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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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Comments

[brushoff]

You know, I'm honestly a little surprise that you're so...new to this. You're older than I am!

[riseunparalleled]

When I was young, there was a certain pressure on me to get married [to a woman]. I wasn't interested so dedicated myself to other paths. And then I spent a long time in situations where it would've been unfair to really ever consider it.

[brushoff]

'Unfair' how?

[riseunparalleled]

I was always traveling, never had a place to stay or anything to give.

[brushoff]

Some people wouldn't mind that—not if they could travel with you.

[riseunparalleled]

Ah, well, the problem there is survival.

[brushoff]

People are more durable than you realize. They'd keep up. Crozier certainly can.

[riseunparalleled]

Not theirs, mostly. Mine. People generally got uncomfortable when I died in front of them, and I couldn't exactly explain.

[brushoff]

Oh.

[ pause ]

Yeeeeeah, I can see that. I lost a boyfriend that way. Died via mustard gas, popped in to see him a few years later, poor man almost lost his shit.

[riseunparalleled]

[He nods.]

Once someone has seen you crack your head open on rocks, or be crushed by a horse or stabbed in a tiger pit... they can get unsettled if you get up. Which is reasonable, especially considering the not uncommon troubles with ghosts, monsters and demons.

Luckily, I'm pretty good at playing dead. One time I was moving a little too much after falling off a cliff, so the people I'd been traveling with ended up dropping a number of rocks on me...

[brushoff]

On the other hand, if it's someone who you dislike who's shot you, stabbed you, or set you on fire, your charred, bloody corpse slowly getting back to it's feet and walking over to them can be fucking terrifying.

I've taken advantage of that to unsettle a few of my enemies.

[riseunparalleled]

Oh, that’s true. Though not something I need often. [His enemies are usually dead before he could get around to seeing their faces.]

It’s usually the wonders of nature and accidents that get me.

[brushoff]

I wish mine were the wonders of nature, [ Dorian grumbles. ] Mine is usually some sort of nasty horror movie monster or a psycho with a gun.

[riseunparalleled]

I've seen many astonishing things after falling into a mountain crevice. [And he means it, too.] I hadn't seen a gun until I arrived here.

[brushoff]

Oooh, that means you might get your first death by gunshot wound on the Barge! [ Dorian's voice is just BRIMMING WITH SARCASM as he teases, ] Lucky you.

[riseunparalleled]

[Xie Lian nods, expression serious in the way that it can get when he's teasing.] I might have the fortune to keep expanding my list of new experiences the Barge has given me. Not everyone gets the chance to claim that.

[brushoff]

Pity that all these new experiences would range from 'awful' to 'fucking terrible.'

[riseunparalleled]

Oh, not all of them are so bad. I've yet to have an experience here that's worse than something back home! Not to say there isn't still time.

[brushoff]

Yeah, I got eaten by a dinosaur, [ Dorian shrugs. ] Your horrible day will come sooner rather than later.

[riseunparalleled]

At least that's interesting. [He laughs.] It's good to have something to look forward to.

[brushoff]

Interesting is a very...diplomatic way of putting it.

[riseunparalleled]

There are so many dull ways to die! 'Interesting' doesn't make it better, but at least it stands out. And it can mean you're less likely to run into things that remind you of it!

[brushoff]

True! I can safely say that none of my other deaths have been remotely the same as my death via dinosaur.

[riseunparalleled]

See? Interesting.

Much like luck, qualifying adjectives can do a lot...

[brushoff]

I still think 'interesting' has too positive a connotation to be used when talking about all the lovely ways you bit it.