One, I'm going to trust you on that keeping secrets bit. Who knows, maybe I might tell you a secret of my own that you wouldn't share with anybody. Two, why the hell would you want to punish Pagan in the first place? And three, if people assume that you don't care, then maybe try working on having them realize you do care?
[Well, that's a lot to cover. She hesitates, thinking, and then decides to go with the question that sounds both the most important and the least rhetorical.]
I wanted to punish Pagan because I was mad at him - at the time. We don't always get along.
Well there's your problem right there. Acting impulsively doesn't give you results. If you truly want to make someone hurt, that's when the planning kicks in.
[Misty swirls a finger around the inside edge of her glass, nodding.]
That's it, isn't it. A few people have tried to talk to me about learning how to resist the urge to kill and hurt, but they're missing the point. I've never had uncontrollable urges like that. I'm not bloodthirsty.
But if I think it's necessary, or they deserve it, and I don't want to try not to...
Anyone who tries to talk to you about resisting the urge to hurt really needs to look at half of the Barge.
[ Does Misty probably need to learn not to immediately go into attack dog mode if someone's a dick to Natalie? Yes. Can Dorian think of at least three people off the top of his head who need that 'don't hurt people' lesson more than she does? Absolutely yes. ]
But I've got a hundred years' experience of breaking things. If you think they deserve it, it's just so damn easy to come up with a justification.
[ Dorian lets out a little murmur of agreement. Because it does. Like, there's no way around it, the well-deserved murder of someone who's hurt you feels fucking wonderful. ]
If you were planning anything, I wouldn't rat you out to begin with, [ Dorian shrugs. ]
And I'm not faking sympathy. I'm just suddenly aware that there was a big mess between at least four, possibly five people and I like being aware of the gossip.
Considering this is about bond which, let me remind you, also involves Natalie, it absolutely is about her. Did you tell her what you were going to do before you decided to interrogate her new warden's plus one?
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I wanted to punish Pagan because I was mad at him - at the time. We don't always get along.
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What I don't get is why you didn't come up with a way where you could punish him that didn't involve also making it everybody's business.
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I don't want to do that to Pagan.
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I'm glad to hear that, [ he quietly admits. ] It's easy to hurt people but harder to try not to.
[ And in his mind? Pagan doesn't deserve to be hurt. ]
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That's it, isn't it. A few people have tried to talk to me about learning how to resist the urge to kill and hurt, but they're missing the point. I've never had uncontrollable urges like that. I'm not bloodthirsty.
But if I think it's necessary, or they deserve it, and I don't want to try not to...
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[ Does Misty probably need to learn not to immediately go into attack dog mode if someone's a dick to Natalie? Yes. Can Dorian think of at least three people off the top of his head who need that 'don't hurt people' lesson more than she does? Absolutely yes. ]
But I've got a hundred years' experience of breaking things. If you think they deserve it, it's just so damn easy to come up with a justification.
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[She closes her eyes for a moment, conjuring up the ghost of the feeling.]
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Who was the last person who you felt deserved it?
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[She says immediately and with conviction, before giving Dorian a shrewd look.]
But if you're faking sympathy to get me to give you details of whatever I'm planning, you don't have to worry. I'm not planning anything.
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And I'm not faking sympathy. I'm just suddenly aware that there was a big mess between at least four, possibly five people and I like being aware of the gossip.
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No, Dorian, I didn't tell her. I also didn't interrogate him.
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I don't need Natalie's permission to talk to people.
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