[Jon had meant to send a message to Dorian about the nightmares, he really had, but as he'd done some filing to settle himself after the other man's departure, something had become very clear, very quickly. It's 3 AM when he actually messages Dorian.]
You absolute bastard! Bring back my Statement. That doesn't belong to you. It's the property of the Magnus Institute!
[ Fortunately for Jon, Dorian's up at 3AM. Thanks horrific nightmares! ]
I wondered when you'd notice that! I'll happily bring it back. However, terms and conditions do apply. Answer a few questions of mine and meet me by yourself and I'll hand over the Statement.
[ Boriiiing. Still, Dorian's going to take advantage of the asking questions before he decides to continue being an absolute dick to Jon. ]
1: Do you know how fucking hard it is to find a cassette player in this city? Upgrade your kit. 2: Blackwood is the Lonely. That music was the Slaughter. What are you?
[ Dorian has no idea if Lonely or Slaughter are proper names or not, but he knows that the weight behind whatever the hell Martin Blackwood did was impressive and terrifying enough to deserve a capital letter. Plus, he's extra like that. ]
1: No. I never have problems finding tape recorders and cassette players.
[Because magic.]
2: Martin isn't the Lonely. He's an avatar of it. A manifestation of it in human form. Much like those women are likely avatars of the Slaughter. The Archivist serves the Beholding, sometimes called the Eye or the Ceaseless Watcher.
[ Ceaseless Watcher, yeah that makes sense. That explains the delightful watching feeling Dorian had when Jon was talking to him. This is all far too fascinating. ]
And being an avatar lets you do the things that you and Blackwood did. Interesting.
Do all the stories you take get assigned to one of your Important Nouns or was I just lucky enough to steal a relevant one?
Not all phenomena in this world conforms to Robert Smirke's the taxonomy of the Dread Powers, no. Ones that are unclear get their own color. I also get plenty of tripe that I discard.
I believe AM puts us into the morning. But if you'd like to sleep on it... How are you sleeping, Dorian?
I did tell you to write it down. Multiple times, as I recall. Written Statements only. I didn't want to collect you. And I don't have a way to fix this.
It happens to everyone. I don't have dreams of my own anymore. I watch you and everyone else. So, I try not to sleep much.
[Which is why he's awake and texting at 3 AM. And looked so disheveled at their meeting. He'd fallen into a fitful snooze somewhere around midnight, which is why Dorian got to enjoy his first taste of the nightmares.]
[ His nightmares were of 1999, of growing old and decaying, of reliving the same things he told Jon about in his statement, of his flesh falling off, his body withering, and all his hundred-plus years of sins and existence catching up to him in a very body horror sort of way. ]
I did feel it. But you know something, Archivist? I sold my soul so that people COULD watch me. So that I would always be young and beautiful. So that my hair would never go gray and I'd never have a burn scar on my hand. So yes, reliving those memories was disgusting. But the watching? Less so. I'll have to choose a better story to tell you next time.
I'm someone who likes the way you looked at me. You had a hard-on the entire time I told my story. Seeing that expression is worth a few sleepless nights. I want you to look at me like that again, you definitely want my Statements again, we can work something out. Besides, I've survived worse than your dreams.
[ Which granted, are still absolutely horrible dreams that he'd really not like to go through again ]
I can count on one hand the number of times I have had sex here. Literally all of them were because of one wretched effect or another. You are not special. Unless you want to count yourself in the same category as this man. Who's also left me like that because he was stupid enough to give me a Statement when I told him not to.
[He sends along one of the photos he can grab from Vash's profile.]
[ Wait, he can see how Jon will answer this, so Dorian VERY QUICKLY ADDS ]
Which I am not, by the way. And in my defense, you had a tape recorder on the table and didn't lead with 'oh and by the way, this will give you horrific nightmares.' A man can get the wrong impression.
We did. The problem, of course, is that I adore talking about myself. Combined with you getting a hard-on whenever you hear someone talk about themselves...it gave results that I doubt either of us could plan.
It's not about you! You're not even my type. You're too bloody handsome for that.
It's the content of the story. The supernatural horror. It's why I asked you what you were most afraid of. What you gave me with the brand wasn't anything close to satisfying.
For your sake, I hope you do. I'll drop the statement off in a few hours, Archivist. I'll expect a response about which "Dread Power" I lay claim to soon after.
[And it's a few hours later, only after Dorian's made his delivery and Jon's checked there isn't anything missing that a reply comes.]
The Corruption. The fear of rot, decay, putrescence. Of toxic tendencies and whatever passes for love within a blackened heart. Your portrait is a monument to all that grips you with terror, Dorian. The Corruption would feast on you.
[ Dorian is not sure what to think about this. Sure, he's a corrupting influence. He'll happily admit that much. But the idea of 'his portrait being a monument to things that grip him with terror' is...a little annoyingly on-point. Because he is downright terrified of that thing and everything it represents.
Not that he'd admit it, of course. And especially not to Jon. ]
How odd. I thought I would be the Changeless or something like that. Still, Corruption. I suppose I can take it.
No. Stagnation and unchanging things are more the domain of the Lonely or the Buried. Based on how you reacted to Martin, I can imagine you'd make a tidy snack for the Lonely. The Buried? I really don't know you well enough to say, yet. But if you're afraid of being trapped, I expect you'd do well enough for it to feed on.
It's the honest truth! I made an idle wish, that I would never grow old and my portrait would take on any signs of age instead. And then a month or so later, I noticed that it did. It was only until after that when I learned the specifics of what I gave up in order to gain that wish. I didn't make a plan or plot things out or anything like that. The right being was simply listening at the right time.
Yes, well, join the club. There are a few people here who don't have them. So, Satan is real in your world. Or something calling itself Satan. The rest of the general Christian mythos, as well?
[ Nick doesn't reply to that; he just goes back to work, to do the things that he needs to get done in order for everything to be ready for Dorian. The thing about people with Dorian's...Dorianness - which is to say that portrait issue - is that magic is trickier with them, to make sure that the painting doesn't just absorb it.
For whatever reason.
By the time Dorian gets to the church, Nick is splay legged on the floor in front of the altar - which he preserved because fucking on the altar of the False God is still a thrill - in a circle of sacred geometry. He has a pile of books next to him, and there are small selection of candles in front of him. ]
Gray.
[He says it but barely looks up from the work he's doing.]
[ It's closer to the end of an hour than the start of it that Dorian makes his way to Nick's. He lets himself in, rapping loudly on the door as he enters the church. He takes one look at Nick, sitting in the circle of geometry surrounded by books and candles, and can't help but raise an eyebrow at the scene. ]
Scratch. I've got to say, you warlocks have mastered the concept of aesthetic.
[ Nick's house, the Gray Room's...everything, Nick's current set up with book and candle, it's pitch perfect ambiance and Dorian adores it.
He walks over towards Nick, taking care not to step too close to the circle, as he squats down to get a better look at the magic involved as well as the title of some of the various books. ]
Magic like this isn't my strongest suit, but if I can help, I want to. What should I do?
[He looks up then, and his smile is charming, just a little sly.]
Well, certainly we had the time.
[The books are all in Latin, except the one that's very clearly in Scandinavian runes. Nick doesn't read those very well, but considering the nature of the protection spells he cast, it was necessary to at least try. They're all on topics of gates, except for one of the books on the bottom that has no title.]
Do you have any experience with magic? One of...your versions? Alternate selves? He has no talent at all with magic.
[ Idly, Dorian plops down on the floor, sitting outright instead of squatting. He continues to browse the titles, taking in their names and authors as he talks. ]
Versions works. And I'm afraid I'm in the same boat as the non-warlock Dorian. I've had spells cast on me and seen various rituals but I'm afraid I've never participated in any of them.
[ And none of these books are things he's seen before. Pity, but expected. ]
[ Demon fat? Well that's interesting. And unexpected. He leans over the candle slightly, trying to get a whiff of any possible scent. ]
My bent is more Greco-Roman but I did spend some time in the 1970s brushing up on my Norse. [ There's an entire story behind the reason why, but Dorian knows it's not the time nor the place. ]
Odin sacrificed his eye and pierced himself with his spear. He hung himself from Yggdrasil, dancing between life and death for nine days and nights before he saw the runes. I don't remember the specific nature of the charms—one of them was to calm storms, I think? As well as to make any woman love him and to turn his weapons against his attackers. But they were all very powerful magic.
There are two that you should know about specifically. One, is a charm to turn witches away and send them spinning back, so they cannot find their own doors. The second is a secret, because the most powerful charm is a secret that only one person knows.
So.
[He lifts his head.]
The magic I'm layering on my collection hinges on those two charms.
[ Dorian listens, nodding at Nick's explanation. The first charm makes sense. Turn witches away, keep people out of his library. It's the second charm that interests him. ]
Is the secret something I have to tell you? I have something in mind, but my Dominant might be a...problem. He has the power to compel you to tell something. He's only used it on me once, but it's still there.
[ Nick looking interested makes Dorian even more interested. So, he knew enough about Jon to know about his power? Small world. Nick gets a nod of confirmation at his statement. ]
He doesn't know. Sims takes...a rather hands-off approach with me. Truth be told, I think he's a little scared of me.
[ Something that Dorian is just super pleased by. ] I don't mind. I find him interesting.
Well this you should be able to keep from him. You could tell him you know where my library is, but he won't be able to pull the information out of you.
[This is a true level of trust. If Dorian breaks it, Nick will ruin his life.
He holds his hands out, and the words come out in fast, rapid-fire Latin; the incantation makes the circle lift off the ground, until the energy is floating about three feet off the ground.
Nick overlaps his hands, and says the spell again, and the energy rushes towards Dorian.]
[ Dorian watches all of this with a look of rapt interest on his face. As the magic starts and the energy floats off the ground, Dorian's body remains perfectly still while his eyes dart from point to point, trying to take in as much of the scene as he possibly can. ]
And unlike me, he's not durable enough to take a hit when that magic decides to bite back. Not that yours will, of course, [ Dorian quickly interjects. ] But I've seen his scars.
[ Dorian does so. When the candles snuff themselves out, Dorian looks around. He makes a small noise of approval before looking over to where he hopes Nick is. ]
If this is part of the magic, I hope we can have a little bit of fun in here afterwards. A pitch black room offers so many possibilities.
[He says it cheerfully enough, and then he reaches and takes Dorian by the hand. Nick has a hand of glory, which doesn't help Dorian much, but it doesn't matter. This is part of the spell.]
[He says it, and laughs. A door opens, and he guides Dorian through, and then he takes the candle out of his hand of glory, and the light of it illuminates the room.]
I just know how to get to places.
[They won't have to do this each time. Just the first; Kavinsky's charm already let Dorian in.]
[ Once the room is illuminated, Dorian blinks a few times before looking around to inspect his surroundings and take in the ins and outs of how this new library looks. After all, he suspects he'll be spending more time down here. ]
Mmm, pity. There's so much potential with the idea of seeing in the dark. [ Voyeurism? Sensory deprivation? Just plain really creepy sex? Hell yeah, load him up with that shit. ] Which isn't a slight on you, my dear Nick. It's just yet another way in which this place offers me so many new possibilities.
[He looks around, and there's a chair - big, and squashy, the leather old and spelled to stay clean, which is mostly because Nick likes to have sex anywhere he wants and he doesn't want to have to clean leather.
He tips his head a little.]
Or maybe you don't.
Maybe you're the opposite. You want it to get deeply kinky.
Scratch, I'm Dorian Gray. I invented deeply kinky.
