Right, I'm going to put a stop in that right there. [ He uses his free hand to point at Misty. ] You aren't a problem. Some choices you've made have been problems. But people don't magically turn into a different person when they graduate. They're still the same shitheads that arrived her, just a little more well-adjusted.
[ Because....well, someone might have eaten Natalie's pussy at the Halloween party BUT WE'RE NOT GONNA FOCUS ON THAT RIGHT NOW, HEY LET'S TOP OFF HIS WINE AS WELL, MORE DRINKS ARE GREAT ]
But I think there's a difference between 'being in love' and 'sleeping with someone.' Not to say that you two are in love, of course, [ except that they totally are ] but I think that if someone asked each of you 'who do you feel closest to, who is the one person that you would do anything for,' the two of you would answer with each other.
[It's a guess that no one would ever have made at home. She can't imagine a single person from Wiskayok ever saying anything close to "she would do anything for you".
Which, of course, just makes this all the more interesting to hear.]
Okay, well-- obviously she told you that we're sleeping with each other.
[Misty, honey, you two were making out very publicly at the Halloween party.]
Take that post you made a few months ago, the 'someone here has nuclear weapons' post. Wonderful gossip, I adored reading through the post. But when you toss out a juicy little tidbit to the entire Barge, everybody is going to immediately assume you're saying this simply to start shit.
[ Which...let's be real here, Dorian is absolutely certain Misty was saying it just to start shit. But he'll give her the benefit of the doubt in order to continue the Here's How You People Lessons. ]
If you really want something to go around, just casually mention it to a few people, especially those who you know will mention it to a few more people. If I had a juicy piece of information I wanted everybody to know, I'd tell it to chatterboxes like you or Doug Eiffel and not bother telling those boring sorts that keep to themselves.
You don't have to actually give a shit about whoever you're gossiping about. You just have to play it right.
Okay, it's not bad advice, but here's the problem with it.
[She holds up a hand, ticking off items on her fingers.]
One, sometimes I do care, but people assume that I don't. Two, I made that post the way I did to punish Pagan, and I-- well, I regret it now. My original plan had been to handle the situation responsibly!
And three...
[Her she smiles slyly.]
I'm actually amazing at keeping secrets when I want to. So you should take me off your chatterbox list.
One, I'm going to trust you on that keeping secrets bit. Who knows, maybe I might tell you a secret of my own that you wouldn't share with anybody. Two, why the hell would you want to punish Pagan in the first place? And three, if people assume that you don't care, then maybe try working on having them realize you do care?
[Well, that's a lot to cover. She hesitates, thinking, and then decides to go with the question that sounds both the most important and the least rhetorical.]
I wanted to punish Pagan because I was mad at him - at the time. We don't always get along.
Well there's your problem right there. Acting impulsively doesn't give you results. If you truly want to make someone hurt, that's when the planning kicks in.
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You'd like to think things would be different if teenage you were here. In practice? Who knows.
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[More fingerquotes.]
-- then the Admiral should have picked me up when the "problem" was still new.
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... Okay. Okay, thank you. I-- it's appreciated! Pagan says the same thing, and it means a lot.
[Reaching for the bottle she refills her glass, then holds it out as a silent offer to top off Dorian, too.]
Do you think I'm Nat's one and only?
[She says suddenly, out of the blue.]
Or are you imagining that as a one-way thing?
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[ Because....well, someone might have eaten Natalie's pussy at the Halloween party BUT WE'RE NOT GONNA FOCUS ON THAT RIGHT NOW, HEY LET'S TOP OFF HIS WINE AS WELL, MORE DRINKS ARE GREAT ]
But I think there's a difference between 'being in love' and 'sleeping with someone.' Not to say that you two are in love, of course, [ except that they totally are ] but I think that if someone asked each of you 'who do you feel closest to, who is the one person that you would do anything for,' the two of you would answer with each other.
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[DO FUCKIN TELL, DORIAN]
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I mean, this is just an educated guess. You two are remarkably intense with each other.
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Which, of course, just makes this all the more interesting to hear.]
Okay, well-- obviously she told you that we're sleeping with each other.
[Misty, honey, you two were making out very publicly at the Halloween party.]
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[ guess who has eyes, bitch. ]
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[But she's smiling - a little proud, a little smug.]
So she hasn't actually said anything. You're just, um, observing?
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Take that post you made a few months ago, the 'someone here has nuclear weapons' post. Wonderful gossip, I adored reading through the post. But when you toss out a juicy little tidbit to the entire Barge, everybody is going to immediately assume you're saying this simply to start shit.
[ Which...let's be real here, Dorian is absolutely certain Misty was saying it just to start shit. But he'll give her the benefit of the doubt in order to continue the Here's How You People Lessons. ]
If you really want something to go around, just casually mention it to a few people, especially those who you know will mention it to a few more people. If I had a juicy piece of information I wanted everybody to know, I'd tell it to chatterboxes like you or Doug Eiffel and not bother telling those boring sorts that keep to themselves.
You don't have to actually give a shit about whoever you're gossiping about. You just have to play it right.
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[She holds up a hand, ticking off items on her fingers.]
One, sometimes I do care, but people assume that I don't. Two, I made that post the way I did to punish Pagan, and I-- well, I regret it now. My original plan had been to handle the situation responsibly!
And three...
[Her she smiles slyly.]
I'm actually amazing at keeping secrets when I want to. So you should take me off your chatterbox list.
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I wanted to punish Pagan because I was mad at him - at the time. We don't always get along.
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What I don't get is why you didn't come up with a way where you could punish him that didn't involve also making it everybody's business.
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