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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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Comments

[citizendetective]

Still not what I said. And who cares if we're nothing alike, that's not-- most of the people I talk to are nothing like me.

[brushoff]

Then who would you say is like you?

[ A pause before, ] Finish up your margarita, by the way. Wouldn't want the ice to melt.

[citizendetective]

I'm taking my time with it, thank you. You know, you remind me of a friend of mine. She's rude and snarky, too.

[Two can play the "not answering questions" game.]

[brushoff]

Is she as good a bartender as I am?

[ he takes another drag of his cigarette, just blatantly not asking for this friend's name. ]

[citizendetective]

I don't know. Probably; you leave a lot to be desired.

[brushoff]

You'll just have to get to know me better, [ he grins. ] After all, I am much more than just a pretty face.

[citizendetective]

Oh, please; you're not that good-looking. I wouldn't've voted for you on the, the-- the thing, on the network, even if you had been an option.

[brushoff]

I'll accept that, [ Dorian shrugs. ] But only if you would have voted for Norton or Petronilla instead—I can't see why so many people went for that fucking worm. If you were doing a joke entry, you could have at least entered a dog.

[ Voting for a centipede is debasing the inherent value of stupid who's the hottest polls!!! ]

[citizendetective]

They were just doing it to piss Norton off, god-- obviously. No, I voted for Petronilla! Not that it means anything.

I am so sorry

[brushoff]

[ Dorian looks at Misty. Then frowns, thinking back to the various points in their conversation. She doesn't think he's attractive. She voted for Petronilla. Add in a few other little tell-tale signs and you get... ]

Right, quick question, do you even like dick in the first place?

[ just ask her if she's a lesbian, jfc. ]

i mean. valid

[citizendetective]

Hahaha, you wish that's what it was! No, you just kind of look like a-- squirrel.

[This is not true. She actually does think he's decent-looking. She's just not going to tell him that.]

No, no. No. Wait.

A member of a boy band.

Re: i mean. valid

[brushoff]

Now that depends entirely on which boy band you think I'd be a good fit for.

[citizendetective]

The, uh-- one of the new ones. The one from the radio, god, what's it called-- "the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed"?

[She actually sings this part; she's pretty decent at it.]

That one, from a few years ago!

Or just. The Beatles.

[brushoff]

I do not look like a member of One Direction!

[ he is HORRIFIED ]

[citizendetective]

Yeah!

[She exclaims, with enthusiasm.]

That's it, that's the one I was thinking of!

[brushoff]

I'm going to have to introduce you to some proper music if bloody One Direction is your main mode of reference.

[citizendetective]

Oh, god, no, I'm more into Stephen Sondheim, and Andrew Lloyd Webber... especially Andrew Lloyd Webber. And Claude-Michel Schönberg and, and, actually, I'm hit or miss on a lot of the more modern showtune writers but some of them are really great.

Dennis Kelly. Dennis Kelly's good.

[Another sip of her drink.]

[brushoff]

[ If she sings show tunes at some point in the night, Dorian is going to gouge his ears out. ]

You've got the same taste in music as a housewife.

[citizendetective]

There's nothing wrong with musical theater, Dorian.

[brushoff]

There's nothing wrong with musical theater if you're a fifty year old woman with two kids and a husband who doesn't love you. You're...what, early forties at the most? You're still young enough to have better taste.

[citizendetective]

Forty two, dating around, and I like my taste. I'm not ashamed of my taste! What do you even listen to?

[brushoff]

Adam and the Ants, [ said without hesitation. ] Have you ever listened to "Antmusic?" Fucking masterpiece.

[citizendetective]

No. Is that-- is that a real song? I've never heard of it. Other than showtunes I actually mostly listen to eighties and nineties stuff, you know, nostalgia stuff, but like, um, light rock? Pop rock? Oh, and Nat made me put on the Pixies once; they were okay. Kind of dark.

[brushoff]

[ Dorian looks a little distraught as he points out, ]

"Antmusic" is the eighties! Christ, you're hopeless. Bring your margarita, I'm going to actually introduce you to some good music.

[citizendetective]

That doesn't mean I know every eighties song-- wait, where do you want us to go?

[She slides off her stool, testing out one wobbly step.]