[ said with a wide grin on his face. Okay, so 'invented deeply kinky' might be an understatement, but Dorian is certainly the sort not to turn away any fun kinks. ]
And I wouldn't know what a hand of glory was even if it bit me.
[ Taking the hand of glory, Dorian looks it over. And, one does, the moment Nick says that they smell, Dorian moves his nose towards the plant in order to smell it. ]
If it's a plant where you come from, how is it here? Are you just that lucky?
[There's medium-sized package waiting for Dorian when he arrives home. It's done up with shiny black paper and a big black bow. Inside is a gift and a note in Jon's handwriting.]
I'm not agreeing to your terms, but here. Use it with anyone you see fit to invite over. - The Archivist
[The note is real enough. But it had meant to be accompanied by a house-warming tea set. Not. That.]
Why is he getting nothing but mixed signals from this man. Dorian just stares at the package in utter confusion before he decides to text Jon about it and in true Dorian fashion, be a little bit of a shit in the process. ]
I have to say, this is the most unorthodox housewarming gift I've gotten in a while. Not that I'm complaining, of course, but don't most people simply settle for a bottle of wine?
[It's not that fancy. Christ. Maybe he should have just sent horrible novelty mugs or something and left it that that.]
I don't see why not. I do like doing nice things for him now and again, and he's usually the one going to the trouble. I expect Alessandro and Lyall would enjoy it, too.
[ Eventually Dorian will get that they've got to be talking about two different things. But right now, he's just stuck on the image of Jon in cat ears that the brain's short-circuiting a bit right now. ]
Really? I wouldn't have guessed. At least, not for Lyall.
[ The idea of the anthropomorphic personification of the color beige enjoying cat ears just isn't settling right in Dorian's brain. ]
I also wouldn't have guessed that this is your brand of nice. Look at us, getting to know each other better, as a pair should be doing.
Consider it me trying to be a good Dominant, if it makes it easier. Do you want me to come over and show you how to use it, or some nonsense like that?
[ Wait, shit, he forgot about Blackwood (story of Martin's life). ]
I'd rather not deal with the babysitter today. So how about this. I take a picture of myself using what you gave me, you tell me if I'm doing it right.
[ sexy selfie time~ Dorian sends Jon two selfies: one of them is himself in the cat ears and ribbon collar and the second one is himself at a different angle, one that better shows off the tail, wearing the cat ears and the leather collar. Thankfully, he's wearing clothes. Unfortunately, this means that he's wearing the the tail + ears + collar combo over a pair of tight jeans and an oxford shirt and it all looks a bit silly. ]
Again, I'm confused as to why this showed up on my doorstep this morning (and why you know about this to begin with) but I'm honestly not complaining.
Also, tell me if you like the ribbon or the leather one better. I think I'll make one of them my inside collar and I'll remove the bell on one of them to make it an outside collar.
[ Now this is just Dorian being a grade-A brat and deciding you know what? Dominant gave me a collar, gonna make it my ~official Duplicity collar~ for shits and giggles. ]
I figured as much. This is far too silly to be your style.
[ but Dorian's getting a kick out of it, so he sends Jon another ridiculous cat ears & collar selfie, this time with one of his hands up by his cheek like, y'know, nya. ]
[ The next selfie is an earless, collarless, tailless Dorian just comically pouting in a manner that they both know is over the top and totally disingenuous. ]
Do I at least have permission to wear one of the collars out and about? It's honestly better than the standard issue one.
Dear god, I will buy you a better collar than that if you want one. Just stop sending pictures. Find something you like and send me the bill. I don't make any of my Submissives wear collars.
I think I do want a better collar. After all, it'll help hide that hideous line on my throat.
I'll text you the bill when I find something.
[ It will be disproportionately expensive. ]
Thank you for the gift, by the way, even if what I received wasn't what you expected. I can honestly say I wasn't expecting anything from you in the first place.
Not listening hurts him. I've been trying to do less of that lately. He's already pissed off at me for something else. I don't need to add to his stress.
[ There's a very long time before Dorian responds to this text. ]
A word of advice: if that's truly the case, then hold onto him no matter what. It's easy to lose one's soulmate and harder to recover from the loss.
[ He hates that he's being so nice but Dorian's got a big old bundle of issues in the form of dead vampire boyfriend. Jon's a pain (and Dorian still isn't sure this relationship might last) but he's a pain that doesn't deserve a round of crippling depression. ]
[It's such a genuine reply that Jon doesn't know quite what to do with it. Much as Elias' simple gratitude and admission of care for Jon's general well-being had wildly confused him.]
I've only ever killed one person, Dorian. He hurt Martin. He's the reason Martin's wrapped up in the Lonely. He kidnapped Martin into the Lonely, tried to brainwash him, and refused to answer my questions, so I ripped his mind and his head apart.
I don't intend to let anyone take him away from me again.
[Dead things can't fear. And there are so many things worse than death for the average person.]
I don't want to reach that point again. What I am doesn't go backwards easily. Every avatar I've ever known except for one has lost themselves to their patron. They're cold, cruel. Most of them delight in what they do. And they're happy to feed the Fear that feeds them.
Why would they want to go backwards? Once you get the idea in your head that you're different, you're better than most people, it's hard to go back. Might as well embrace your nature and all that it entails.
God, you sound like Helen. We're not better. I'm not better. If anything, we're worse. You get so removed from the normal things and you start forgetting how people actually work, how to act like a person, yourself. I've seen what that looks like from the outside. It's bad.
I didn't say that I was better. Just that I understand that line of thought. Though really, the best way to act like a person is to be around them. You can pick up on things to mimic that way. If I had to guess, I'd say your Helen doesn't do that.
[He's going to have to explain things for context. Ugh...]
Helen is the Distortion, an avatar for the Spiral. She became the Distortion a little while after I became the Archivist. Maybe if I'd been nicer to her? I don't know. Helen decided to stop caring about the people she hurt to feed. She did speak with my staff. And me. She's actually sort of an ally? I mean, she wants to kill me. Probably. But she'll wait for the right moment for it. And I knew Helen Richardson before she was Helen. She was one of my earliest Statements.
It gets complicated with avatars. Most of us started out as people. It's just a matter of not forgetting what we were. But it's always a choice to become this. A lot of people who choose it want it. So, I suppose it's easier for them to give up what they were before.
What would your intentions be? Some of them might just see you and decide to rearrange your bones and organs for fun. The Boneturner's always good for a trick there.
I could take that. I regrew my appendix twice. And my intentions would be just to learn. Obviously there's some sort of drama between you avatars if Helen wants to kill you. I don't want to be caught up in it. Of course, I'll probably end up caught in it anyway.
You realize the appendix is the one you could stand to lose, right?
If you want to just learn, observe, and watch, you'd certainly get picked out for a servant of the Beholding. Which would immediately net you a great many enemies, particularly those of the Dark and the Stranger. The Desolation to an extent, but that's a more... personal grudge against my predecessor by the relevant cult.
You're extremely unusual for the Corruption in my world. Those avatars delight in their filth and infestation. They don't try to palm it off to paintings.
Helen doesn't have any particular animosity toward me. She actually saved my life when the previous Distortion got... wrapped up in old grudges his vessel had. I say previous. It's really just a different persona and physical vessel for the same creature. Most of us with titles have that unfortunate distinction. I'm the Archivist. But I'm not the first, and I won't be the last.
I'm palming off the effects, not the actions. I am fully aware of how monstrous I am, I'd just rather not look at it. Besides, I love to buck convention.
If my options are Corruption or Beholding, then it's easily Corruption.
The Corruption hates everything. But probably... the Lonely? They're diametrically opposed in a way. The Corruption feeds on the need for love, gives its servants what they most crave. The Lonely is about taking away that love, the bitter emptiness.
Honestly, if you'd led in literally any other way than kissing me against a wall in a state, he'd probably be perfectly lovely to you. He's friendly with plenty of the people who have hurt me. I just never told him how or how many. It's better for him being able to make friends.
Not for lack of trying! You don't know what you're missing, Dominant. Whether it's sex or Statements, I've got so much potential that you seem intent on ignoring.
You need to start considering your next contract. Looking for another Dominant. That sort of thing. I don't want you coming down to the wire and whining at me that I'm your only option. Martin might want to get contracted and I can't do that with you hanging about.
1. I am legitimately offended that you think I'll be hurting for potential contract partners. 2. Have Tarabotti and Lyall gotten this speech or am I the only one?
[ Well yeah, can't deny those three statements. Dorian ain't even gonna try to make a case. ]
Calling someone a snake is a grand way to get them to keep their Statements to themselves. I thought you wanted to hear about my arrangement with the devil?
When you put it that way, I sound terribly needy. I'll happily give you my Statement but like I said earlier, I want something in return. I'm flexible on the terms so come on, Archivist. Make me an offer.
When you bring me your next Statement, yes. It's a rib, not terribly exciting. Although, he did say it was a funny one when he was taking it out. Make of that what you will.
You do know that if we do this, it would be best if we do this alone. Blackwood won't be happy about this to begin with. It's best we keep it our little secret.
[That's a bad idea. He's trying to be good for Martin and Dorian pushes. But Dorian isn't wrong. Maybe... maybe just the once. If he's careful. Dorian isn't like Elias. Martin doesn't like him and he's awful, but he's not... well, apocalypse-minded awful. And he does still feel the tiniest bit bad about what had happened last time. Even if Martin had told him not to apologize. It had been Jon's fault.]
The only thing you're going to touch is my rib. And we're meeting for no more than 30 minutes. Agreed?
[Jon sends along the library location and room number later that day. The next afternoon, he's pacing the small conference room he's booked, fretting over whether this is a good idea or not. He has a message to Martin pulled up on his phone as he circles the central table. He should tell the other man this is happening. There's even a message half-typed into it. Deleted and rewritten multiple times. Martin could get here in a snap. Maybe...
The door opens, and the Archivist nearly jumps out of his skin, dropping his phone on the floor as he whirls around.]
[ When Dorian's arrived, for the first time he's not trying to cover up his submissive throat mark. Instead, he's got it on full display, first two buttons of his shirt unbuttoned, outfit perfectly framed to display the fact that he's wearing one of the pet play collars Jon accidentally gifted him. The only difference is that he's taken off the bell and replaced it with a metal ring.
Jon can tell that there's a Statement in Dorian's inner coat pocket. He gives Jon a smiiiile before sitting down in one of the conference room chairs. ]
I'll keep things within the time limit, I just want to ask a few questions first. [ and nope, not even gonna give Jon a chance to protest as Dorian continues talking. ] What will actually happen with the Statement I give you? Will it go in your files with all the rest?
[Jon's attention hones in on that Statement, like a cat that's seen his quarry, and his phone is left buzzing softly on the ground as a series of texts are returned. The Archivist stalks around the table to where he's put a satchel and sets that on the table before sitting down, himself.]
I'll record it, obviously. Statements from program participants go into a private collection. I don't allow anyone but myself access.
[ Dorian's expression shifts a little as he thinks things over. He's obviously of two minds about this. Sure, Jon says that he doesn't allow anyone but himself access...but Dorian still managed to steal a Statement from Jon back when they first met. Was that in a private collection? And for all that Jon said he doesn't allow himself access, Dorian can think of a few people that he might end up giving access anyway.
He's obviously thinking things over. Stalling for time, Dorian nods then continues talking. ]
[Jon frowns at the other man, still eyeing his coat. But, he does open his satchel and draw from it a full human rib. From the size, Dorian can likely guess that it's from the lowest part of Jon's rib cage. He sets it on the table and nudges it toward the other man.]
