[ Jon will nod, but he'll hold up a finger and gently reach over to tug Winifred away over to the den. He'll wait until she's circled around on the floor and one of the cats has wandered over before he turns back to Dorian.
And then it starts, the feeling, the sensation of eyes, so many eyes, like a crowd all around him, at every angle, watching and looking and drinking him in. Looking through him and past him, simultaneously focused on every feature and seeing past it to the man within.
Like the brush of eyelashes against his soul, so close there's almost no room to breathe, a dozen dozen eyes of all colors and shapes and intensities but all of them somehow Jon, in Jon, of Jon. And when he speaks, there's a certain depth to his voice, something gripping and thick like a syrup on the skin, that is at once thrilling and terrifying. ]
Dorian blinks slightly looking at Jon as his eyes widen, as he takes in every detail of the man. The thing about Dorian is that he's a paradox. He's got terrible self-image and terrible self-esteem but at the same time, he absolutely adores being looked at and being adored. And this? Whatever Jon's got going on right now? It's making his narcissism go into full gear. ]
Oh I love this, [ Dorian murmurs, letting out a small little laugh as he just indulges in the feeling of being watched. It's enticing. He loves it. ] How deep can you see?
You shouldn't. [ But even the wry tone doesn't quite take away from the tactile nature of his words right now, the warning like a finger up his spine as delicate as a feather. ] And all the way down, of course. Farther than you'd ever want. And farther than that.
[ And in this moment Dorian suddenly gets ASMR. Because this sensation, the tingles on the back of his spine and down his neck...he can indulge in this forever. ]
I do a lot of things I shouldn't, [ he murmurs, absolutely enthralled by Jon in this current state. ] Go deeper.
[ His power wouldn't be quite so much trouble if it didn't ache to be used, want him to do just that, feel good when he invades someone's mind and heart and soul and learns more about them. There's a part of this that feels intensely sensual and then past that, almost invasively sexual, as he strips Dorian down: his skin, his bones, sensations and flesh and all the things that are none of those things, that only exist because of firings in the meat he keeps within his skull, peering into every crevice, every hollow, into the spaces between the fibers of his being. If it was the flutter of eyelashes before, now it is touch, slow and thorough and examining every inch of him, endlessly fascinated.
And the strange, predatory urge behind it that is Jon and is not Jon, that is Archivist and Gateway and terror, that is him and not him, that sees his fears and his hopes and his dreams, his weakness and his pain and every moment he spends overwhelmed and terrified and when Jon speaks again, there is the feeling that he could devour him, every bit of him, whole just like that. ]
[ There's Dorian Gray at 10, a small shy child who's hearing that his mother is going to go away and trying not to cry. There's Dorian Gray the collection of atoms. There's Dorian Gray meeting Tobias Matthews for the first time, kissing him, watching his ashes vanish in the sunrise, placing a key into the palm of his hand, looking up as the man's hands wrap around his neck. There's Dorian Gray, the soulless being, the perfect simulacrum...until there's Dorian Gray with a soul, a shiny and unused thing. There's Dorian Gray kissing Francis Crozier, Oscar Wilde, Pagan Min, Natalie Isaacs, John Pruitt, the Archivist himself, a heady mix of encounters that have actually happened and those that Dorian could only dream about. There's Dorian Gray watching a man drown, approaching a woman with an axe, stepping into a burning building, wrapping his hands around John Seed's neck...
And there is so much terror. Dorian looking down a large fleshy thing, Dorian watching his flesh mottle with age, Dorian in a subway car filled with blood, Dorian seeing the faces of those he cares about as he climbs over the railing of a balcony. And at his core, there's Dorian Gray scared. Horrified. Dorian Gray who knows he's a monster, who knows he doesn't deserve to be loved, who hates himself so much that he can't believe a moment of true happiness when he finds it. Who knows he deserves to be left alone and who's petrified of it happening again.
