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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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[citizendetective]

This happens at home, too. Without the environmental excuse.

[brushoff]

You'll have to be a teensy bit more specific as I'm having a teensy bit more wine. [ Time to top off the glasses, baby! ] What happens at home, too? Conversations where it all goes to shit?

[citizendetective]

Right. People disliking me on sight and being hostile for no reason, people being unfriendly, people making it very clear that they have no interest in being my friend or getting to know me...

[She shrugs, going for something that looks careless and unbothered.]

It's pretty much business as usual.

[brushoff]

[ That sounds entirely like a you problem, Dorian thinks but doesn't say. Trust me there is entirely a reason people are hostile to you, he thinks but doesn't say.

Instead, he takes a sip of the wine before musing, ]

If it happens enough, then there should be a cause. Twice is a coincidence, three or more times means there's a cause behind it.

[citizendetective]

Of course there is, Dorian. Most people are cruel by nature - or at least self-interested. They're nice to people when they can get something out of it. And most of the time, they don't think that I have anything of value to give them in exchange.

[brushoff]

In that case, it's good that you're on a prison Barge with a high concentration of altruistic idiots. Only a few wardens fit the cruel and self-interested category—myself included, of course.

[citizendetective]

Sure.

[She says, without enthusiasm.]

It's a little better here. Most of the wardens still treat me about the same.

[brushoff]

Do they treat you the same because everybody is a horrible shithead or do they treat you the same because you go into every conversation assuming everybody is a horrible shithead?

[citizendetective]

Oh, no, if I go into a conversation assuming we're going to get along, they make sure to make it clear that they have no interest in that and we're not going to be friends.

[Bitter? Never.]

[brushoff]

So it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, got it.

[citizendetective]

Dorian, I just said that it wasn't.

[brushoff]

And I'm saying that it probably is, you're just refusing to admit it. If the entire world is out to get you or reacts to you in the same way, then the problem isn't the entire world: it's you.

[citizendetective]

Then why did you ask, if you were only interested in dismissing me?

[brushoff]

Because I'm not only interested in dismissing you, [ he points out, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. ]

This conversation would have gone a different way if it didn't take a nosedive into the Misty Quigley persecution complex.

[citizendetective]

I do not have a-- how would it have gone, Dorian?

[brushoff]

One, you do so have a persecution complex. You need to have more self-confidence, darling. And two, we would have ended up just having a lovely evening with drinks, shooting the shit, and marginally less bitching.

[citizendetective]

Dorian.

[She tosses him an amused little look.]

Trust me, I have way better self-confidence than you.

[brushoff]

[ He raises a little eyebrow before saying, in a slightly mean Misty impression, ]

Hi, my name's Misty Quigley, I'm scared that when more people learn about our secrets it'll ruin what I have with my girlfriend and she won't like me anymore.

[citizendetective]

[Okay, first of all, rude. And second of all--]

That has nothing to do with my self-confidence.

[brushoff]

[ Dorian adjusts his Misty impression, this time making it a bit less squeaky. ]

Hi, my name's Misty Quigley with better self-confidence. I've realized that it doesn't matter who learns about my secrets because I know myself and I know Natalie and the rest of the Barge learning about our fucked up plane crash or whatever it is doesn't matter. We look out for each other, she trusts me, I trust her, and nothing anybody says or does could change it.

[citizendetective]

That's not self-confidence. That's confidence in other people.

[And oh boy, does she have very little of that.]

[brushoff]

It's both. Confidence in others that they won't think less of you, and confidence in yourself that if they do get a little stupid about it and do attack you for it, you can weather the storm.

[citizendetective]

Dorian!

[This time she laughs, tense and forced-sounding.]

You really don't know the first thing about me, do you! Wow.

I've been weathering that storm for my entire life. I am an expert at weathering that storm.

[brushoff]

An expert at weathering that storm because you had a cute little group to be a part of. [ at least, that's what he's assuming based on Misty 'I started this conversation talking about how I want a really intense friends group' Quigley. ]

How many of you survived that plane crash back home? At least two, probably more? Certainly more than your cute little group here of Natalie, Pagan, you, and me—and even then, your cute little group here is rocky at best.

[citizendetective]

[God, Dorian. Are you going to make her say out loud the thing she doesn't even like thinking about too hard? Extremely rude.

Or she could lie. She could tell him that he's right, that they're all so close-knit, that they all definitely love talking to her and keeping in close contact.

She doesn't answer, not immediately, but the indecision plays out across her face.]