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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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[brushoff]

I'm gonna yell at him when he wakes up, [ Dorian grumbles, slumping against Trixie. He is very drunk and very tired and needs a nap. ]

I'm gonna yell at everyone here. I'm Dorian Gray. I don't care what they think about me!

[wishiwasatree]

[She hauls his arm around her shoulder and holds him around the waist, dragging him off towards his bedroom.]

Yeah, yeah, you're Dorian Gray. Shut the fuck up, sweetheart, it's bedtime.

[brushoff]

[ He lets Trixie drag him, very much just being a lump of a human being at the moment. It's only when they're close to his room that Dorian murmurs. ]

I wanted to break down that door and punch Misty in the face. But I can't, because I'm a fucking warden, and only inmates are allowed to make stupid decisions and massively inconvenience everybody. [ pause ] Or Taylor. But she's an inmate now so still counts, I suppose.

[wishiwasatree]

She's got her issues, Dorian. We all fucking do. [She can't say anything about Misty taking care of Pagan while he's in a coma, but she doesn't think she'll hurt him either.

It's hard, being possessive.]

Taylor fucked you up, huh?

[brushoff]

She fucked a lot of people up, [ Dorian points out. And he fully indulges in being a mean drunk as he continues with, ] But she's a walking vegetable and she's hurt as well, so nasty Dorian gets fussed at when he points out that we are all overlooking the elephant in the room and that elephant is named 'she did this herself.'

[ Like seriously! If she was truly controlled by some outside force, she wouldn't have gotten demoted in the first place! Why is he the only person who recognizes this?

But Trixie's here and Trixie's happy to listen to him bitch so guess what? More bitching. ]

And also! Jon, Archivist Jon, he's apparently going to be a werewolf now? I don't like dogs! I just tolerate his because that's what you do when you're dating someone! You say that their kid is cute even if that child is ugly as sin and you pet their dog!

[wishiwasatree]

[That's...a lot. Trixie nods and hums as he carries on, hauling his drunk ass into his bedroom. She lets him flop onto his bed and starts taking off his shoes.]

Werewolf ain't just a dog, but I got your point. [It's Jon's decision though, ultimately. She just knows Dorian doesn't like the big change, and the loss of his powers.]

[brushoff]

[ He flops onto the bed, still very much in his cups, still very much not shutting the hell up. ]

And he's going to have this stupid pack bullshit and I hate stupid pack bullshit, that sort of thing drove Godric up the wall and I don't even want this pack bullshit! I want— [ undignified sniff ] I want something penguin.

[ Someone has slid into pathetic drunk. Pathetic drunk who just really needs to go to bed. There's another little undignified sniff before, ]

They mate for life. I saw it in a movie.

[ Okay drunkass. ]

[wishiwasatree]

[Poor drunk baby.]

'course you do. [But isn't that person Pagan? Isn't that why he reacted the way he did with Misty?]

I fucked half of Deadwood, but I want something penguin. Just want someone all my own, and I'll love them like that in fucking turn. Be theirs forever.

But that's Pagan for you. He's your penguin.

[brushoff]

[ That person is Pagan and that is why he reacted the way he did but sometimes you're just a stupid baby who kind of wishes your penguin didn't have this other penguin permanently lodged up his asshole.

Dorian makes a small noise of acknowledgement before staring at the ceiling. ]

You're a good friend, Trixie. And you're the smartest person on this fucking ship.

[wishiwasatree]

Nah. [She pulls off his socks and sits up on the bed to unbuckle his belt, but not in a sexy way.] Just not drunk off my fucking tits.

It'll be alright, Dorian. Pagan'll wake up and you can suck his johnson again and live happily ever fucking after.

[brushoff]

[ Dorian's limp drunk noodle body isn't helping Trixie out at all. On the other hand, he's not actively hindering her as she yanks off his clothes. ]

I'd settle for just living happy, [ he points out. ] None of that fairy tale bullshit. Just happy.

[wishiwasatree]

[It's like undressing a rag doll! But Trixie's struggled through worse, so she gets his belt off and shirt and finds something for him to sleep in.]

Figure of fucking speech, Dorian. I know there's no happily ever after.

[brushoff]

True. But it's nice to pretend.

[ He yawns, straight up about to pass out here and now. Don't worry too much about those clothes, Trixie. ]

[wishiwasatree]

[She'll stay until he falls asleep, getting up to tidy around his cabin before she joins him on the bed to read for a bit.

She just wants to make sure he won't wake up still half-drunk and alone.]

[brushoff]

[ He ends up passing the hell out, sleeping the sleep of the absolutely fucking wasted. After a certain point, it becomes apparent that he's passed the hell out and she's free to leave. ]