The full story would take far more than thirty minutes, but the abridged version is that I needed to rescue someone from an evil coffin after she was thrown inside, and I required an anchor to find my way back out of it. I'd just read a Statement that seemed to indicate the flesh was a powerful anchor.
I-I tried cutting off a finger, but it wouldn't stick. It hurt, but no matter how many times I cut it off, whenever I took the knife away, it was still attached. One of my assistants caught me at it and offered an... alternative. There is an avatar of the Flesh known as the Boneturner. He and his minions had attacked the Institute while I was... away for a bit, and Helen... the Distortion--another avatar--she'd captured the Boneturner within a sort of- pocket dimension? It's essentially a hell maze where the Distortion sends people to slowly go mad with terror and die. Sort of like a stomach.
It's an unpleasant place. In any case, she'd been keeping Jared--the Boneturner--locked up in there and let me go into speak with him. I offered him a deal. I needed him to take out a rib, and I'd have Helen let him out. He has a particular ability that lets him reach into a body and pull out anything he wants without ripping a person open. Like-like they're made of... jelly or something. He also had a Statement I wanted. He offered to give it to me for another rib. One for him, one for me, and Helen lets him out the door.
And that's why I have that rib and a rather more hourglass-shaped figure than I used to have.
[ That's a rib. Dorian reaches over to the rib and picks it up, holding the rib and looking it over, examining the thing as Jon tells his story. The whole story is exactly the thing he loves: more information about Jon's universe, more knowledge about those different avatars, more knowledge about each individual power that's impacted Jon's life.
There's a hundred questions that enter Dorian's mind. Why would Helen help you? How did the Flesh attack the Institute? If Jon had both of his bottom ribs removed, could he suck his own dick? Admittedly, a few of those questions were more useful than others. There's a moment's pause before Dorian sets the rib down, gently in front of Jon. ]
Then I suppose it was worth it in the end, [ Dorian muses. He's a bit lost in thought, thinking of Jon's rib, thinking of the idea about meeting someone powerful enough to rip bones from your body, thinking about all the sorts of nasty things with that power could do to Jon—or hell, even to him.
And thinking about how he's got to uphold his end of the deal and what sort of move he'll take next. ]
It was smart of you to choose a rib. If I had to take a guess, I'd say that bones don't...grow the way that organs do.
I mean, I've had to regrow bones before. They've gotten shattered and broken. But I haven't had to regrow an entire bone that was forcefully removed from my body the way yours was.
[ There's a decided emphasis on that as Dorian gestures towards Jon's rib. Because seriously, that's strange. Even for Dorian 'I've seen so much bullshit in my life' Gray, that's a little odd. ]
[ Dorian pauses for a moment, as if collecting himself. He takes a deep breath before placing his hands at his side. ]
I know you said that no one else would see the written Statement, but honestly? I don't know if I trust you on that. I want this to remain a secret, Jon, and the more places it's written down, the more people can learn about it.
[ It's already going to be on that tape recorder. Dorian doesn't think there's anything he can do about it. But he can tell Jon the story instead of giving it to him. That should be enough.
What's one more round of horrific nightmares compared to what he's already got? Dorian can handle it. He hopes. ]
So I'm going to tell you it instead. This is the story of Dorian Gray and the last time I encountered Lucifer himself.
But then, why else would a tape recorder have turned up and clicked on? It knows.]
Stop. Stop! Stop... I- the nightmares. That's- you will have nightmares about this. For the rest of our mutual existence. Do you actually want that?
[The Archivist wants this. It's taking a great deal of willpower at the moment to say anything, and some of his protests may be a bit undercut by how hungrily he's staring at Dorian.]
[ Dorian also wants this. His eyes light up with excitement as he sees Jon stare at him. After the confusion of the time after the storm, when he was sick with...something, it's reassuring to see that he can still be wanted in such a manner even when everyone's themselves.
Of course, then Jon has to go and open his mouth and try to stop him. ]
Jon, when I say that I don't want anybody else to know about this, I mean I don't want anybody else to know about this. [ Dorian snaps, doing a terrible job of hiding his irritation. Of course, that begs the question as to why he'd tell Jon about it in the first place. ]
I've already got nightmares thanks to you and to my own choices. I can stand another.
[He flinches visibly at the mention of already having nightmares. He knows that's the case, but the guilt claws at his insides.]
No one will- No one else has to-
[Jon starts patting his pockets down, looking for his phone. He should call Martin, ask him to confirm that this is okay. Dorian is offering it. This wasn't what he'd expected to get in trade for his own story. His phone seems to be missing, though. Where did it- Ah, he'd dropped it.
In spite of the fact that he needs to keep looking, Jon just continues to gaze at Dorian, leaning in a little toward him, eyes unblinking.]
Do you actually want to tell me this story?
[There's power laced through that question, a demand for truth from those beautiful lips.]
I do. [ He says, without hesitation. Dorian finds himself talking, out and out compelled as Dorian meets Jon's gaze with his own. ] I really don't want Blackwood to learn about this. He already thinks I'm a villain—the last thing I need is to give him more ammunition.
[ Which naturally means that Martin's going to learn about this at some point. Dorian doesn't seem to realize that, though. ]
Besides, I like the idea of being in your mind. It means you'll never be rid of me.
Martin's not wrong. You-you're awful. You're like one of the avatars in my Archives.
[He's especially like one of them with that last line.]
It- You didn't tell me you were going to do this. I thought you were just giving me something written.
[He's not actually telling the other man to stop, though, and the effort to resist when Dorian is there just offering himself on a silver platter is wearing him down. This is the point where he should really call Martin.]
[ He's been called worse things than awful. Though he's not sure whether to be flattered or disgusted by that avatar comparison. For all the joking that Dorian's made about where he fits in those Powers, it's a bit different to hear it directly from Jon. ]
Honestly, I was just planning on giving you the written statement. But then, after a very stressful week, you ring me up just to say 'by the way, might want to start looking for someone else.' We've still got a month left, Jon! You can't get rid of me that easily.
[ It doesn't matter that they haven't really done anything. It doesn't matter that their Dominant and Submissive relationship is just the bare minimum. What matters is that Jon seems all too eager to pawn him off on someone else and Dorian just hates that. ]
We don't even like each other. Why would you want to stay with me? Spite?
[Good. Yes, good. Argument. He could distract himself from need screaming from his chest for that Statement with a good argument.]
I was pre-empting you trying to lie about anything. Because you seem like the sort. Good. Make sure you talk to them about contract terms so you're ready for the shift. I already see you in your nightmares. Why would you want to double that?
Of course I like you! [ Dorian snaps. ] Why else do I keep writing out those bloody Statements? If I didn't like you, I wouldn't even give you the time of day!
[ It's just that there's a vast difference between 'like as a friend' and 'like as a curiosity that he wants to figure out.' Dorian seethes for a bit: he can tell that his voice is rising and he knows he should take a moment to try and calm down. After all, they are still in a library. ]
And I want to double that because I want to see how you look at me when I give you the best Statement you'll ever get. I remember how you looked at me the last time I brought Lucifer up. You want this.
[Well, now he's confused, and it doubtlessly shows in his expression. Because 'I like you as an interesting toy to pick apart' isn't something that crosses Jon's mind. Not with Dorian, specifically.]
You want me to look at you like I want to eat you?
[He assumes that's more or less how he looks.]
Because that's what's happening here, Dorian. We're not having a chat, I'm feeding on you. Your horror. Collecting another piece of you for the Watcher. People aren't supposed to want that!
It doesn't look like you want to eat me, [ he grumbles. Or at least, it's not entirely like Jon wants to eat him. Dorian pauses for a moment as he tries to find a way to explain himself. ]
When you look at me, it's like I'm the most interesting person in the world. Even earlier, when I first mentioned giving a verbal statement, you looked at me with nothing but want in your eyes. That's what I want.
Statements are food to the Archivist, Dorian. [Maybe he hadn't made this clear?] I get sick and weak without them. I'm interested, yes. Academically. This is my job. But I'm looking at you like that because the Watcher is- because it- I- um...
[This is not the moment to have an identity crisis.]
B-because the Archivist needs you. Stories like yours.
I'm trying to protect you from it! [He can't help slamming a hand down flat on the table in frustration.] From-from me! Christ! What is wrong with you? This is why Martin- Why he stopped me last time. I can't- I don't...
[He doesn't want to turn the other man way. He wants what the other man is offering so badly, trying to resist a monstrous nature.]
[ This is a role Dorian's found himself playing many times throughout his life. The tempter, the corrupter, a man who could take someone and just ruin anything good inside them. He feels himself step back into old habits like stepping into an old pair of shoes as the conversation shifts and Dorian finds himself less in the role of 'justifying his interest in Jon' and more in the role of 'shoulder devil.' ]
You keep making these protestations and yet you agreed to meet me here, alone, knowing full well who I am and what I might do, while looking at me like that. You're tempted. And the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
[ don't mind Dorian as he quotes part of The Picture of Dorian Gray like an absolute jackass ]
[There's quiet fury in Jon's voice and for just a moment, his form is one of eyes and void like the nightmares. He can remember the conversations with Daisy, talking her down. 'Don't listen to the blood, listen to the quiet.' But it's not his blood singing. It's not a burning, prickling sensation in his skin like Jude. Or maybe a stomach-dropping sensation for Mike. His mind cries out for the knowledge. Curiosity that's his own and something else's intermixed, bound so tightly he can't tell where the human ends and the Archivist's instincts start. Or if there's any difference anymore.]
I want... I want your Statement. That doesn't mean I should- I can't. I need to be more human. For Martin. We talked about this. Every time I give into it, a piece of that goes away.
[He's starving and Dorian's kind of Statement would be a perfect meal. Something like this, a verbal one, it would fill him up for at least a day or two. He'd be in a better place to be supportive of his boyfriend.]
[ That brief glimpse of something that's Jon and yet entirely not Jon is just so tantalizing. He knows what he should be doing: he should be reassuring Jon that no, he's still human enough, you'll be able to hold onto Martin, things will be fine. But that brief glimpse of eyes and void tells Dorian that no, he's not going to do what he should, he's going to continue to try and push this.
Besides, Jon can still be together with Martin even if he's a horrifying eye monster that feeds on information, right? Maybe? ]
It doesn't matter what you want, [ Dorian says, with a little wave of his hand, straight up ignoring Jon's question to him. ] Do you think the cancer patient wanted his disease? What matters is that you deal with the hand you're dealt.
Besides, you tried to chop off your finger and let this...'Boneturner' take out two of your ribs. The more we talk, the less it seems you're trying to hold onto your humanity in the first place.
"You never wanted this, no. But I’m afraid you absolutely did choose it. In a hundred ways, at a hundred thresholds, you pressed on. You sought knowledge relentlessly, and you always chose to see."
Except a cancer patient doesn't have a choice in what happened to them. Jon has had every opportunity to turn back, to turn away from this, his nature. But he rarely has.]
That was to save someone. Daisy was trapped. I had to get her out.
[Except he hadn't had to do anything. Basira had told him not to. He'd jumped head first into that coffin as much to alleviate his own sense of uselessness, helplessness, as anything else. And it had played directly into Elias' hands. Jon covers his face.
He's breaking. He's going to break and give into this. He should have told Martin, regardless of what Dorian wants. A part of him had always known this was a possibility, and he'd come anyway.]
I just want to help people... If I have these powers then, I- What's the point of them--[of him existing as this horrible creature]--if I... don't?
[ Dorian bites back a sarcastic comment. Helping people? He's an entity that feeds on nightmares and stories, there are very few ways something like that can help people. But, then again, Dorian's an entity that cannot die and he knows his immortality has unintentionally helped a few people across his life.
