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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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[citizendetective]

Oh, no, if I go into a conversation assuming we're going to get along, they make sure to make it clear that they have no interest in that and we're not going to be friends.

[Bitter? Never.]

[brushoff]

So it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, got it.

[citizendetective]

Dorian, I just said that it wasn't.

[brushoff]

And I'm saying that it probably is, you're just refusing to admit it. If the entire world is out to get you or reacts to you in the same way, then the problem isn't the entire world: it's you.

[citizendetective]

Then why did you ask, if you were only interested in dismissing me?

[brushoff]

Because I'm not only interested in dismissing you, [ he points out, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. ]

This conversation would have gone a different way if it didn't take a nosedive into the Misty Quigley persecution complex.

[citizendetective]

I do not have a-- how would it have gone, Dorian?

[brushoff]

One, you do so have a persecution complex. You need to have more self-confidence, darling. And two, we would have ended up just having a lovely evening with drinks, shooting the shit, and marginally less bitching.

[citizendetective]

Dorian.

[She tosses him an amused little look.]

Trust me, I have way better self-confidence than you.

[brushoff]

[ He raises a little eyebrow before saying, in a slightly mean Misty impression, ]

Hi, my name's Misty Quigley, I'm scared that when more people learn about our secrets it'll ruin what I have with my girlfriend and she won't like me anymore.

[citizendetective]

[Okay, first of all, rude. And second of all--]

That has nothing to do with my self-confidence.

[brushoff]

[ Dorian adjusts his Misty impression, this time making it a bit less squeaky. ]

Hi, my name's Misty Quigley with better self-confidence. I've realized that it doesn't matter who learns about my secrets because I know myself and I know Natalie and the rest of the Barge learning about our fucked up plane crash or whatever it is doesn't matter. We look out for each other, she trusts me, I trust her, and nothing anybody says or does could change it.

[citizendetective]

That's not self-confidence. That's confidence in other people.

[And oh boy, does she have very little of that.]

[brushoff]

It's both. Confidence in others that they won't think less of you, and confidence in yourself that if they do get a little stupid about it and do attack you for it, you can weather the storm.

[citizendetective]

Dorian!

[This time she laughs, tense and forced-sounding.]

You really don't know the first thing about me, do you! Wow.

I've been weathering that storm for my entire life. I am an expert at weathering that storm.

[brushoff]

An expert at weathering that storm because you had a cute little group to be a part of. [ at least, that's what he's assuming based on Misty 'I started this conversation talking about how I want a really intense friends group' Quigley. ]

How many of you survived that plane crash back home? At least two, probably more? Certainly more than your cute little group here of Natalie, Pagan, you, and me—and even then, your cute little group here is rocky at best.

[citizendetective]

[God, Dorian. Are you going to make her say out loud the thing she doesn't even like thinking about too hard? Extremely rude.

Or she could lie. She could tell him that he's right, that they're all so close-knit, that they all definitely love talking to her and keeping in close contact.

She doesn't answer, not immediately, but the indecision plays out across her face.]

[brushoff]

[ Dorian doesn't say anything for a bit, mostly because he suspects he's right. Instead, he takes the silence to top off Misty's wineglass before quietly asking, ]

Others exist. But Nat's the only one you actually talked to, isn't she?

[ Idly, he thinks back to their conversation after Natalie showed up for that flood, before she showed up entirely, Misty so desperate to learn something, anything about what they talked about. He's only heard the names of the other girls once or twice. Even if she didn't show up for the flood, if she wasn't here, he suspects he'd hear Natalie's name more often. ]

I think the way you make friends is more like me than you realize.

[citizendetective]

I talk to them.

[She says it defensively, remembering Dorian's months-ago accusation that Natalie is the only one she really cares about.]

It's just-- Nat's the only one who talks back.

[And at home, only when she needed something. But that had been enough.

She lets that answer hang, hoping that he'll explain further. Whatever reaction she'd expected - mocking, teasing, a little casual cruelty - it hadn't been commiseration.]

[brushoff]

[ There's a long pause. After a moment, Dorian stands up, gesturing for Misty to follow. ]

Come on. There's something in my attic sex dungeon that I need to show you. Something that wasn't there last time.

[ He really hopes he's making the right choice. ]

[citizendetective]

Okay...

[This sure is unexpected! But she'll follow, leaving her drink behind.]

[brushoff]

[ he talks as he walks, heading out to the hallway. ]

And it's because Nat's the one who talks back, because she's the one who understands, that's why you're so close to her. Because sure, you could tell other people what happened. You could make friends with your coworkers or neighbors or whatever. But they won't know the real you.

[ Someone miiiiight be projecting a smidge himself. ]

[citizendetective]

My coworkers and neighbors don't particularly like talking to me either, Dorian.

Who was your Nat? Your zombie ex?

[See, she pays attention! A little too much attention sometimes.]

[brushoff]

Vampire ex. Though he did die and come back to life so technically a zombie? But he was a vampire first and foremost.

And do they not like talking to you or do you just not put in the effort? You're smarter than most people give you credit for, I'm sure you could find a way to bullshit your way through social interaction.

[citizendetective]

I put in the effort. Well, not as much as I used to. I've talked about this with Pagan; the older I get, the more most people and most interactions just feel... hollow.

[A pause.]

Cardboard. That's the term I've used.