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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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[riseunparalleled]

That would be more straightforward... [Not going to touch on the question of whether he knows how.] It's - not something I can do.

[brushoff]

[ A pause as Dorian thinks things over. ]

So you have hangups over kissing. I know from experience that Crozier doesn't, so did you tell him this before or after he kissed you?

[riseunparalleled]

Nothing like that. [That's how people die. That is, they do sometimes manage communication.] When things, ah, started, we talked about... certain physical limits. But when we spoke, recently, he mentioned it.

It remains what it is. So asking him about it seems... [He waves his hand, unable to quite articulate that it feels like it would be unfair to Crozier.]

[brushoff]

[ Dorian feels a little bit like he's missing a step. He frowns, thinking, before asking, ]

So you mean actual limits, not things that you feel uncomfortable with. Right? Like, when Toby and I were together, I had to run all the daytime errands, those sorts of limits.

[ another pause before, ]

What even are they if kissing is off the table?

[riseunparalleled]

Things I can't do. [He's pretty sure that's what Dorian means by 'actual limits', but to be very clear.]

Holding hands is nice, as is embracing... [That basically covers it.]

[brushoff]

Well what would even happen if you kissed someone? Would it- [ goddammit, there is no way that this man would know Raiders of the Lost Ark, Dorian feels a slight sense of familiarity with Doug Eiffel as he realizes this ] -would it physically or mentally hurt them?

[riseunparalleled]

Not, hmm, inherently in the kiss. [In his response is a different matter.]

[brushoff]

[ Dorian makes an aggravated little sigh before pointing out, ]

Xie Lian, I adore your company, but sometimes getting a straight answer out of you is like pulling teeth.

If there is something you can't do, be upfront about it. Be blunt, don't dance around it. Tell Crozier outright that...I don't know, that your dick doesn't work or that you'll explode the man you love if you kiss him or whatever this is. Because if you aren't upfront about this things, he'll blame himself.

[riseunparalleled]

I did! [Not offended, mostly because he doesn't really get offended and he's also aware that it's not an unfair assumption, but it was one of the few things he's - almost - certain that he actually managed to lay out from the beginning. To try to make sure Crozier understood what he couldn't give him.]

But it's something he wants. I don't want to hurt him, so I don't want to suggest I don't believe him about the, ah, absence being fine. But I know sometimes he can have unreasonable self-blame fall on his shoulders. [...Thanks to Crozier having mentioned that in other situations.] And talking more about what he might want isn't something I'm sure I could do... well.

[brushoff]

[ Dorian thinks things over for a moment before asking, ]

Do you want to practice what you're going to say? If you're worried you can't do something well, then do a few practice runs before the thing.

[riseunparalleled]

I'm not sure where to start on what to say. [He rubs his neck.] I don't even know if I should say something...

[brushoff]

Oh you absolutely should say something, [ Dorian points out. ] Even if it's just 'I'm sorry I can't fill these needs, tell me what you like and we'll find the next best thing or something that works, I love you and want to make you happy.' That sort of conversation is a part of every relationship.

[riseunparalleled]

Mm. [Xie Lian pauses. Those are... definitely words. They sound like the right words, at that. He's less sure of his ability to say them. He imagines trying to say them specifically to Crozier, and it somehow manages to get worse.] Definitely something to say. [It's not that he doesn't want to, he asked for Dorian's help because he wants to be able to do something, but he has to admit to himself that he may have one or two hangups.]

[brushoff]

Look, [ Dorian sighs. ] I've got faith in you. If anyone can sort out this mess and get their shit in gear, it's you. You just need to stop being so in your own head. Say what you mean.

[riseunparalleled]

[Xie Lian sighs, too.] That's very kind of you to say. I've never been very good at that. I can fail a thousand times without stopping, but it's different when it can hurt someone else.

[brushoff]

Then stop worrying so much. You're your own worst enemy here, Xie Lian. Besides, every couple has their spats. What matters is how you manage them.

[riseunparalleled]

Do they? [Well, he trusts Dorian's experience, if not in his own ability not to be his worst enemy.] Though I don't think I'd call that part a spat...

[brushoff]

That is absolutely a spat, [ he points out. ] Unless, I don't know, you actually do break his arm or something. But you're far too cautious for that.

[riseunparalleled]

Isn't that a type of argument? [He spreads a hand, but not quite in disagreement.] I'm cautious for a reason.

[brushoff]

And I still say you should be less so. That's why we have these conversations in the first place: because you're so cautious and so wrapped up in your own head that you never make the big impulsive decisions that every relationship needs.

[riseunparalleled]

[Xie Lian counts these conversations as pretty big and impulsive, especially on his personal scale.] Perhaps. I can't say making big... moves in relationships has ended well for me before.

[brushoff]

Then you're overdue it actually ending well, [ Dorian points out, with a little shrug. ] That's another thing. If you worry and fret that this will end up poorly then guess what: it will end up poorly.

[riseunparalleled]

I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way. [That you can be overdue for something ending well; he doesn't disagree with how to make sure things end up poorly. He smiles at Dorian.] Thank you for your advice, both your words and your time are deeply appreciated.

[brushoff]

I've always got time for you, [ Dorian says with a smile and a small nod. ] Hell, next time my room will be back and we can have some tea.

[riseunparalleled]

That will be nice. It's good to have food, but I have missed tea. [A cup of tea might be the last step needed to feel properly settled again. He gives a more serious, if still gentle, look.] I hope you know the same is true of me. I might lack useful advice, in most regards, but I can always offer what I have.