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"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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Partially. Care to prove me wrong?

How could I do that?

Tell me the reason why we're having this conversation. Tell me precisely what Pagan means to you. And then tell me if he means those things to you because he's him or because he's your warden.

Nobody has ever tried to understand me like he does. Nobody has ever really cared about me or wanted to be around me like he does.

He deserves better.

There's over thirty people on the Barge. If you feel none of the thirty people want to be around you or care about you, then maybe the problem isn't the thirty people.

You'll notice I didn't say it was.

Self-reflection! I've got to admit, I didn't expect it.

It doesn't change anything I said, Dorian.

And I think you've made your point. So if you don't have anything else to say aside from the fact that I'm a shitty warden and a shitty friend and Pagan doesn't deserve my affection, why not focus on actually recovering from dying instead of yelling at people over the comms?

Did I make my point? Do you believe me?

... And did you give Natalie any drugs after?

No drugs. I gave her some tequila, but cut her off before she got to blackout levels.

... Okay.

You didn't answer my other questions.

You'll have to remind me what they were again.

[ he is being a shit for the sake of being a shit. ]

You wanted me to convince you that Pagan actually matters to me. Did it work.

I do think that Pagan matters to you. Jury's out on whether he matters to you as Pagan or whether he matters to you because he's your warden.

It's both, Dorian.

That's the wrong answer, Misty.

Why the hell is it the wrong answer?

Because he deserves better than you. If you want to graduate, if you ever want to get the hell off this boat and go back to your life, you'll need to be friends with someone solely because you like them. No strings attached! Not because it's their job to pay attention to you, not because they're the only person here from your fucked up little plane crash polycule, but because you like them and enjoy their company and want to be with them even if you get the bare fucking minimum of their company in return.

And I do! God, Dorian! And he's-- it's not about the job or the deal to him.

But he's still here for a deal. He's still here for a reason. And I can still feel that he deserves better than someone who takes her addict girlfriend out for a booze and drugs run and then immediately fusses at me when I even broach the topic of offering up drugs myself.

He's not here for a deal. He doesn't really care about that.

Everyone's here for a deal. They're either here for a deal, here because of their guilt, or here because they're too scared to go back home. Nobody's altruistic enough to sign on just for fun.

Oh please, of course it's not for fun. He's here because he wants to help people like me.

Again. Nobody's that altruistic.

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audio; *NAIVE not native, thanks fingers