He watches Jon as he talks, taking in the man's and despair at the situation. ]
The point is that you've been dealt a bad hand. That's it. Nothing more. There's no grand purpose to these sort of things and if you think there is one, you'll be horribly disappointed. The only thing that matters is the choice between accepting your circumstances or fruitlessly fighting against it at every turn.
[ There's a seriousness to his tone as he talks. Dorian might not have Jon's exact experience, but he knows some of what he's talking about. ]
There is a grand purpose. There was! [Jon snaps.] I'm the reason-
[No. No. That is not an admission to make to Dorian Gray, of all people. Jon clams up, shoulders going stiff. He feels trapped in this room. Unable to will himself to leave. Knowing he should. There's the sensation of hot tears prickling at the edges of his vision as he holds his breath. Do not have a breakdown in this room. Of all the bloody times.]
Tell me your story. Tell me, Dorian Gray.
[His hands fall away. Jon doesn't want Dorian to hone in on that, needle the truth out, so it's going to be this. Compelling him so he can't distract.]
[ The moment that Jon says there was a grand purpose, Dorian leans in, interested expression and excitement sparkling in his eyes. He's opening his mouth, question on his lips, desperate and yearning to know what that purpose is, but Jon beats him to the punch. The compulsion falls on his ears and Dorian knows that he's got to start telling his story. ]
I've met Lucifer many times over my life. More often than not, he speaks his intentions through other. Demons, monsters, an old flame of mine that he decided to rudely possess. But the most recent time we chatted was the most personal yet.
[ Jon's innate storytelling compulsions with Dorian's flowery narrative tendencies work well together. Dorian leans back in his chair, further away from Jon, as he continues to talk. ]
It's funny you should mention saving someone: that's how this story starts as well. An old acquaintance of mine was trapped. The only way to save her was to exchange my soul for hers. And, in a misguided attempt at altruism fueled by a terrible depression, I did just that. I stabbed my portrait. I suspect if I didn't have the exchange, it would have outright killed me. But instead, my soul became trapped inside the portrait. I spent the next two years alone, staring out of that canvas, reliving all my memories and trapped alone with all my regrets.
Two years is a long time to be trapped alone with one's thoughts. I wasn't in Hell but I might as well be. Near the end of that time, he came to me again. [ Dorian doesn't need to specify who. It's obvious enough from the context. ] He offered me a chance at life again. All I had to do was exchange some lives for my own. One for my voice, one for my body, one for my youth.
I eagerly accepted. And I got my chance when three trespassers decided to break into my house.
[He'd thought, at first, that this would be a story of Dorian's first encounter with Lucifer. That doesn't make this one any less interesting, though, and as the other man speaks, the Archivist's distress settles. He focuses on Dorian, gaze intense once more, unwavering in its focus. This man truly is the world for him in these moments, as he speaks.
The library, the world fades away and it's just the two of them.]
[ Jon looking at him is beautiful. He's looking at Dorian like Dorian is the most important thing in the world and Dorian just loves that. ]
Lucifer gave me the ability to leave my portrait, rendering it a blank canvas. After all, it's not like I could kill people while stuck in there, could I. He also made the house...haunted is probably the best way to describe it. The house was my prison and my plaything all at the same time. At first, I was just a ghost. I could manipulate the answering machine, lock the doors, but I couldn't actually do much. That is, not until I lured the first trespasser into the shadows which consumed him.
The first death gave me my voice back and I was able to talk through the phone lines. I convinced the second trespasser to abandon his friend and go to the fire escape off the roof. Unfortunately for him, the fire escape wasn't that sound. It broke underneath the second trespasser, giving him a very nasty fall.
The second death gave me my body back. I could walk around, though I was that horrible thing represented in my portrait. [ His actual self. ] I convinced the third trespasser to go to the attic. She was...kind. Too kind enough for her own good. I convinced her to kiss me. That was enough for me to drain her youth, restoring me to my current beauty.
[ Dorian settles back in his chair, giving Jon a little nod to say that he was finished. ]
I was given the option to kill one more person and get a soul from them. But I never really needed that to begin with. The devil hasn't spoken to me since.
[The Archivist can picture it now. Those three people, their terror. He knows he'll be seeing them tonight, getting to know their faces, their voices, everything about them before Dorian had stripped them away.]
The deaths? No. The only thing I regret were my actions that led me to those choices in the first place. The first good thing I've done in ages and it was a fucking mistake.
[ which Dorian is VERY bitter about. He had heard of 'no good deed goes unpunished' but those two years stuck in his portrait were a living hell Dorian could never have expected. ]
[There is some horrible irony in that, but given that the majority of heroic and selfless gestures Jon has made in his life had prepared him for the apocalypse... he can't say he doesn't relate to some degree. Life is unfair, karma is a lie, and people rarely get what they deserve. They just get what they get.]
I don't think it was. You saved someone. That's... rarely is that a mistake. You might not have liked what came after, but it wasn't a mistake what you did in the first place.
[It's what he's told himself sometimes, anyway, when the misery about what had happened to Tim or saving Daisy or any other thing crosses his mind.]
What came after was that I murdered three people, [ Dorian sarcastically continues. ]
And those people I killed? They were so young. Stupid twenty-somethings, with so much potential, who's only crime was to break into the wrong house at the wrong time. Their deaths happened because I made a foolish attempt at altruism.
[ There's a part of this dilemma that Dorian is overlooking. He didn't have to kill those people. But, at least in his mind, he totally did. What else could he have done, just accepted his own personal hell? ]
What came after was your imprisonment. None of those people had to die. You could have stayed in there.
[It's unfortunate that Jon can also relate to being stuck in a personalized hell and wanting to get out. He didn't have to kill anyone for that to happen, but after two years... he might have.]
No, I really couldn't, [ Dorian says with 100% certainty. ] You have no idea what that hell was like for me. I would have jumped at any chance I took to get out of there.
Unless you want to try to be better than you base nature. [Which... this situation is proving that Jon's not, either. He stands abruptly, reaching for the tape recorder.] End recording. I need to go. We're not doing this again. I can't do this again. I'm going to tell Martin the next time you ask me to meet you in-person.
You'll be back~ [ Dorian says, in a sing-song tone, still seated. He's seen the way that Jon looks at him. There's no way that man can entirely ignore him. ]
I'll make sure to have a lovely story for you when you return. Maybe ghosts? Or perhaps the time I took on the body of someone else.
[Jon fights the urge to snap something. It will be giving Dorian the attention he wants. Instead, the Archivist circumnavigates the table, snatches up his phone and head out the door. Better to be away before the other man can remember to ask any other questions.]
[ And Dorian lets him. It's only after Jon leaves and Dorian starts pushing his chair in that he remembers he should have probably asked about that 'grand purpose' thing.
Yes, you do. A man call Essek. He said you've been telling people you're his Submissive to break into his house. Stop it. He's said he's going to teach you a lesson, if you don't, which I assume involves a significant amount of pain, followed by reporting you to the authorities.
I'm not currently doing anything! I actually tried to apologize, believe it or not. I suspect he's contacting you because he's got a stick up his ass the size of an entire tree.
Somehow, I believe him more than I believe you. Leave him alone. He doesn't want to talk to you. If you need some incentive, I can buy you something you want if you can at least leave off until our contract expires and I don't have to be the 'authority figure' in your life.
I DID apologize. Feel free to ask him for proof. And you don't have to bribe me to leave him alone. I'll continue to talk to him, but until we're not contracted, I can try to keep my distance.
[This is going... much more easily than Jon thought it would. He wonders, just for a moment if maybe Essek was exaggerating a bit. He doesn't know the man, what his motivations might be. Maybe he was looking to exact some leverage over Dorian? Was Jon just being used in some sort of powerplay?
The paranoia swirls through his mind. At least Dorian is the evil that he knows. Essek is a stranger, a blank space.]
Tell me more about Essek. Why were you stalking him in the first place? Is he dangerous? Are you in danger?
Fortunately, I didn't do anything that melodramatic. Whatever that was made me needier. I didn't want to let anyone out of my sight and I took rejection absolutely poorly.
[ says the person who takes rejection poorly on a regular basis. ]
Rest assured, I still would have bothered Thelyss if he rejected me when I was myself. But during that time, all I could think about was making him mine, no matter the consequences.
I don't know how many times I have to say 'I was literally under the influence of something that made me act unlike myself' before you understand. I'm perfectly fine leaving Thelyss alone otherwise.
He attacked me when I broke into his house. He used this spell to hold me in place. I couldn't speak, couldn't move, the whole thing felt absolutely terrifying. I know that I broke in but honestly, that's taking things too far. And it's not like I could explain myself when again, couldn't speak. I don't know how long he would have held me if Caleb wasn't there.
[Oh... well, that's not unlike the force hand thing Hawke can do.]
You know Frumpkin's person? I can't say I'm surprised he helped you. He seems like an absolute pushover. And far too trusting.
I'd say being held frozen is probably the least like being attacked possible. It's no worse than tying you up and gagging you. Good to know that sort of thing can make an impression on you, though. I'll bear that in mind.
So I'm suddenly not allowed to complain about things I don't like just because I've suffered worse? We shall have to amend my contract! Dorian isn't allowed to bitch about things because it simply isn't worse than two years of literal hell.
One, be nice to Sims! He treated me VERY well when I convinced him to stay over a few weeks ago. ;) And two, he's not my Dominant any more. Our contract expired earlier this month. But I'll come Up and see you soon.
[Nevermind. He's summoning Gray, because fuck boundaries. A moment later Dorian is there, in Nick's bedroom, right in between Nick's hands. He looks at him for a moment.]
[ Oh, wow, he's suddenly at Nick's. Dorian doesn't puke, but he does look a little queasy and places a hand on Nick's shoulder for balance. Teleportation isn't something he's used to. ]
To answer your question, yes, I don't have a contract at the moment—I'm not worried, though. There are two people I'm working over. One of them should hopefully be good contract material.
They shouldn't. One of them is the angel, another is a man named Essek Thelyss.
[ Dorian bends down to offer his hand to the dog, letting it sniff him before he gives the dog a few ear scratches. ]
Of course, if Sims were to offer to take me up again, I wouldn't say no. I've spent too much time working my way into his brain to give up on him entirely.
I know how to make Sims take you up again, if you really want him.
[He hands a glass of something dark and amber to Dorian.]
I have a few books. Worthless, really, they're just Latin grammars. I can enchant one. Tell him you found it in my collection, that you'll give it to him if he signs that contract with you.
I'll keep that in mind. But I want to give him some time first—I've given him everything he wanted. It would be so much more interesting if he chose me of his own free will.
[ He gives Nick a wicked grin before taking a long drink of whatever that dark, amber, liquid is. ]
I like broken things, [ Dorian says, with a little shrug. ] Besides, he gives me what I want. I can put up with plenty of annoyance as long as I get what I want in return.
[ Dorian's eyes sparkle as he takes a drink. He loves talking about all the various people who've gotten his attention here and has absolutely zero shame kissing and telling. ]
God, so many. There's Constance—poor thing was a virgin before she met me. Thelyss tries to hide it, but I suspect there's something deep inside his repression that I can have fun with. Morrigan is...interesting. I don't know if I'd call him broken, but he's another who has potential. Oooh, and Eggsy—that's the one who belongs to your Dorian, the blonde one, but he should be able to share.
[ Dorian doesn't realize just how much 'blonde Dorian should share' are famous last words. ]
The strangest thing though is that the person who's got most of my attention isn't broken at all. Or if he is, he's better at holding it together.
Rafa. He's a vampire. Have you met? He's absolutely delightful.