It's at that point, when Jon touches something that's so innate to Dorian, that's at the core of his very being, that Dorian makes a small little gasp of acknowledgment. No words. Just a small, tiny little noise at Jon seeing something that he might not have wanted the man to see. ]
[ And when he sees that, oh, the Archivist drinks it in. But then there's Jon, there's Jon himself, Jonathan Sims, Jonathan 'I could do drugs' Sims, a rabid and half-mad alleycat who has been savaged by a baker's dozen and more horrors and somehow is still walking. And Jon is the one who says, in a voice that's utterly mundane, almost painfully mundane- ]
Oh, fuck that entirely.
[ Before he steps forward and leans in to give Dorian a soft kiss as his hands move to grip either arm. No, no, no. Whatever confusion Jon has, it is not whether he loves Dorian. Because he does. ]
Dorian makes a moan of pleasure, kissing into Jon's mouth, as the worries, the fears, all those start to fall away in the face of sheer pleasure. Because this is pleasure. He enjoys the feel of Jon's lips against his, of the man's hands on his arms. He can get used to this.
Dorian closes his eyes as he softly kisses back, enjoying in the sheer pleasure of it. Jon's going to have to be the one to stop this because when Dorian moves back to breathe, he immediately goes in for round two. ]
[ Jon... has no intention of stopping it, not when it's so clear that Dorian needs it, that Dorian is diving for it and away from the sadness, the loneliness, of that truth from earlier. Jon will never forget it, which is why he grips just a little tight, pulls him closer, and keeps kissing him.
He doesn't think he needs to breathe. That's good to know. ]
[ Dorian continues kissing back, just as fierce, just as passionate as before. And as he does so, his hands reach down to try and get Jon's trousers unbuttoned.
No, that way leads to a bad time for everyone. He knows very well that's the case. Which is why he's going to slide his hands between Dorian's and lift them carefully to his own. And start unbuttoning Dorian's trousers instead. ]
[ Moving is...odd. Dorian's legs feel like jelly, like he's relearning each nerve ending in the legs to begin with. Is this what being with Jon is like? It's intoxicating. Dorian lets himself get dragged along, laughing slightly as he does so. ]
[ Jon isn't physically strong, but he's also still a grown adult man and that does at least afford him enough to tug Dorian along down the hallway and get him lightly shoved onto the bed. Jon had kicked the door closed so he doesn't need to worry about anything as he goes back to Dorian's trousers to get them undone, perhaps surprisingly comfortable with the whole thing as he leans up to take his Dorian's lips in a kiss again.
The feeling of those eyes has lowered a little in intensity but they're still there. Jon isn't hiding any of himself right now, and all of him is focused on Dorian. Soon enough on Dorian's pleasure. ]
Have you thought about me doing this before?
[ And it's a very different tone from Jon's usual. There's something playful, yes, but also a hint of that deeper, smoother voice. Sensual and tactile in a way he usually isn't. ]
Of you fucking me? Yes, [ Dorian smiles. Because he has. He's dreamed of this, of feeling Jon's hands on him, of seeing Jon shirtless, of looking at him and taking in his entire everything, of seeing what Jon looks like on top of him. ]
I've dreamed of it time and time again. I'll be happy to see what it's actually like.
[ That... wasn't what he'd planned on, not only because he's not sure how possible it is but because it isn't how he usually proceeds. For now, though, he's focused on what he intends. Which is to get Dorian naked from the waste down so that he can focus on what he is good at.
His hands are sure and steady and solid enough, and by the time he's pushing Dorian's clothing to the floor, he's aiming to have his mouth on Dorian's jawline to, teeth and tongue and unending attention. ]
When Jon has his mouth on Dorian's jawline, disorganized l Dorian tilts his head to the side. It's partly for easier access, partly to show Jon his neck. Kiss there next, please!
His hands go to Jon's back, fingernails digging in as he feels his own clothes slip away. ]
[ His neck was the next intended destination, and he isn't shy: nips and suction and the occasional harder bite in between kisses and brushes of lips. All of it is terribly expressive, an adoration for Dorian in every movement even as his hands separate in task: one to close smoothly around his length as he begins to stroke and the other around to grab at his ass and give it a firm squeeze. ]
[ Dorian lets out a happy little moan of pleasure as he feels Jon's hand around his prick. He leans in, small grin on his face as he just drinks all of this in. ]
You're wonderful, [ Dorian laughs. ] You wonderful, amazing man. You make me feel—ahhh fuck, I haven't felt this good in a while.
