified by just how mundane a lot of my life has been. Bringing about the end of the world takes a lot of planning, and a lot of very uninteresting work to get people to do what you want.

[brushoff]

To be fair, my life's relatively mundane as well. I'd say ten months of peace and quiet to two cumulative months of nonsense?

[ a pause before he points out, ] The 2010s were different but as far as I'm concerned, that decade's an outlier.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Yes, my dear. But how often in those ten months do you sit down to spreadsheet out the timetables of your various employees?

[ the thought of Dorian doing anything so pedestrian is absolutely amusing, and he makes no attempt to hide it ]

[brushoff]

Did I ever tell you about the time I worked as a banker? I'm woefully accomplished at a solid spreadsheet.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

If you say any more I'll need to have you right here on this counter and that would waste all the effort you put into our drinks.

[brushoff]

Don't threaten me with a good time.