[ Nick can tell from Dorian's expression that he's downright smitten. Which is a little weird, an expression that Nick hasn't seen Dorian have before. ]
[ Dorian gives Nick a very tense smile. It's a smile that implies there's a lot more behind the story than what he's willing to tell. It's also a smile that heavily implies a large dose of 'watch it, buster.' ]
I'm not in love. Like I said, I don't fall in love. He's just someone of interest.
[ says the man who's falling in love more than he wants to admit. ]
It's not going to bother me. I'm sure that when the next round of arrivals happen, I'm sure to find someone else who captures my attention the way that this man does.
Yes, I do. We're not going to talk about feelings, Nick. I loved once, that went poorly, it's never going to happen again. What else is there to talk about?
[Their contract is officially ended and Jon really should have contacted Dorian about that earlier, but after chasing him around the park and rubbing himself all over the man at the end of last month, he'd needed a little space. There's not much excuse now, though.]
Have you found a new contract? I'd like to be able to inform the management of your residence that I'm no longer vouching for you and someone else is.
I've got STANDARDS, Jon! I'm not going to contract with some random person off the street. Besides, if worst comes to worst, I've got a few Dominant friends who I'm certain will help me out.
I don't remember our contract. Presumably, we had a nice lovely conversation before signing the dotted line.
[ Maybe? He certainly hopes that alt-Dorian had a nice lovely conversation before signing the dotted line cause present-Dorian doesn't remember SHIT. ]
Besides, even when we first met I could tell you're someone who's worth my time.
I said I have a few options. I just need to decide which one to talk to first. Unless of course you want to sign back up with me. You're still my first choice.
You are aware I am metaphysically and physically addicted to Statements? Arousal isn't indicative of enjoyment. I allowed it because I wanted your Statement. And I suppose I was miserable enough to want to make you happy.
[He is going to tarnish this encounter for you, Dorian, damn it!]
During our last encounter, when we were both affected by whatever that was, you protected me. In the one before THAT, when you fucked me, you called me a work of art. You're routinely kind to me, even when I objectively don't deserve it. I thought your Eye was supposed to be all-seeing and all-knowing. Funny how it's letting you live in denial like this.
Work faster. You must have a dozen Doms at a minimum fawning over you. Why is this so difficult? Are you ashamed to ask? That they'll wonder why I didn't renew? Tell them I'm a bastard. It's not a lie.
Do you want to know the most annoying thing about this? It's just four! I've got four or five Doms fawning over me and around ten fucking Submissives! This city is just bleeding with attractive Submissives which would be useful IF I WEREN'T A SUBMISSIVE MYSELF.
[Well, that's... actually not a completely unrelatable problem. There's a pause as Jon considers that the majority of people he's friendly with are Submissives. Who would he feel comfortable asking to contract with him if he were still a Sub, himself? Anya, when she'd been here? Maybe Wolf or Hawke? And they both already have contracts. Beyond that, he'd just be staring down Elias and probably trying to fend him off.]
Four or five is more options than I'd have in your position. If it's any consolation.
A delightful little oddity for someone's collection, then.
[You're not selling him on this, Dorian.]
If I could switch designations with you, I would. Unfortunately, that's not possible, as far as I'm aware. I don't even know why they switched my original designation from a Sub.
By making you unhappy. You seem out of your depth every time I suggest you use your Dominant status to boss me around or fuck with me. You rarely do half the things this city wants Dominants to do. Even though you'd lose the power, it would probably be easier for you to be a Submissive.
Well, what would you do if you were the Dom in this situation?
[Not that Jon would be likely to... do anything Dorian suggested, but a part of him was curious about what the man might do to him if he were being so unruly.]
I'd have a little bit of fun. It all depends on my Sub's comfort, of course. I wouldn't want to break him outright. But I'm sure I can find a way where I can satisfy both our needs but give him a little push to actually get shit done.
[They're speaking in hypotheticals! But... Jon answers anyway.]
Really? You can't think of any reason? Between: - Forcing me into a kiss I was clearly uncomfortable with at our first meeting; - Pissing off my boyfriend repeatedly; - Stealing materials from my archives; - Taking advantage of me for information when I was panicking and terrified; - Mixing a Statement with sex; and - Just being creepy.
Once again, I would like to point out that you weren't dealt the hand you received. And I'm certain that if you could change things, you would. But you can't. The only way to rid oneself of temptation is to yield to it, my dear Jon. It's stupid to martyr yourself and deny yourself the things you like.
That's lovely until you consider that my pleasure comes at the expense of other people. Even you have a heart where that's concerned. Or you'd have done far more to me when I was blind drunk in your bathtub.
[He doesn't actually remember, so Jon... hopes this is true.]
I can rattle off a solid list of humans who would want to hurt or kill people for their own purposes, 1 or 2 of which who would hurt or kill me specifically. Humanity's nothing special. It's just monsters with a different coat of paint.
Call it a matter of volume, then. Every monster I've met in my own world bar one or two has wanted to do horrible things to me. A majority of humans just don't care that I exist.
[The memory of billions of terrified voices screaming in his head as one is in his mind and for a moment, Jon can't respond. He doesn't know what to say. The point pierces through whatever mental barriers he though he'd had. Dorian's going to be waiting a while.]
They're far too terrified to care about me anymore.
The things that torment them consume. There is no out anymore. They drown, they fester, they lose their minds and their faces and still it is not enough. It will never be enough anymore because they cannot die. And they are watched. They are watched by a sky that is no longer a sky, but an endless field of bloodshot eyes.
I'm not sure if they think or they're creatures of pure instinct. I think the Watcher cares for me, but it's possible that's just a very human interpretation of its actions. I'm useful to it. Once that usefulness expires, I don't know what it might do to me.
I don't think I've ever been to this place of yours before.
[ Dorian enters. And, knowing full well that this conversation isn't going to go well, he starts off by leaning in to try and give Rafa a little kiss on the cheek.]
[ Rafa not only lets him, but pulls him into his arms. He kisses him back. ]
I mostly use it for sparring, and for privacy. Come through.
[ He moves back to take Dorian's hand and draw him into the sitting room. Unlike the lounge in Ignacio's house, this one is decorated with cool, clean colours and minimalist furniture. It's very modern. It does have a lit fire, though, despite the summer heat. It's never warm enough for Rafa. He gestures for Dorian to sit. ]
[ Dorian takes a moment to look through the house, eyes flitting over various features and decor as they walk to the sitting room. At Rafa's gesture, Dorian takes a seat...and then instantly wrinkles his nose when he learns what the subject is. ]
Yes, I did. If he came complaining to you about it, you should know that I gave him plenty of time to renew our contract.
[ Rafa looks worried, and Dorian's answer does nothing to diminish that. ]
He's responsible for Jon's apocalypse. He already holds another submissive in a contract against her will, and he is constantly seeking more power. I know your body heals, Dorian, but that is not all he might harm.
What else are you worried he would harm? My mind? My soul? For the first, I plan to stay friends with him and for the second, it's already in possession by someone else. He can't touch me.
[ Dorian reaches over to place his hand on top of Rafa's, giving it a small squeeze. ]
I think it's obvious that Jon has a tendency to...blow things out of proportion. He thinks I'm some sort of horrible monster when we both know it's different.
Rafa, [ Dorian starts, ] I mean this in the kindest way, but you have got to stop taking Jon at face value when it comes to these sort of things. It may be difficult to exaggerate the end of the world, but if doing so would cast aspersions on me or Elias, Jon would exaggerate the hell out of it.
I would take your point if Jon were the only one saying these things. There is Martin as well, and he is not prone to exaggeration. And there is the woman who is his submissive by coercion, who cannot escape from him. They are not all lying.
[ There's a pause as Dorian finds another way to spin this. Because honestly? Not his world, not his problems. Though he knows that's an answer Rafa is not going to like. ]
So why exactly are you telling me all this? I've already made a contract with Elias. I can't take it back even if I wanted to. Afraid he's going to end the world here as well? Because I guarantee you, the moment he attempts to breathe in Jon's direction, that man will watch his every move. Jon's obsessed.
Contracts end. I want you to find someone else when it renews. Anyone else.
[ That's possibly the straightest answer Rafa's ever given anyone when they've asked him what he wants. It's rare for him to ask anything of anyone at all.
He tightly squeezes Dorian's hand. ]
I don't know what he wants here. Neither does Jon. I know that he has hurt countless millions in his own world, and is manipulating his way into control over Jon. I know that he is holding one woman hostage already. I don't want someone I-- [ He breaks, considers his words. ] --someone I care for as much as you to be anywhere near him. I do not want you caught in the crossfire of whatever it is he is doing here.
[ ..............cool, so Dorian is 100% going to straight-up lie to Rafa and not tell him that not only are he and Elias in a permanent contract (it'll cut through the bullshit! No more searching for Dominants! Fuck you, Archivist!) but they're also living together.
He gives Rafa a sweet smile, squeezing Rafa's hand as well, externally giving the vampire a grin while inwardly thinking 'fuuuuuuuck'. ]
Let's not talk about the part where you're worried about me and focus on the part where you admitted to caring about me instead. [ pause. ] I'm teasing, of course. I suspect I'll get caught in the crossfire no matter what thanks to my association with the Archivist, but I'll try to stay out of it as much as I can. For your sake, of course.
You think yourself untouchable, where none of us are. Not here.
[ But he's talking to someone who'd already made a deal with the devil, of course. He doesn't think he's getting through. Why couldn't Jon have just kept that contract! Rafa still believes this wouldn't have happened if not for that. ]
[ Dorian isn't affected by Elias's bullshit Beholding powers. However, his phone is. He pulls out his phone and starts to scroll through a large number of pictures, frowning as he does so. ]
Huh. I could have sworn I had a picture of him. [ And yet, he can't seem to find one in his phone. ] He's blonde? Tall, looks remarkably like a bureaucrat. He's got one of those voices that when you first hear it, a part of you wants to instinctively punch the man.
[ Rafa thinks about it, but frowns and shakes his head. ]
Most do. Not every Dominant could afford a second place for a submissive, and most submissives wish to leave the Down. Dominic never lived with us...but he did not truly belong to Ignacio. More often they live together. This is surprising?
I'm not deflecting questions because he hasn't done anything wrong. As far as I'm concerned, what happened back in someone's homeworld doesn't matter here. The only thing that people could even judge him for is that first contract. And considering that my first contract was made under slightly dubious pretenses, I know how hard it is to break a contract even if you wanted to.
Can you find out if he has any secrets? Things he’s keeping close. Or if he’s doing anything illegal on the side. He might just be a malicious gossip, but I’m willing to stretch it.
He doesn’t know you’re my submissive, I don’t think. Don’t tell him.
Poke into a man's private life, find out his weaknesses, and work on helping to ruin him? How delightful. Of course I can suss out anything important he's keeping to himself.
And don't worry. I'll keep this our little secret.
[ There's a pause as Dorian lets out a small 'hmm,' mulling things over before he decides on, ]
A secret of yours. And nothing small, like how you can't stand a certain food. I want something that if it got out, it would negatively impact you. Something that you haven't told anyone.
[There are several people who deserve personal apologies after his stint at camp. Once Jon's spent a few days getting his paranoia at least a little more under control and feeding on Statements to get back to some semblance of mental stability, he messages Dorian. The man might be a monster, but Jon knows he'd been out of line now.]
I shouldn't have spoken to you like I did at that camp. You were right and you didn't deserve it. Sorry.
It isn't. But I suppose I'll have to accept that. Was that paranoia due to a lack of Eye contact, or is it a fun new trait that you've developed when I was gone?
