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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Everything I do is for nefarious purposes, dear, do keep up.

But I also find it less depressing to drink with someone else around. And after an hour or so there'll be something pleasant to eat, and if you're feeling up to it you could fuck me while it's in the oven, or when it's out.

Or both, even.

[brushoff]

[ Dorian lets out a tired little chuckle before, ] Then get over here so I can make you something not gin based and fuck you against the kitchen table.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

That sounds like a fine way to pass the time.

[ and about ten minutes later he's letting himself in, a bag of ingredients on one arm. ]

[brushoff]

[ Dorian's pushing the door open and helping Elias carry whatever he needs to in the kitchen. ]

Fair warning, I am absolutely rubbish at making sure my kitchen is stocked with the essentials. We might need to nip down to Inventory if I don't have something. But what are you cooking today, Julia Child?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ Elias doesn't need to see in Dorian's head to guess at the state of his kitchen, so he's made sure to bring anything he might need. ]

Nothing overly complicated; just some scones. Very hands on, in case you'd like to help with the kneading.

[brushoff]

My weak little rich boy muscles can handle kneading, [ Dorian teases. ] Just tell me what to do and I'll do it.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I have a fair enough sense of just what your hands are capable of.

[ elias is unpacking, laying out what he need on the bench before proceeding to put on an apron to keep his clothes clean. ]

Why don't you start with making us something to drink.

[brushoff]

Of course, [ Dorian nods. He heads towards the bar area of his kitchen as he asks, ]

What do you want?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Dealer's choice.

[ elias seems quite content laying everything out in place across dorian's bench. he's sure others have asked dorian how he's doing and other such questions, so he won't.

but he still wants to ask. he wants to Know. ]

[brushoff]

Whiskey it is, [ he says, with a little nod. ] I'm feeling an Old Fashioned tonight.

[ Wanna know how Dorian is? Use your big boy words, Elias. Because at the moment, Dorian is headed right to the bar area of his kitchen, rummaging around for the materials. ]

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ elias takes care in rolling up his shirtsleeves and gets started on measuring out the ingredients.

his lips are pressed into a firm line, feeling a stirring of hunger to Know just how things are with Dorian. it would have been so easy, before. he could just have Seen it.

asking isn't as easy. ]

The thought occurred to me earlier that I'd like to have seen what Sephiroth was capable of in his own world. He doesn't strike me as the type to be so arrogant without cause.

[brushoff]

[ Dorian pauses the conversation for a minute as he starts to stir his cocktail. It's not as loud as it would be with shaking, but it's loud enough that he doesn't want to talk over it. ]

If I find out what he's like, I'll tell you. Our beloved Archivist dragged me into a...I don't want to say 'project' involving Sephiroth. More like a 'co-parenting.'

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ elias' hands are busy in the silence, but he looks up in surprise at co-parenting ]

I can't imagine that was a pleasant to agree to.

[brushoff]

It was annoying, [ Dorian admits, with a little shrug. ] But I suppose I'll do it. I'm a sap and a sucker in that regard.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

He is quite handsome, in his own way.

[ elias doesn't think that's the regard dorian means ]

[brushoff]

[ Dorian shrugs! ]

Handsome, maybe. But he's not my type.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Unable to leave people who've murdered your inmates alone?

[ ]

[brushoff]

He's not fun. I don't mind egomaniacs. And I don't mind lunatics. But they need to command me attention. And so far, Sephiroth has been failing at that.

........ i just didn't finish that last tag oh god

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

He's rather singularly focused on this Cloud. You could ask Zack how he dresses, see if that warms him up to you.

lmaoooo

[brushoff]

If I'm going to play dress-up, I'd rather it be a bit more kinky. Naughty schoolboy or sexy police officer or something along those lines.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

There are surely such things as sexy clouds.

[brushoff]

There's sexy everything. As long as there are university girls willing to dress like a slut during Halloween, there will be sexy Halloween costumes.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Then I hope to see you doing your slutty varsity best to give Sephiroth what he wants.

[brushoff]

[ he gives Elias a saucy wink ]

Though really, I'm saving my nonexistent cherry for one troublesome inmate—and it's not him.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I'm sure Envy would put out after a nice dinner and a little romancing.

[ that's clearly who dorian is after ]