[It still feels sort of awkward and uncomfortable, just declaring his relationship with another man, to someone he just met. On the other hand, it's... nice? In a way, to be accepted and not scorned or cursed for it. To not have to be afraid that anything might happen to either of them because of it. It'll take some adjustment, but they'll get there.]
He does and he is. [He says as he takes his things to a table to start washing the fruits and veggies. He'll then slice up the tomato and start to assemble the sandwiches. Totally not blushing just a little bit at agreeing Raylan was cute.]
Admitting what I have to someone I've just met is ... a feat. I come from a time where anyone knowing I was with another man would mean death for both of us, or worse. And Raylan... where he's from isn't so kind either. I know this place is different, more accepting but it's still... difficult.
[ Dorian's silent for a moment. When he speaks, his tone is absolutely serious. ]
When I was younger, one of my friends was arrested for sodomy and 'gross indecency'—the term that London drafted up at the time to arrest men who buggered other men. I know how difficult it can be. [ a pause before, ] And I know how to keep a secret if the secret means this much.
[Flint glances at the other, quirking a brow and noticing the seriousness in his tone. He nods, cutting the sandwiches and wrapping them up nicely to be carried home. He'll then wash the knife and the table where he worked.]
I'd appreciate that. We aren't ready to be public. [A pause.]
Your friend, did they survive? [His tone is gentle, curious but sympathetic.]
Before recently, I had believed a very dear friend had befallen a similar fate. I... [He pauses still struggling with talking about Thomas. But Dorian already knows about him.]
My lover. He was taken from me when it was discovered we were having an affair, he was a very well-respected Lord. I was also sleeping with his wife, so that story was easier to sell. They had whisked him away to a mental asylum where he... he supposedly succumbed to the anguish of it all. In truth, he was taken to a prison plantation, in Savannah, hidden away and dead to the world.
[ That's even worse, Dorian can't help but think. At least with Oscar, he knew where he was. He could visit him in the end. He wasn't shipped away across the fucking continent.
So there's actual, real, unapologetic sincerity in his voice when he says, ]
I'm sorry. I wish things could have gone differently.
[Not as sorry as I am echoes in his mind, but his own guilt and self-loathing would likely sound rude if said aloud. He appreciates the other's kind words.]
I thought for a decade he'd been dead, I've done... terrible things since then. [Because of it, really, he was so angry at London, at Civilization.]
But he's alive, and if I graduate, I want to go back and find him and save him, take him away from that place.
[Though there's a part of him that also thinks if he'd just go back and change things, maybe he could spare both Thomas and Miranda, even if it means he won't be in their lives to ruin it.]
Sorry, [He sighs.] jaysus, all you did was ask who I was planning lunch for, not my whole life story.
[Which it isn't, really, just a very large chunk of the iceberg breaking away.] I don't... I don't normally do this.
[But Dorian is so disarming somehow and showing each other sympathy for the horrible things they went through because they dare to love whomever they want to love. In a world that demands heteronormativity.]
We're still discussing the threesome thought. But, I do apologize. I'm sure you'll survive though. You'll need to keep Norton company, he'll be heartbroken to know I'm spoken for.
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[It still feels sort of awkward and uncomfortable, just declaring his relationship with another man, to someone he just met. On the other hand, it's... nice? In a way, to be accepted and not scorned or cursed for it. To not have to be afraid that anything might happen to either of them because of it. It'll take some adjustment, but they'll get there.]
He does and he is. [He says as he takes his things to a table to start washing the fruits and veggies. He'll then slice up the tomato and start to assemble the sandwiches. Totally not blushing just a little bit at agreeing Raylan was cute.]
Admitting what I have to someone I've just met is ... a feat. I come from a time where anyone knowing I was with another man would mean death for both of us, or worse. And Raylan... where he's from isn't so kind either. I know this place is different, more accepting but it's still... difficult.
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When I was younger, one of my friends was arrested for sodomy and 'gross indecency'—the term that London drafted up at the time to arrest men who buggered other men. I know how difficult it can be. [ a pause before, ] And I know how to keep a secret if the secret means this much.
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I'd appreciate that. We aren't ready to be public. [A pause.]
Your friend, did they survive? [His tone is gentle, curious but sympathetic.]
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Prison weakened him, but it didn't kill him. Something else did.
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Before recently, I had believed a very dear friend had befallen a similar fate. I... [He pauses still struggling with talking about Thomas. But Dorian already knows about him.]
My lover. He was taken from me when it was discovered we were having an affair, he was a very well-respected Lord. I was also sleeping with his wife, so that story was easier to sell. They had whisked him away to a mental asylum where he... he supposedly succumbed to the anguish of it all. In truth, he was taken to a prison plantation, in Savannah, hidden away and dead to the world.
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So there's actual, real, unapologetic sincerity in his voice when he says, ]
I'm sorry. I wish things could have gone differently.
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I thought for a decade he'd been dead, I've done... terrible things since then. [Because of it, really, he was so angry at London, at Civilization.]
But he's alive, and if I graduate, I want to go back and find him and save him, take him away from that place.
[Though there's a part of him that also thinks if he'd just go back and change things, maybe he could spare both Thomas and Miranda, even if it means he won't be in their lives to ruin it.]
Sorry, [He sighs.] jaysus, all you did was ask who I was planning lunch for, not my whole life story.
[Which it isn't, really, just a very large chunk of the iceberg breaking away.] I don't... I don't normally do this.
[But Dorian is so disarming somehow and showing each other sympathy for the horrible things they went through because they dare to love whomever they want to love. In a world that demands heteronormativity.]
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Don't worry. Weirdly enough, you're not the first person who's vented to me about their love life.
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Well, it gives you context anyway. Why I'm guarded. I'm... trying to remind myself that people here are different and that it's safe.
[He clears his throat, finishes bundling up his stuff to take away, and moves towards Dorian, extending a hand to him.]
Lovely to meet you Dorian.
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Enjoy your date!
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[Sometime later Dorian will get a text.]
As a note, some flirting is fine as long as you understand it won't be going anywhere.
[Sorry Dorian, guess who's decided they're going to be exclusive.]
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Don't be boring. :(
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