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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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[pitofguilt]

"You can't do that." Can he? She's pretty sure that's not how this pairing thing works.

And even though it doesn't hurt at all, she swats his hand away. "I know that."

But consider: she doesn't want to be sober right now. She watched Misty die, Dorian. She got a fork through the hand. Let her have this. (Don't let her have this.)

[brushoff]

"I absolutely can do that."

Technically speaking, he can't. But Dorian can certainly ride Natalie's ass and keep an eye on her and be in her business. And in his mind, that's close enough.

"I need to teach you how to sulk in a sexy way. If you're going to spiral, be classy about it."

[pitofguilt]

She grabs another pillow, covers her face with it, groans loudly into it, and then flings it toward her feet. Mature as hell, this one.

"If you wanna fuck, all you have to do is ask."

Also, fuck you, she knows how to sexy sulk. It comes in handy when she needs a little extra cash in a new city.

[brushoff]

"If I fuck you, you'll be sober," Dorian points out, in a sing-song tone of voice. Baby's having a tantrum, how cute. And he is perfectly fine giving Natalie shit for the sake of giving her shit.

[pitofguilt]

Excuse you, she's more mature than a baby. Think bratty teenager, thank you.

"Ethical. Good."

Not that she hasn't used being drunk as an excuse to bed and rob someone before, but at least she can be sure Dorian's room is a safe place. Mostly. Nowhere is ever really safe.

[brushoff]

"Is it really ethical if your main concern is whiskey dick?" Dorian dryly responds. "Or whatever the hell the lady equivalent of that is. Although, getting vomited on is a concern no matter the gender."

[pitofguilt]

"Tequila tits." She's bullshitting for the hell of it, and she knows he knows that. "I'm more concerned with consent, actually."

[brushoff]

"I am many things," Dorian points out. "Addict, murderer, horrible friend. But I'm certainly not going to try and coerce sometime or take advantage of them if they're drunk and don't want to fuck."

[pitofguilt]

"Same here."

Natalie lets out a long sigh.

"Think I'm gonna pass out. Don't wake me up unless I'm in distress. I'm so fucking tired." Of thinking, mostly. Of remembering what happened a few hours ago.

[brushoff]

It do be like that sometimes, Dorian thinks, but doesn't say. Sometimes life is hard and your best friend is dead and you just want to sleep.

"Get a good night's sleep, Nat. I'll wake you up if Misty's coherent enough to be posting to the network."

[pitofguilt]

Yes. Best friend. No, wait--

"Yeah. Sounds good."

Allergic to saying thank you as she is, that will suffice for her. She settles in for a nice bout of unconsciousness.