I've always had issues with paranoia. But the loss of the Eye hit me in a particularly bad way. They're easier to keep under control when I can Know things. Or when I know I can compel someone to answer my questions honestly.
I'm not... right, yet. Better, but going that long cut off, without feeding, isn't healthy for me. I expect Elias is in much the same way, even if he handles it better.
And I'll probably be just as bad then. It's not like I can just make myself not be paranoid. I'll try to remember to avoid you if I get like that again.
I owe you a date, if you still want it. I thought we could do a bit of a ghost tour around the city. End with a picnic at the edge of the forest. Bottle of wine. See if any headless men in carriage come round to murder us.
Things about Jonathan Sims that I think are cute: 1. your dogged determination (but only when it doesn't inconvenience me) 2. the way you blush when I call you cute 3. you can get a little sheepish when you think nobody's looking 4. that thing you do with your hair
[ Dorian is going to just feel inwardly smug the moment he sees Jon with those clips. Yeah, for all that 'I don't like you,' he can tell you at least listen to him and consider what he's talking about buddy ]
If the benefit is looking into supernatural activities? Yes. That's fine. I'm certain you must be aware I'm inexperienced, and you're not missing much when it comes to other benefits.
i'm a seventeen year old who had sex for the first
time when i got here four months ago, and i have no idea what i'm
doing
and the thing is my girlfriend is actually pretty
kinky, it turns out, and right now she thinks i'm cute but i really don't
want that to turn into boring
[ And now Dorian gets why Daphne has this 'if anybody hurts him, I will hurt you just as much in retaliation' feeling around Gar. ]
Of course I can.
So, what do you want? Do you want to discover your own kinks, do you want to learn how to work well with hers, or do you want suggestions that the two of you might like?
Okay let's go from the top. The first thing to know about taking charge is to give someone what they want, but make it so that you're the one giving it to them. For instance, if your girl likes restraints, make her stand still while you tie her up. Or if she likes PIV, tell her that she's the one who's going to lube you up before anything happens.
[that leads to a small squeak because a brothel! in the Down! she hasn't been anywhere near the Down since Seth left.
she manages to stutter out a yes, then goes to get dressed. then she spends about half an hour standing at the door, telling herself she'll be fine going out, she doesn't need an escort, yes, she does, but she finally manages to force herself out.
she never goes out anymore unless Duplicity forces her to. she wishes Merricat would arrive more and more every day.
but, finally she arrives and manages to squeak out Dorian's name and is led up to his room. when she arrives, she knocks hesitantly] Hello?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
un: thearchivist; text (pre-Event)
You absolute bastard!
Bring back my Statement.
That doesn't belong to you.
It's the property of the Magnus Institute!
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I wondered when you'd notice that!
I'll happily bring it back. However, terms and conditions do apply. Answer a few questions of mine and meet me by yourself and I'll hand over the Statement.
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[Martin specifically told him not to do that and he's trying to be good.]
You may ask questions.
That's all.
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1: Do you know how fucking hard it is to find a cassette player in this city? Upgrade your kit.
2: Blackwood is the Lonely. That music was the Slaughter. What are you?
[ Dorian has no idea if Lonely or Slaughter are proper names or not, but he knows that the weight behind whatever the hell Martin Blackwood did was impressive and terrifying enough to deserve a capital letter. Plus, he's extra like that. ]
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[Because magic.]
2: Martin isn't the Lonely. He's an avatar of it. A manifestation of it in human form. Much like those women are likely avatars of the Slaughter. The Archivist serves the Beholding, sometimes called the Eye or the Ceaseless Watcher.
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And being an avatar lets you do the things that you and Blackwood did. Interesting.
Do all the stories you take get assigned to one of your Important Nouns or was I just lucky enough to steal a relevant one?
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Ones that are unclear get their own color.
I also get plenty of tripe that I discard.
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Bring back Henry Rathbone's Statement, fully intact with all pieces of the file, leave it with the building receptionist or Martin, and I'll tell you.
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I'll bring it back tomorrow morning. In case you haven't realized it, it's 3 AM.
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But if you'd like to sleep on it...
How are you sleeping, Dorian?
I did tell you to write it down.
Multiple times, as I recall.
Written Statements only.
I didn't want to collect you.
And I don't have a way to fix this.
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[ Dorian, who regularly employs cryptic bullshit to hide the fact that you know what happened, recognizes said cryptic bullshit when he sees it. ]
Do the dreams happen to every one you use that power on or am I just the lucky one?
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I don't have dreams of my own anymore.
I watch you and everyone else.
So, I try not to sleep much.
[Which is why he's awake and texting at 3 AM. And looked so disheveled at their meeting. He'd fallen into a fitful snooze somewhere around midnight, which is why Dorian got to enjoy his first taste of the nightmares.]
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Were you dreaming what I was dreaming?
[ His nightmares were of 1999, of growing old and decaying, of reliving the same things he told Jon about in his statement, of his flesh falling off, his body withering, and all his hundred-plus years of sins and existence catching up to him in a very body horror sort of way. ]
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You'll probably see me watching sometimes.
I'm sure you felt it, though.
All those eyes watching you.
It really was disgusting.
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But you know something, Archivist? I sold my soul so that people COULD watch me. So that I would always be young and beautiful. So that my hair would never go gray and I'd never have a burn scar on my hand.
So yes, reliving those memories was disgusting. But the watching? Less so. I'll have to choose a better story to tell you next time.
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I'm not taking any more verbal Statements from you.
Are you a masochist or something?
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I want you to look at me like that again, you definitely want my Statements again, we can work something out.
Besides, I've survived worse than your dreams.
[ Which granted, are still absolutely horrible dreams that he'd really not like to go through again ]
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It's a spell effect that I'm trying to get fixed.
I don't get off on that sort of thing.
I don't get off on anything.
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It's okay Johnny, you can admit it.
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Literally all of them were because of one wretched effect or another.
You are not special.
Unless you want to count yourself in the same category as this man.
Who's also left me like that because he was stupid enough to give me a Statement when I told him not to.
[He sends along one of the photos he can grab from Vash's profile.]
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[ Wait, he can see how Jon will answer this, so Dorian VERY QUICKLY ADDS ]
Which I am not, by the way.
And in my defense, you had a tape recorder on the table and didn't lead with 'oh and by the way, this will give you horrific nightmares.' A man can get the wrong impression.
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He is a complete idiot.
And you came to listen to a Statement.
I was going to play one for you.
We did discuss that before you came.
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The problem, of course, is that I adore talking about myself. Combined with you getting a hard-on whenever you hear someone talk about themselves...it gave results that I doubt either of us could plan.
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You're not even my type.
You're too bloody handsome for that.
It's the content of the story.
The supernatural horror.
It's why I asked you what you were most afraid of.
What you gave me with the brand wasn't anything close to satisfying.
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Well.
My memories must be a fucking buffet to you.
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Which is why I can't see you in person.
[Dorian is too delicious.]
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[ especially because Dorian is going to go out of his way to seen Jon out because he's a shit who doesn't care about boundaries. ]
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[A blatant lie, but Dorian couldn't know that.]
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I'll drop the statement off in a few hours, Archivist.
I'll expect a response about which "Dread Power" I lay claim to soon after.
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The Corruption.
The fear of rot, decay, putrescence.
Of toxic tendencies and whatever passes for love within a blackened heart.
Your portrait is a monument to all that grips you with terror, Dorian.
The Corruption would feast on you.
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Not that he'd admit it, of course. And especially not to Jon. ]
How odd. I thought I would be the Changeless or something like that.
Still, Corruption. I suppose I can take it.
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No. Stagnation and unchanging things are more the domain of the Lonely or the Buried.
Based on how you reacted to Martin, I can imagine you'd make a tidy snack for the Lonely.
The Buried?
I really don't know you well enough to say, yet.
But if you're afraid of being trapped, I expect you'd do well enough for it to feed on.
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How many of your powers are there?
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But I believe you owe me something for any further information.
Tell me how your portrait was enchanted.
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There are fourteen Dread Powers.
That's clearly all you wanted to know.
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It was only until after that when I learned the specifics of what I gave up in order to gain that wish.
I didn't make a plan or plot things out or anything like that. The right being was simply listening at the right time.
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I don't think you understand, when I said I sold my soul I literally meant I currently have no soul.
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Yes, well, join the club.
There are a few people here who don't have them.
So, Satan is real in your world.
Or something calling itself Satan.
The rest of the general Christian mythos, as well?
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I've met demons before, but no angels.
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Well, as fun as this is, I have things to be getting on with.
[And he has his Statement back, so...]
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Besides, I'll see you again soon enough. Until then, Archivist.
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I'll have to cast a spell on you so you can work there.
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Not that I would mind meeting you in person—I like being with you. I simply don't know how magic works.
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wanna continue this here or log this baby?
here is fine for the sake of my poor brain
For whatever reason.
By the time Dorian gets to the church, Nick is splay legged on the floor in front of the altar - which he preserved because fucking on the altar of the False God is still a thrill - in a circle of sacred geometry. He has a pile of books next to him, and there are small selection of candles in front of him. ]
Gray.
[He says it but barely looks up from the work he's doing.]
understandable! sick brain is truly the worst. :<
Scratch. I've got to say, you warlocks have mastered the concept of aesthetic.
[ Nick's house, the Gray Room's...everything, Nick's current set up with book and candle, it's pitch perfect ambiance and Dorian adores it.
He walks over towards Nick, taking care not to step too close to the circle, as he squats down to get a better look at the magic involved as well as the title of some of the various books. ]
Magic like this isn't my strongest suit, but if I can help, I want to. What should I do?
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Well, certainly we had the time.
[The books are all in Latin, except the one that's very clearly in Scandinavian runes. Nick doesn't read those very well, but considering the nature of the protection spells he cast, it was necessary to at least try. They're all on topics of gates, except for one of the books on the bottom that has no title.]
Do you have any experience with magic? One of...your versions? Alternate selves? He has no talent at all with magic.
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Versions works. And I'm afraid I'm in the same boat as the non-warlock Dorian. I've had spells cast on me and seen various rituals but I'm afraid I've never participated in any of them.
[ And none of these books are things he's seen before. Pity, but expected. ]
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Magic is as much study as it is skill, but that doesn't mean it's something easily learned, either.
[He hands over one of the candles, fat.]
I'm assuming you're not queasy.
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[ Dorian takes the candle as he looks over at Nick. ]
I'll be fine.
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[The humans candles are probably more difficult for most people, but those aren't exactly used every day, are they?]
I only have two of those, so I don't want them to go to waste.
What do you know about the eighteen charms that Odin learned on the tree?
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My bent is more Greco-Roman but I did spend some time in the 1970s brushing up on my Norse. [ There's an entire story behind the reason why, but Dorian knows it's not the time nor the place. ]
Odin sacrificed his eye and pierced himself with his spear. He hung himself from Yggdrasil, dancing between life and death for nine days and nights before he saw the runes. I don't remember the specific nature of the charms—one of them was to calm storms, I think? As well as to make any woman love him and to turn his weapons against his attackers. But they were all very powerful magic.
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There are two that you should know about specifically. One, is a charm to turn witches away and send them spinning back, so they cannot find their own doors. The second is a secret, because the most powerful charm is a secret that only one person knows.
So.
[He lifts his head.]
The magic I'm layering on my collection hinges on those two charms.
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Is the secret something I have to tell you? I have something in mind, but my Dominant might be a...problem. He has the power to compel you to tell something. He's only used it on me once, but it's still there.
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[There's a pause.]
Jonathan Sims is your Dominant.
