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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

voice, video, text, action

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voice

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

You wouldn't be willing to help me throw my warden over the railing, would you? I ask entirely hypothetically, of course.

voice

[brushoff]

Oh Lord. What's Movie Night done now?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ elias allows himself a small shudder at the thought of movie night ]

He's incapable of saying anything without making at least one inane pop culture reference. And thanks to my patron, every time he does so I am suddenly fully aware of the reference, its context, and anything else I need to know to understand it.

I haven't throttled him yet, but it's a near thing.

[brushoff]

You know, I wonder if he realizes that people might end up hating him for that. We're not all twentieth century here. Do any of the Terror boys have a damn clue what that man is saying?

If he gets someone that isn't a white guy who watches a lot of films for an inmate, he's fucked.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ see? Dorian? this is why you're the only tolerable person on the ship. ]

Or we could accidentally tip him over the side and enjoy a week's peace. I'm sure the admiral would count it as a good deed.

[brushoff]

I'm fairly certain that punting an annoyance into space is grounds for demotion.

The next time he does this, reference shit he doesn't know at him. There is no goddamn way that man reads, toss some poetry his way.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I've tried. Believe me, I have tried. The man is simply obtuse.

[brushoff]

In that case, you should come over to mine for a drink. Will that solve your problem? No. But will you not think for a few moments? Yes. And honestly, you need to not think for a bit.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Only if you swear not to reference any kind of media which involves a children's card card.

[brushoff]

All the media I'll reference is embarrassingly pretentious or embarrassingly dated. [ There's a pause before he admits, ] I can't fully deny my tendencies towards terrible nicknames—were you here when Thorn Birds was around? And by Thorn Birds, I mean hot vampire priest. But I'm restrained enough not to mention them in every sentence.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I'm aware of hot vampires and hot priests on board. I don't think I met the hot vampire one.

But more importantly-- you won't help me throw Eiffel overboard and you have tendencies towards terrible nicknames? Remind me why I associate with you again.

[ he's already on his way to dorian's cabin ]

[brushoff]

I'm cute? And smart. And always up for hearing you bitch about everybody else here.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I do not bitch about anyone.

[ hdu ]

[brushoff]

You're bitching about your warden right now.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I'm airing a very legitimate grievance.

[brushoff]

Via bitching. There's no shame in that! Just let your annoyances out.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I'd rather do something productive.

[ a pause, then-- ]

Would you like me to pick up anything else with your gin? I've made a stop at the bar.

[brushoff]

[ A pause as Dorian thinks things over. ]

Pick up mixers for your favorite cocktail. I want to see what you like.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

And what do you hope to discover, my dear?

[brushoff]

More about your tastes. More about what you like. Just more about you in general.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Dangerous, wanting to know more about an avatar of a fear entity who feeds on the horror of Knowing.

[brushoff]

Fortunately I'm a man who's immune to most danger. Thank you, immortality.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

And a man who can be an eternal source of fear, in the right circumstances. Do try to be a little careful, Dorian.

[ there is, despite himself, something fond in his tone. it's gone the next second ]

Well. I think I have everything I need. I'll see you shortly.

[brushoff]

[ Yeah, he spotted the fondness. You liiiiike him, Elias.

Which is good. Because Dorian's not entirely sure if Elias has any actual friends, just people he'll use and spit out on a moment's notice. And he knows how having just one person in your camp could make or break a few things. ]

See you in a few!

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ and it's a few minutes until there's a knock at the door.

elias also tries the handle, just to see if it will open for him, but he'll wait to enter until he hears from Dorian. ]