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"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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Darling, everyone deserves better than me.

At least you realize it.

I realize it and then some. I am well aware I'm my own worst enemy.

You're a warden. Aren't you supposed to stop?

I never said I was a good warden.

I don't think you have the first idea of what he means to me, Dorian.

Then tell me. What does he mean to you?

Why should I tell you? Why do you deserve to know, Dorian?

I don't deserve to know anything. But don't you want to tell me? After all, I belittled your relationship. I obviously don't know how close you are. Wouldn't you want to prove me wrong?

You think that's what this is about?

[The temptation is there, of course. It's even strong. But, for once, it's not the main factor.]

Partially. Care to prove me wrong?

How could I do that?

Tell me the reason why we're having this conversation. Tell me precisely what Pagan means to you. And then tell me if he means those things to you because he's him or because he's your warden.

Nobody has ever tried to understand me like he does. Nobody has ever really cared about me or wanted to be around me like he does.

He deserves better.

There's over thirty people on the Barge. If you feel none of the thirty people want to be around you or care about you, then maybe the problem isn't the thirty people.

You'll notice I didn't say it was.

Self-reflection! I've got to admit, I didn't expect it.

It doesn't change anything I said, Dorian.

And I think you've made your point. So if you don't have anything else to say aside from the fact that I'm a shitty warden and a shitty friend and Pagan doesn't deserve my affection, why not focus on actually recovering from dying instead of yelling at people over the comms?

Did I make my point? Do you believe me?

... And did you give Natalie any drugs after?

No drugs. I gave her some tequila, but cut her off before she got to blackout levels.

... Okay.

You didn't answer my other questions.

You'll have to remind me what they were again.

[ he is being a shit for the sake of being a shit. ]

You wanted me to convince you that Pagan actually matters to me. Did it work.

I do think that Pagan matters to you. Jury's out on whether he matters to you as Pagan or whether he matters to you because he's your warden.

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