[He looks interested by this.]
It's not a secret you know. It's a secret you have, so it should be safe from him. Does he know you're working for me?
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He doesn't know. Sims takes...a rather hands-off approach with me. Truth be told, I think he's a little scared of me.
[ Something that Dorian is just super pleased by. ] I don't mind. I find him interesting.
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[He tips his head just a little to look at Dorian, his mouth slightly pleased.]
He's easy to scare. He's afraid of books.
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Tell me if he ever does something silly like that again. I've got a few things I can threaten him with to set him straight.
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Don't move for a second.
[As he starts tracing, he speaks.]
Sims has no real sense of self-preservation.
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He really doesn't. But he's interesting—his entire Archives is. I want to poke at it and pry it open until I find out how those things really work.
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Well this you should be able to keep from him. You could tell him you know where my library is, but he won't be able to pull the information out of you.
[This is a true level of trust. If Dorian breaks it, Nick will ruin his life.
He holds his hands out, and the words come out in fast, rapid-fire Latin; the incantation makes the circle lift off the ground, until the energy is floating about three feet off the ground.
Nick overlaps his hands, and says the spell again, and the energy rushes towards Dorian.]
He plays with magic he doesn't understand.
[He says it as if he didn't just cast a spell.]
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And unlike me, he's not durable enough to take a hit when that magic decides to bite back. Not that yours will, of course, [ Dorian quickly interjects. ] But I've seen his scars.
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[Once he does, all the other candles go out, and it turns black dark in the church.]
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If this is part of the magic, I hope we can have a little bit of fun in here afterwards. A pitch black room offers so many possibilities.
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[He says it cheerfully enough, and then he reaches and takes Dorian by the hand. Nick has a hand of glory, which doesn't help Dorian much, but it doesn't matter. This is part of the spell.]
I like fucking surrounded by books.
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Shall we do it now or is there still more magic to be done?
[ Dorian's impatience is VERY obvious. ]
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We're not at the library yet.
[He's taking him down a flight of stairs, now, step by slow, agonizing step.]
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[ Dorian's taking the steps as slow as Nick is, though it's obvious he'd rather they both go a little bit faster. ]
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[Because he absolutely, totally can. Well, as long as he's holding a hand of glory, he can, anyway.]
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[ Both for kinky purposes and 'having trouble judging the length of a staircase' purposes. ]
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[He says it, and laughs. A door opens, and he guides Dorian through, and then he takes the candle out of his hand of glory, and the light of it illuminates the room.]
I just know how to get to places.
[They won't have to do this each time. Just the first; Kavinsky's charm already let Dorian in.]
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Mmm, pity. There's so much potential with the idea of seeing in the dark. [ Voyeurism? Sensory deprivation? Just plain really creepy sex? Hell yeah, load him up with that shit. ] Which isn't a slight on you, my dear Nick. It's just yet another way in which this place offers me so many new possibilities.
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[He looks around, and there's a chair - big, and squashy, the leather old and spelled to stay clean, which is mostly because Nick likes to have sex anywhere he wants and he doesn't want to have to clean leather.
He tips his head a little.]
Or maybe you don't.
Maybe you're the opposite. You want it to get deeply kinky.
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[ said with a wide grin on his face. Okay, so 'invented deeply kinky' might be an understatement, but Dorian is certainly the sort not to turn away any fun kinks. ]
And I wouldn't know what a hand of glory was even if it bit me.
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It's a plant, where I come from. You hold it, and light a candle in it's palm, and only you can see the light from the candle.
It's kind of gross, though. They smell like rot. You smell it if you light the candle.
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If it's a plant where you come from, how is it here? Are you just that lucky?
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[Nick finds the entire notion of being able to survive an angel's arrow to the throat almost too strange to reason with. But he saw it happen, so.]
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Even in my world I've met people just as strange as myself. And in Duplicity? What I thought was outstanding turns out to be commonplace.
Cordispondence Gone Awry (Delivered 2/21)
I'm not agreeing to your terms, but here. Use it with anyone you see fit to invite over.
- The Archivist
[The note is real enough. But it had meant to be accompanied by a house-warming tea set. Not. That.]
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Why is he getting nothing but mixed signals from this man. Dorian just stares at the package in utter confusion before he decides to text Jon about it and in true Dorian fashion, be a little bit of a shit in the process. ]
I have to say, this is the most unorthodox housewarming gift I've gotten in a while. Not that I'm complaining, of course, but don't most people simply settle for a bottle of wine?
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If you don't like it, don't use it.
Or send it to me, and I'll make use of it.
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I didn't say that I didn't like it.
[ And then, like IMMEDIATELY AFTER, ]
Who would you even use it with to begin with? Blackwood?
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I don't see why not.
I do like doing nice things for him now and again, and he's usually the one going to the trouble.
I expect Alessandro and Lyall would enjoy it, too.
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Really? I wouldn't have guessed. At least, not for Lyall.
[ The idea of the anthropomorphic personification of the color beige enjoying cat ears just isn't settling right in Dorian's brain. ]
I also wouldn't have guessed that this is your brand
of nice. Look at us, getting to know each other better, as a pair should be doing.
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Are you serious?
[Actually, coming to think on it, Alessandro might actually turn up his nose at a tea set. Bloody Italians and their coffee.]
Of course this is my 'brand.'
What else would it be?
You've met me.
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Do you want me to come over and show you how to use it, or some nonsense like that?
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[ just said without any hesitation ]
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[He has a keeper who's been very firm about seeing this man on his own.]
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I'd rather not deal with the babysitter today.
So how about this. I take a picture of myself using what you gave me, you tell me if I'm doing it right.
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If it will end this conversation, yes.
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Again, I'm confused as to why this showed up on my doorstep this morning (and why you know about this to begin with) but I'm honestly not complaining.
Also, tell me if you like the ribbon or the leather one better. I think I'll make one of them my inside collar and I'll remove the bell on one of them to make it an outside collar.
[ Now this is just Dorian being a grade-A brat and deciding you know what? Dominant gave me a collar, gonna make it my ~official Duplicity collar~ for shits and giggles. ]
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That is not what I sent you! You were supposed to get a tea set! There were bloody blue stripes on the cups. That was all!
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[ but Dorian's getting a kick out of it, so he sends Jon another ridiculous cat ears & collar selfie, this time with one of his hands up by his cheek like, y'know, nya. ]
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[No. No. That is not what he wanted to write to this man.]
As a punishment.
Not willingly.
STOP SENDING ME PICTURES.
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Don't worry, Archivist. I don't kinkshame.
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I do!
You look ridiculous!
Stop it!
You should be ashamed of yourself!
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Btw the ears are adjustable.
[ have another dumb selfie to prove it!]
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YES!
[Those ears are actually... kind of... cute? Jon shoves that thought out of his head.]
It's an order, so STOP.
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Do I at least have permission to wear one of the collars out and about? It's honestly better than the standard issue one.
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Just stop sending pictures.
Find something you like and send me the bill.
I don't make any of my Submissives wear collars.
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I'll text you the bill when I find something.
[ It will be disproportionately expensive. ]
Thank you for the gift, by the way, even if what I received wasn't what you expected. I can honestly say I wasn't expecting anything from you in the first place.
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I came very close to hurting you again.
Sorry.
Don't expect this in the future.
Or anything.
But especially not that.
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My offer still stands. I'm willing to give my Statement if I get what I want in return.
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Martin said no. So, the answer is no.
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I've been trying to do less of that lately.
He's already pissed off at me for something else.
I don't need to add to his stress.
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Because, and I say this as kindly as possible, I suspect your entire existence adds to his stress.
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He makes me want to be human.
He's the one.
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A word of advice: if that's truly the case, then hold onto him no matter what. It's easy to lose one's soulmate and harder to recover from the loss.
[ He hates that he's being so nice but Dorian's got a big old bundle of issues in the form of dead vampire boyfriend. Jon's a pain (and Dorian still isn't sure this relationship might last) but he's a pain that doesn't deserve a round of crippling depression. ]
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I've only ever killed one person, Dorian.
He hurt Martin.
He's the reason Martin's wrapped up in the Lonely.
He kidnapped Martin into the Lonely, tried to brainwash him, and refused to answer my questions, so I ripped his mind and his head apart.
I don't intend to let anyone take him away from me again.
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Good. At least you know how far you'll go. I suspect you'll have to reach that point again some time here.
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I don't want to reach that point again.
What I am doesn't go backwards easily.
Every avatar I've ever known except for one has lost themselves to their patron.
They're cold, cruel.
Most of them delight in what they do.
And they're happy to feed the Fear that feeds them.
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Once you get the idea in your head that you're different, you're better than most people, it's hard to go back. Might as well embrace your nature and all that it entails.
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We're not better.
I'm not better.
If anything, we're worse.
You get so removed from the normal things and you start forgetting how people actually work, how to act like a person, yourself.
I've seen what that looks like from the outside.
It's bad.
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Though really, the best way to act like a person is to be around them. You can pick up on things to mimic that way.
If I had to guess, I'd say your Helen doesn't do that.
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Helen is the Distortion, an avatar for the Spiral.
She became the Distortion a little while after I became the Archivist.
Maybe if I'd been nicer to her?
I don't know.
Helen decided to stop caring about the people she hurt to feed.
She did speak with my staff.
And me.
She's actually sort of an ally?
I mean, she wants to kill me.
Probably.
But she'll wait for the right moment for it.
And I knew Helen Richardson before she was Helen.
She was one of my earliest Statements.
It gets complicated with avatars.
Most of us started out as people.
It's just a matter of not forgetting what we were.
But it's always a choice to become this.
A lot of people who choose it want it.
So, I suppose it's easier for them to give up what they were before.
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[ says the man who started out as a normal person, wanted to be different, and then happily gave up what he was in order to get it ]
It's a good thing I haven't run into any of your lot where I'm from. They might get confused about me and my intentions.
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Some of them might just see you and decide to rearrange your bones and organs for fun.
The Boneturner's always good for a trick there.
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And my intentions would be just to learn. Obviously there's some sort of drama between you avatars if Helen wants to kill you. I don't want to be caught up in it.
Of course, I'll probably end up caught in it anyway.
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If you want to just learn, observe, and watch, you'd certainly get picked out for a servant of the Beholding.
Which would immediately net you a great many enemies, particularly those of the Dark and the Stranger.
The Desolation to an extent, but that's a more... personal grudge against my predecessor by the relevant cult.
You're extremely unusual for the Corruption in my world.
Those avatars delight in their filth and infestation.
They don't try to palm it off to paintings.
Helen doesn't have any particular animosity toward me.
She actually saved my life when the previous Distortion got... wrapped up in old grudges his vessel had.
I say previous.
It's really just a different persona and physical vessel for the same creature.
Most of us with titles have that unfortunate distinction.
I'm the Archivist.
But I'm not the first, and I won't be the last.
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If my options are Corruption or Beholding, then it's easily Corruption.
Do they particularly hate anyone?
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But probably... the Lonely?
They're diametrically opposed in a way.
The Corruption feeds on the need for love, gives its servants what they most crave.
The Lonely is about taking away that love, the bitter emptiness.
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[ who has two thumbs and is scared of Martin, THIS GUY ]
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He got me out of it.
Without you.
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You don't know what you're missing, Dominant. Whether it's sex or Statements, I've got so much potential that you seem intent on ignoring.
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I kissed you on the lips, not the cock. I still want to know how that part of you tastes.
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You're disgusting.
Skin is skin!
Goodbye.
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un: thearchivist; text
Looking for another Dominant.
That sort of thing.
I don't want you coming down to the wire and whining at me that I'm your only option.
