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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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[citizendetective]

[Misty lets out a loud huff, downing the rest of her second glass in one fell swoop.]

No, Dorian, I didn't tell her. I also didn't interrogate him.

[brushoff]

Well there's problem number one right there.

[citizendetective]

[She clunks her glass down on the counter, crossing her arms over her chest.]

I don't need Natalie's permission to talk to people.

[brushoff]

But it would be courteous to give her a heads up if you're going to try and set boundaries that involve her.

[citizendetective]

Well, I didn't know I was going to have to be doing that at first.

[brushoff]

Then the moment you knew you were going to have to do it, that's when you should have put a pause on the conversation.

[citizendetective]

Well, I needed to take care of it in the moment. Things could have easily ballooned out of control if I hadn't.

[Misty, honey, they kind of did that anyway.]

[brushoff]

A part of me suspects it blew up anyway. Not due to you, of course, but because this ship is a goddamn bomb, perpetually waiting to go off.

[citizendetective]

[The muscles in her face twitch.]

Not due to me, you're right.

[brushoff]

[ Dorian rolls his eyes as he looks at Misty's face twitch. ]

I know you don't believe me, but it's true. Surely you've seen Big Brother or any sort of show like that. Shove twenty people in an enclosed space, where they're all in each other's business, no way to get the hell away from everybody? Conflicts will inevitably ensue.

[citizendetective]

I do believe you, but I don't think it's that. I think Arthur is just a grade-A a-hole.

[brushoff]

[ Dorian lets out a sharp laugh before, ]

Both can be true, of course.

[citizendetective]

This happens at home, too. Without the environmental excuse.

[brushoff]

You'll have to be a teensy bit more specific as I'm having a teensy bit more wine. [ Time to top off the glasses, baby! ] What happens at home, too? Conversations where it all goes to shit?

[citizendetective]

Right. People disliking me on sight and being hostile for no reason, people being unfriendly, people making it very clear that they have no interest in being my friend or getting to know me...

[She shrugs, going for something that looks careless and unbothered.]

It's pretty much business as usual.

[brushoff]

[ That sounds entirely like a you problem, Dorian thinks but doesn't say. Trust me there is entirely a reason people are hostile to you, he thinks but doesn't say.

Instead, he takes a sip of the wine before musing, ]

If it happens enough, then there should be a cause. Twice is a coincidence, three or more times means there's a cause behind it.

[citizendetective]

Of course there is, Dorian. Most people are cruel by nature - or at least self-interested. They're nice to people when they can get something out of it. And most of the time, they don't think that I have anything of value to give them in exchange.

[brushoff]

In that case, it's good that you're on a prison Barge with a high concentration of altruistic idiots. Only a few wardens fit the cruel and self-interested category—myself included, of course.

[citizendetective]

Sure.

[She says, without enthusiasm.]

It's a little better here. Most of the wardens still treat me about the same.

[brushoff]

Do they treat you the same because everybody is a horrible shithead or do they treat you the same because you go into every conversation assuming everybody is a horrible shithead?

[citizendetective]

Oh, no, if I go into a conversation assuming we're going to get along, they make sure to make it clear that they have no interest in that and we're not going to be friends.

[Bitter? Never.]

[brushoff]

So it is a self-fulfilling prophecy, got it.

[citizendetective]

Dorian, I just said that it wasn't.

[brushoff]

And I'm saying that it probably is, you're just refusing to admit it. If the entire world is out to get you or reacts to you in the same way, then the problem isn't the entire world: it's you.

[citizendetective]

Then why did you ask, if you were only interested in dismissing me?