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Wait, was that supposed to be dirty talk or flirting? I thought you said it was flirting.

Dirty talk is flirting! They're the same thing!

[ he's more embarrassed than anything else, a rare feat for Dorian Gray. ]

They are not! Even I know that! I-it's like squares and rectangles!

Dirty talk is a kind of flirting, but not all flirting is dirty talk.

I cannot believe you are comparing flirting to maths.

It's a simile, Dorian. Not a direct comparison.

Similes are still comparisons.

Which is-

[ He's stopping. ]

Is there any chance we could move on to literally anything else?

Oh my God yes please. Talk about...I don't know, your dog or something. Let's go back to your room so I can pet your dog and not have to think about my toddler inmate or my inability to flirt for a while.

[ Because Dorian is BEET RED at the moment. ]

[ A beet red Dorian is... well, Jon is pressing his lips together just a little impishly because- ]

...you're rather adorable like this. If that helps.

[ Then he's going to start walking towards his cabin. ]

...hush up. I'm always adorable.

[ Dorian is STILL BLUSHING but trailing behind Jon. Time to not talk about this ever again and pet a dog instead! ]

Isn't hushing me up how we got into this in the first place?

[ Still walking. ]

I don't imagine many people get to see Dorian Grey blushing.

Don't tell them, [ he sarcastically muses. ]

I have a reputation to uphold.

[ They are thankfully at his door. He's opening it, holding it for Dorian, and closing it all before taking a moment to look at him, blushing and ridiculous.

In some fantasy of his, he'd turn around and kiss him on the mouth right then, just to let him know how fond of him he is, how delightful and ridiculous all of it is.

But Jon's still... still a little gun shy at the moment, which is why he'll instead point to the dog. ]

Winifred, reporting for duty, I believe.

Come here you awful slobbering beast, [ Dorian coos, grinning at Winifred. He makes a few little kissy noises, happy to pet the dog and not worry about his embarrassment. ]

[ Winifred will trot forward and go for all of the loving he's got for her. Jon's going to shake his head and go to make tea. ]

[ There are plenty of scratches and scritches and 'whoosa good girl'. After a moment, Dorian stops the pets to look over at Jon. ]

You really have an entire menagerie here. Frankly, it's ridiculous.

Only one animal was mine originally.

And Sandy doesn't even sleep here.

How big is Sandy going to get anyway?

Gargantuan, I believe. But not for some time.

That's the point when you need to go full Born Free and drop it back off at the Planet of the Sandworms to live in peace with it's own kind.

I'd have to start out quite a bit before that to be able to transport her there.

Better that happens than you have a giant fucking sandworm that you can't deal with.

I should probably ask the Admiral if, um, he'd be able to provide transport in that case. Just as a precaution.

You think? [ he dryly, sarcastically responds. ]

[ You're getting a Look, Dorian. ]

You say that as if she wasn't dumped in my lap by someone else in between a dozen other ridiculous insane things. It's not as if I've had time to think about it.

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