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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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Comments

[brushoff]

I'll accept that, [ Dorian shrugs. ] But only if you would have voted for Norton or Petronilla instead—I can't see why so many people went for that fucking worm. If you were doing a joke entry, you could have at least entered a dog.

[ Voting for a centipede is debasing the inherent value of stupid who's the hottest polls!!! ]

[citizendetective]

They were just doing it to piss Norton off, god-- obviously. No, I voted for Petronilla! Not that it means anything.

I am so sorry

[brushoff]

[ Dorian looks at Misty. Then frowns, thinking back to the various points in their conversation. She doesn't think he's attractive. She voted for Petronilla. Add in a few other little tell-tale signs and you get... ]

Right, quick question, do you even like dick in the first place?

[ just ask her if she's a lesbian, jfc. ]

i mean. valid

[citizendetective]

Hahaha, you wish that's what it was! No, you just kind of look like a-- squirrel.

[This is not true. She actually does think he's decent-looking. She's just not going to tell him that.]

No, no. No. Wait.

A member of a boy band.

Re: i mean. valid

[brushoff]

Now that depends entirely on which boy band you think I'd be a good fit for.

[citizendetective]

The, uh-- one of the new ones. The one from the radio, god, what's it called-- "the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed"?

[She actually sings this part; she's pretty decent at it.]

That one, from a few years ago!

Or just. The Beatles.

[brushoff]

I do not look like a member of One Direction!

[ he is HORRIFIED ]

[citizendetective]

Yeah!

[She exclaims, with enthusiasm.]

That's it, that's the one I was thinking of!

[brushoff]

I'm going to have to introduce you to some proper music if bloody One Direction is your main mode of reference.

[citizendetective]

Oh, god, no, I'm more into Stephen Sondheim, and Andrew Lloyd Webber... especially Andrew Lloyd Webber. And Claude-Michel Schönberg and, and, actually, I'm hit or miss on a lot of the more modern showtune writers but some of them are really great.

Dennis Kelly. Dennis Kelly's good.

[Another sip of her drink.]

[brushoff]

[ If she sings show tunes at some point in the night, Dorian is going to gouge his ears out. ]

You've got the same taste in music as a housewife.

[citizendetective]

There's nothing wrong with musical theater, Dorian.

[brushoff]

There's nothing wrong with musical theater if you're a fifty year old woman with two kids and a husband who doesn't love you. You're...what, early forties at the most? You're still young enough to have better taste.

[citizendetective]

Forty two, dating around, and I like my taste. I'm not ashamed of my taste! What do you even listen to?

[brushoff]

Adam and the Ants, [ said without hesitation. ] Have you ever listened to "Antmusic?" Fucking masterpiece.

[citizendetective]

No. Is that-- is that a real song? I've never heard of it. Other than showtunes I actually mostly listen to eighties and nineties stuff, you know, nostalgia stuff, but like, um, light rock? Pop rock? Oh, and Nat made me put on the Pixies once; they were okay. Kind of dark.

[brushoff]

[ Dorian looks a little distraught as he points out, ]

"Antmusic" is the eighties! Christ, you're hopeless. Bring your margarita, I'm going to actually introduce you to some good music.

[citizendetective]

That doesn't mean I know every eighties song-- wait, where do you want us to go?

[She slides off her stool, testing out one wobbly step.]

[brushoff]

My bedroom, [ he says in a tone that's very 'duh, Misty.' ] That's where the record player is.

[citizendetective]

Oh, my god; a record player. Blast from the past!

[And she follows, wobbly and happily.]

[brushoff]

[ Dorian shakes his head, slightly endeared. He stubs his cigarette out on an ashtray before grabbing his (mostly drunk) margarita. He gestures for Misty to follow him as, keys in hand, he walks over to his bedroom. He unlocks his door before gesturing for her to follow.

Dorian's bedroom is a magpie nest. The walls, joints, and floor are all Victorian. But the bed is modern, some of the books are modern, and there's electricity and outlets throughout the room. And, tucked away at the bottom of a bookshelf, is a record player and some records. ]

Sit down on the bed or a chair, [ Dorian explains. ] I'll get things started.

[citizendetective]

[Carefully holding her glass in both hands, she perches on the edge of the bed, looking curiously around the room.]

You have eclectic tastes! I guess that comes with the... immortal thing.

[brushoff]

I'm also a horrible hoarder and a terrible magpie so that's a factor as well. [ He sets his glass down on the floor before Dorian starts to rummage through a box of singles. Once he finds what he's looking for, he lets out a small little 'ha!' of happiness before he starts to play the single. And soon, the sound of Adam and the Ants starts to float through Dorian's room. ]

There we go. Now that's classic music.

[citizendetective]

[Pulling her legs up to sit cross-legged on her bed (though she kicks off her Crocs first and goes in just her socks; she's not an animal), Misty drops her chin into her hand, listening to the song with a slight frown on her face. She waits until it's done to say:]

It's okay...

[brushoff]

Okay?!

[ It is phenomenal, it's not just okay! Dorian looks briefly affronted before he sighs. ]

I don't know why I even bother. You probably think the Phantom of the Opera is the height of romantic literature.