[ The happy moan from Dorian, the laughter... Jon's delight comes straight from those, and he'll do what he can to get Dorian's top half as unclothed as the bottom so he can start kissing his way down. Shoulders, along the clavicle, down the chest. He might test to see if his nipples are sensitive at all, flick his tongue on one, run his teeth across them. And while he does, that hand will keep stroking. It might even wander down to play with his sac. Unlike usually?
[ Dorian's prick stiffens under Jon's grasp. This feels fucking phenomenal. He can feel himself start to stiffen, start to firm up. He's so close to release—and evry time Jon touches his nipple, he moves closer to it. ]
I'm going to cum soon, [ he groans. ] You're going to make me cum.
[ He can't quite help himself, but the words are kept smooth and low and pitched to slide across the skin as much as anything else. ]
That is the objective at the moment, Dorian.
[ Dorian seems particularly sensitive there, so he'll take the time to give those nipples their due attention, and he'll let his fingers slip back up to circle around his prick. He'll grip a little more firmly before he starts a good steady stroke in time with the lap of his tongue against one hard nub. ]
[ Nope, there we go. Dorian lets out a groan of pleasure as he feels himself release, spilling all over Jon's hand. He looks over at the man with an absolutely besotted smile as he gives Jon a wide grin. ]
[ Jon will take the time to work him down gently with a rather wry smile on his face. ]
Well, I am glad to hear I haven't gone rusty.
[ And he'll give Dorian one more kiss before lifting his hand to his mouth to lick it clean. It's equal parts fastidiousness and curiosity, a way to taste another part of him, to experience him differently, and Jon's bright eyes show all of that as he makes quick work of it. ]
Now, may I-
[ It's clear he intends to slip down and clean Dorian up essentially the same way. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: audio
And then it starts, the feeling, the sensation of eyes, so many eyes, like a crowd all around him, at every angle, watching and looking and drinking him in. Looking through him and past him, simultaneously focused on every feature and seeing past it to the man within.
Like the brush of eyelashes against his soul, so close there's almost no room to breathe, a dozen dozen eyes of all colors and shapes and intensities but all of them somehow Jon, in Jon, of Jon. And when he speaks, there's a certain depth to his voice, something gripping and thick like a syrup on the skin, that is at once thrilling and terrifying. ]
It's worse when I'm hungry.
Re: audio
Oh hell.
That's intoxicating.
Dorian blinks slightly looking at Jon as his eyes widen, as he takes in every detail of the man. The thing about Dorian is that he's a paradox. He's got terrible self-image and terrible self-esteem but at the same time, he absolutely adores being looked at and being adored. And this? Whatever Jon's got going on right now? It's making his narcissism go into full gear. ]
Oh I love this, [ Dorian murmurs, letting out a small little laugh as he just indulges in the feeling of being watched. It's enticing. He loves it. ] How deep can you see?
Re: audio
Re: audio
I do a lot of things I shouldn't, [ he murmurs, absolutely enthralled by Jon in this current state. ] Go deeper.
Re: audio
And the strange, predatory urge behind it that is Jon and is not Jon, that is Archivist and Gateway and terror, that is him and not him, that sees his fears and his hopes and his dreams, his weakness and his pain and every moment he spends overwhelmed and terrified and when Jon speaks again, there is the feeling that he could devour him, every bit of him, whole just like that. ]
I can't forget any of this, Dorian.
[ All he can do like this is take. ]
Re: audio
And there is so much terror. Dorian looking down a large fleshy thing, Dorian watching his flesh mottle with age, Dorian in a subway car filled with blood, Dorian seeing the faces of those he cares about as he climbs over the railing of a balcony. And at his core, there's Dorian Gray scared. Horrified. Dorian Gray who knows he's a monster, who knows he doesn't deserve to be loved, who hates himself so much that he can't believe a moment of true happiness when he finds it. Who knows he deserves to be left alone and who's petrified of it happening again.
