"I do," Dorian nods. "And I know that other people would have taken what happened to them and responded with grace. Or tenacity. Or a stubborn desire to make it so that never happens to anyone else. You did this to yourself just as much as I did."
He groans, glancing back towards the town and, subsequently, the Barge. "Good fucking luck, sweet pea. But if you want to talk about getting fucked before I even knew what the world was like, then you tell me what else I should have done other than make sure they felt the knife across their throats afterward."
cw: csa right back at you, this is a bummer of a conversation
Dorian rolls his eyes before pointing out, "I'm not begrudging you murdering them—some people need to die. What I am begrudging you for is that you seem to have shaped your entire life based on the shit that happened to you when you were young."
He frowns before deciding to continue with, "Do you know when my first time was? Fifteen, my governness, a horrible woman who happily took advantage of the fact that I was young, stupid, and didn't know how to say no. You don't have a monopoly on getting fucked as a child."
"Why does that have to shape any fucking thing? I didn't have a childhood. I was made. Crawled out of the shit and the muck," he tells him with absolutely no sympathy.
"Crawled out of the shit and the muck and immediately started interacting with people," he retorts. "And whether you want to admit it or not, those actions have so very obviously shaped you—like it would a child."
"I don't want to make you human," he scoffs. "Human's dull. Besides, you'll never be human to begin with. I want to help you learn how to interact with people. No man is an island, idiot. And you won't always have Florian at your side to rely on for the hard bits."
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There's a pause as Dorian decides how to phrase this.
"You aren't the only person in the world who was hurt by someone just for the hell of it."
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cw: csa
cw: csa right back at you, this is a bummer of a conversation
He frowns before deciding to continue with, "Do you know when my first time was? Fifteen, my governness, a horrible woman who happily took advantage of the fact that I was young, stupid, and didn't know how to say no. You don't have a monopoly on getting fucked as a child."
like every one of them will beeeee
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Which is a fact he likes repeating. Like maybe the more he says it, the easier it might be to tolerate it.
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