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[brushoff]

"You've reached the inbox of one Dorian Gray. Don't forget to leave me a message. If you're interesting, I'll get back to you."

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[brushoff]

Door's open! [ Dorian calls out. His door opens up to a small hallway. There's a locked attic hatch in the ceiling, a bathroom directly across from the door, a closed door to the right of Misty, and an open door to the left, leading into a kitchen and dining area. That's where Dorian is. ]

Get in here—I've already made us martinis.

[citizendetective]

Warden cabins are always so fancy.

[She comments, hearing him call from the kitchen but electing instead to wander off to the right, testing the handle of that closed door.]

Do you make your martinis dry or sweet?

[brushoff]

Dry. Gin, not vodka. But if you want something with vodka, I can make it later.

[citizendetective]

How much are you planning on drinking...?

[If the door doesn't open, she'll move on, and if it does, she'll poke her head in briefly and then move on; her main interest here is really only in seeing how big the cabin is. Either way, she'll pop into the kitchen momentarily.]

[brushoff]

[ The door indeed doesn't open. Sorry Misty, he's locked it! The bathroom, however, is unlocked! It's very plush with a claw-foot bathtub and a shitton of bath products sitting on the floor next to the tub. ]

Oh, I'm planning on getting shitfaced. After all, it's what Pagan and I would do. Surely you'll join me?

[citizendetective]

I'm kind of a lightweight, I'm usually more of a wine-drinker, but... we'll see! When I drink with you and Pagan--

[When. Not if.]

-- you're going to need a sober person in the room, right?

[brushoff]

Absolutely not! [ Dorian says, with a winning smile on his face. ] When we all get drunk together, we're all getting smashed.

[citizendetective]

[Despite herself, she smiles a little bit at that idea, adjusting her glasses on her face as she sits down.]

Well-- I can do that; I've done it before.

[Which she sounds excessively proud to admit to, despite the fact that it's a fairly basic life experience and she's forty goddamn years old.]

But I'm surprised to hear wardens encouraging this behavior in inmates! Shouldn't you be worried about me picking up bad habits?

[brushoff]

Didn't you hear? [ Dorian teases, as he slides the martini towards Misty. ] I'm a terrible influence. Comes with the territory and all.

[ And Dorian raises his glass as he takes a large drink of his martini. Somebody did not skimp on the alcohol. ]

[citizendetective]

What territory? Not wardening.

[She takes an experimental sip of hers, muttering to herself under her breath:]

Wow, this is strong.

[brushoff]

The territory of debauchery. After all, I am Dorian Gray—and all that it entails.

[citizendetective]

I did think that name was a little, uh, on the nose. I'm assuming it's an alias...?

[brushoff]

What? Oh, no, I'm actually that Dorian Gray. Portrait in the attic and everything.

[ Said attic that was definitely locked ]

[citizendetective]

[Wh...at. What. She glances down at the martini she's been plugging away at, as if it might be the cause of this insanity she's hearing.]

You're messing with me.

[brushoff]

Ohhh you are going to need a lot more alcohol, [ Dorian sighs, as he takes another drink of his martini. ]

Pick your poison next. Because no, I'm not messing with you.

[citizendetective]

I just-- different worlds, okay, but you're saying you're from a book.

Um, what else do you have?

[brushoff]

I'm not from a book. The book was written about me. A small difference, but a critical one—and yes, this means I've met Oscar Wilde.

As for alcohol, there's gin, vodka, whiskey, and a wide variety of mixers. No schnapps, though. I've got taste.

[citizendetective]

Okay, but in my world, that book is fiction-- and hey, schnapps are good.

[brushoff]

You think the book is fiction. How do you know for certain?

[citizendetective]

In a place like this, you could say that about anything.

[brushoff]

Then let me amend my question. How do you know the book is fiction back in your world? Do you have interviews with Oscar? The man could have lied. Is it simply because people have called it fiction? Give it long enough and all religious texts fall into that category as well.

[citizendetective]

Okay, fine; I don't know.

[She takes a long sip, finishing off her drink.]

But I am almost positive.

[brushoff]

I can accept that, [ he grins, finishing off his drink as well. ]

Another round?

[citizendetective]

Sure. Maybe something a little, uh--

[She looks at her empty glass.]

-- less strong, this time? I mean, it's not like I'm going to have to drive, but I need to be able to walk out of here.

[brushoff]

Of course, [ Dorian says, with a nod. He is absolutely not going to make it less strong. ]

Maybe a margarita this time?