It's at that point, when Jon touches something that's so innate to Dorian, that's at the core of his very being, that Dorian makes a small little gasp of acknowledgment. No words. Just a small, tiny little noise at Jon seeing something that he might not have wanted the man to see. ]
Re: audio
Oh, fuck that entirely.
[ Before he steps forward and leans in to give Dorian a soft kiss as his hands move to grip either arm. No, no, no. Whatever confusion Jon has, it is not whether he loves Dorian. Because he does. ]
Re: audio
Dorian makes a moan of pleasure, kissing into Jon's mouth, as the worries, the fears, all those start to fall away in the face of sheer pleasure. Because this is pleasure. He enjoys the feel of Jon's lips against his, of the man's hands on his arms. He can get used to this.
Dorian closes his eyes as he softly kisses back, enjoying in the sheer pleasure of it. Jon's going to have to be the one to stop this because when Dorian moves back to breathe, he immediately goes in for round two. ]
Re: audio
He doesn't think he needs to breathe. That's good to know. ]
Re: audio
Sorry, buddy. He's in the moment right now. ]
Re: audio
No, that way leads to a bad time for everyone. He knows very well that's the case. Which is why he's going to slide his hands between Dorian's and lift them carefully to his own. And start unbuttoning Dorian's trousers instead. ]
Let me?
Re: audio
Absolutely. If you want to, then do it.
Re: audio
Bedroom. If you please. Come along.
[ And he isn't letting go of him. ]
Re: audio
[ Moving is...odd. Dorian's legs feel like jelly, like he's relearning each nerve ending in the legs to begin with. Is this what being with Jon is like? It's intoxicating. Dorian lets himself get dragged along, laughing slightly as he does so. ]
Re: audio
The feeling of those eyes has lowered a little in intensity but they're still there. Jon isn't hiding any of himself right now, and all of him is focused on Dorian. Soon enough on Dorian's pleasure. ]
Have you thought about me doing this before?
[ And it's a very different tone from Jon's usual. There's something playful, yes, but also a hint of that deeper, smoother voice. Sensual and tactile in a way he usually isn't. ]
Re: audio
I've dreamed of it time and time again. I'll be happy to see what it's actually like.
Re: audio
His hands are sure and steady and solid enough, and by the time he's pushing Dorian's clothing to the floor, he's aiming to have his mouth on Dorian's jawline to, teeth and tongue and unending attention. ]
Re: audio
When Jon has his mouth on Dorian's jawline, disorganized l Dorian tilts his head to the side. It's partly for easier access, partly to show Jon his neck. Kiss there next, please!
His hands go to Jon's back, fingernails digging in as he feels his own clothes slip away. ]
NSFW moving forward
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You're wonderful, [ Dorian laughs. ] You wonderful, amazing man. You make me feel—ahhh fuck, I haven't felt this good in a while.
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He doesn't have much to say. He's busy.]
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I'm going to cum soon, [ he groans. ] You're going to make me cum.
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That is the objective at the moment, Dorian.
[ Dorian seems particularly sensitive there, so he'll take the time to give those nipples their due attention, and he'll let his fingers slip back up to circle around his prick. He'll grip a little more firmly before he starts a good steady stroke in time with the lap of his tongue against one hard nub. ]
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[ Nope, there we go. Dorian lets out a groan of pleasure as he feels himself release, spilling all over Jon's hand. He looks over at the man with an absolutely besotted smile as he gives Jon a wide grin. ]
Now that? That was fucking phenomenal.
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Well, I am glad to hear I haven't gone rusty.
[ And he'll give Dorian one more kiss before lifting his hand to his mouth to lick it clean. It's equal parts fastidiousness and curiosity, a way to taste another part of him, to experience him differently, and Jon's bright eyes show all of that as he makes quick work of it. ]
Now, may I-
[ It's clear he intends to slip down and clean Dorian up essentially the same way. ]
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cw suicidal ideation mention
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