Martin might want to get contracted and I can't do that with you hanging about.
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2. Have Tarabotti and Lyall gotten this speech or am I the only one?
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And a hangeroner.
And a snake.
[So much better.]
I may be keeping my contracts with Alessandro and Lyall.
So, no.
Martin doesn't have a problem with them.
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Calling someone a snake is a grand way to get them to keep their Statements to themselves. I thought you wanted to hear about my arrangement with the devil?
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You know what you are.
And you're fine with being called annoying and a hangeroner, but you draw the line at snake?
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[ because yeah, they both know that Dorian's a total pill. ]
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Are you saying you'll only give me your Statement if I'm nice to you?
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I'll happily give you my Statement but like I said earlier, I want something in return. I'm flexible on the terms so come on, Archivist. Make me an offer.
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It doesn't count if the answer is 'I had surgery.'
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I have one of them with me here, actually.
I keep it in my desk at home.
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Can I see it?
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When you bring me your next Statement, yes.
It's a rib, not terribly exciting.
Although, he did say it was a funny one when he was taking it out.
Make of that what you will.
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Blackwood won't be happy about this to begin with. It's best we keep it our little secret.
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The only thing you're going to touch is my rib.
And we're meeting for no more than 30 minutes.
Agreed?
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30 minutes it is. Pick a place or I'll pick one for you.
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I'll reserve a room at one of the libraries in the Up.
When I have the booking, I'll send along the details.
Tomorrow afternoon?
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>action
The door opens, and the Archivist nearly jumps out of his skin, dropping his phone on the floor as he whirls around.]
Finally. Let's make this quick.
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Jon can tell that there's a Statement in Dorian's inner coat pocket. He gives Jon a smiiiile before sitting down in one of the conference room chairs. ]
I'll keep things within the time limit, I just want to ask a few questions first. [ and nope, not even gonna give Jon a chance to protest as Dorian continues talking. ] What will actually happen with the Statement I give you? Will it go in your files with all the rest?
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I'll record it, obviously. Statements from program participants go into a private collection. I don't allow anyone but myself access.
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He's obviously thinking things over. Stalling for time, Dorian nods then continues talking. ]
Show me your rib and tell me your story first.
cw: mentions of self-harm/attempted dismemberment
The full story would take far more than thirty minutes, but the abridged version is that I needed to rescue someone from an evil coffin after she was thrown inside, and I required an anchor to find my way back out of it. I'd just read a Statement that seemed to indicate the flesh was a powerful anchor.
I-I tried cutting off a finger, but it wouldn't stick. It hurt, but no matter how many times I cut it off, whenever I took the knife away, it was still attached. One of my assistants caught me at it and offered an... alternative. There is an avatar of the Flesh known as the Boneturner. He and his minions had attacked the Institute while I was... away for a bit, and Helen... the Distortion--another avatar--she'd captured the Boneturner within a sort of- pocket dimension? It's essentially a hell maze where the Distortion sends people to slowly go mad with terror and die. Sort of like a stomach.
It's an unpleasant place. In any case, she'd been keeping Jared--the Boneturner--locked up in there and let me go into speak with him. I offered him a deal. I needed him to take out a rib, and I'd have Helen let him out. He has a particular ability that lets him reach into a body and pull out anything he wants without ripping a person open. Like-like they're made of... jelly or something. He also had a Statement I wanted. He offered to give it to me for another rib. One for him, one for me, and Helen lets him out the door.
And that's why I have that rib and a rather more hourglass-shaped figure than I used to have.
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There's a hundred questions that enter Dorian's mind. Why would Helen help you? How did the Flesh attack the Institute? If Jon had both of his bottom ribs removed, could he suck his own dick? Admittedly, a few of those questions were more useful than others. There's a moment's pause before Dorian sets the rib down, gently in front of Jon. ]
Did it hurt?
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Indescribably. But it did what it needed to.
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And thinking about how he's got to uphold his end of the deal and what sort of move he'll take next. ]
It was smart of you to choose a rib. If I had to take a guess, I'd say that bones don't...grow the way that organs do.
[ There is DEFINITELY a story behind this. ]
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[And speaking of, there's one sitting on the table now. It's unclear when it arrived there, but Jon certainly hadn't taken one out.]
You've mentioned your regenerative abilities. You've not had to regrow bones?
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[ There's a decided emphasis on that as Dorian gestures towards Jon's rib. Because seriously, that's strange. Even for Dorian 'I've seen so much bullshit in my life' Gray, that's a little odd. ]
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It's not something I've missed. And far better than losing a finger, on the whole.
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[ Is he mostly talking about body horror to delay him talking about the Devil? Got it in one. ]
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[Jon stares pointedly at where he knows it's waiting.]
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[ Dorian pauses for a moment, as if collecting himself. He takes a deep breath before placing his hands at his side. ]
I know you said that no one else would see the written Statement, but honestly? I don't know if I trust you on that. I want this to remain a secret, Jon, and the more places it's written down, the more people can learn about it.
[ It's already going to be on that tape recorder. Dorian doesn't think there's anything he can do about it. But he can tell Jon the story instead of giving it to him. That should be enough.
What's one more round of horrific nightmares compared to what he's already got? Dorian can handle it. He hopes. ]
So I'm going to tell you it instead. This is the story of Dorian Gray and the last time I encountered Lucifer himself.
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But then, why else would a tape recorder have turned up and clicked on? It knows.]
Stop. Stop! Stop... I- the nightmares. That's- you will have nightmares about this. For the rest of our mutual existence. Do you actually want that?
[The Archivist wants this. It's taking a great deal of willpower at the moment to say anything, and some of his protests may be a bit undercut by how hungrily he's staring at Dorian.]
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Of course, then Jon has to go and open his mouth and try to stop him. ]
Jon, when I say that I don't want anybody else to know about this, I mean I don't want anybody else to know about this. [ Dorian snaps, doing a terrible job of hiding his irritation. Of course, that begs the question as to why he'd tell Jon about it in the first place. ]
I've already got nightmares thanks to you and to my own choices. I can stand another.
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No one will- No one else has to-
[Jon starts patting his pockets down, looking for his phone. He should call Martin, ask him to confirm that this is okay. Dorian is offering it. This wasn't what he'd expected to get in trade for his own story. His phone seems to be missing, though. Where did it- Ah, he'd dropped it.
In spite of the fact that he needs to keep looking, Jon just continues to gaze at Dorian, leaning in a little toward him, eyes unblinking.]
Do you actually want to tell me this story?
[There's power laced through that question, a demand for truth from those beautiful lips.]
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[ Which naturally means that Martin's going to learn about this at some point. Dorian doesn't seem to realize that, though. ]
Besides, I like the idea of being in your mind. It means you'll never be rid of me.
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[He's especially like one of them with that last line.]
It- You didn't tell me you were going to do this. I thought you were just giving me something written.
[He's not actually telling the other man to stop, though, and the effort to resist when Dorian is there just offering himself on a silver platter is wearing him down. This is the point where he should really call Martin.]
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[ He's been called worse things than awful. Though he's not sure whether to be flattered or disgusted by that avatar comparison. For all the joking that Dorian's made about where he fits in those Powers, it's a bit different to hear it directly from Jon. ]
Honestly, I was just planning on giving you the written statement. But then, after a very stressful week, you ring me up just to say 'by the way, might want to start looking for someone else.' We've still got a month left, Jon! You can't get rid of me that easily.
[ It doesn't matter that they haven't really done anything. It doesn't matter that their Dominant and Submissive relationship is just the bare minimum. What matters is that Jon seems all too eager to pawn him off on someone else and Dorian just hates that. ]
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[Good. Yes, good. Argument. He could distract himself from need screaming from his chest for that Statement with a good argument.]
I was pre-empting you trying to lie about anything. Because you seem like the sort. Good. Make sure you talk to them about contract terms so you're ready for the shift. I already see you in your nightmares. Why would you want to double that?
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[ It's just that there's a vast difference between 'like as a friend' and 'like as a curiosity that he wants to figure out.' Dorian seethes for a bit: he can tell that his voice is rising and he knows he should take a moment to try and calm down. After all, they are still in a library. ]
And I want to double that because I want to see how you look at me when I give you the best Statement you'll ever get. I remember how you looked at me the last time I brought Lucifer up. You want this.
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You want me to look at you like I want to eat you?
[He assumes that's more or less how he looks.]
Because that's what's happening here, Dorian. We're not having a chat, I'm feeding on you. Your horror. Collecting another piece of you for the Watcher. People aren't supposed to want that!
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When you look at me, it's like I'm the most interesting person in the world. Even earlier, when I first mentioned giving a verbal statement, you looked at me with nothing but want in your eyes. That's what I want.
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[This is not the moment to have an identity crisis.]
B-because the Archivist needs you. Stories like yours.
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If you need me, Archivist, then stop turning me away.
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[He doesn't want to turn the other man way. He wants what the other man is offering so badly, trying to resist a monstrous nature.]
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You keep making these protestations and yet you agreed to meet me here, alone, knowing full well who I am and what I might do, while looking at me like that. You're tempted. And the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
[ don't mind Dorian as he quotes part of The Picture of Dorian Gray like an absolute jackass ]
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[There's quiet fury in Jon's voice and for just a moment, his form is one of eyes and void like the nightmares. He can remember the conversations with Daisy, talking her down. 'Don't listen to the blood, listen to the quiet.' But it's not his blood singing. It's not a burning, prickling sensation in his skin like Jude. Or maybe a stomach-dropping sensation for Mike. His mind cries out for the knowledge. Curiosity that's his own and something else's intermixed, bound so tightly he can't tell where the human ends and the Archivist's instincts start. Or if there's any difference anymore.]
I want... I want your Statement. That doesn't mean I should- I can't. I need to be more human. For Martin. We talked about this. Every time I give into it, a piece of that goes away.
[He's starving and Dorian's kind of Statement would be a perfect meal. Something like this, a verbal one, it would fill him up for at least a day or two. He'd be in a better place to be supportive of his boyfriend.]
Not all of us want to be monsters. Did you?
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Besides, Jon can still be together with Martin even if he's a horrifying eye monster that feeds on information, right? Maybe? ]
It doesn't matter what you want, [ Dorian says, with a little wave of his hand, straight up ignoring Jon's question to him. ] Do you think the cancer patient wanted his disease? What matters is that you deal with the hand you're dealt.
Besides, you tried to chop off your finger and let this...'Boneturner' take out two of your ribs. The more we talk, the less it seems you're trying to hold onto your humanity in the first place.
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"You never wanted this, no. But I’m afraid you absolutely did choose it. In a hundred ways, at a hundred thresholds, you pressed on. You sought knowledge relentlessly, and you always chose to see."
Except a cancer patient doesn't have a choice in what happened to them. Jon has had every opportunity to turn back, to turn away from this, his nature. But he rarely has.]
That was to save someone. Daisy was trapped. I had to get her out.
[Except he hadn't had to do anything. Basira had told him not to. He'd jumped head first into that coffin as much to alleviate his own sense of uselessness, helplessness, as anything else. And it had played directly into Elias' hands. Jon covers his face.
He's breaking. He's going to break and give into this. He should have told Martin, regardless of what Dorian wants. A part of him had always known this was a possibility, and he'd come anyway.]
I just want to help people... If I have these powers then, I- What's the point of them--[of him existing as this horrible creature]--if I... don't?
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He watches Jon as he talks, taking in the man's and despair at the situation. ]
The point is that you've been dealt a bad hand. That's it. Nothing more. There's no grand purpose to these sort of things and if you think there is one, you'll be horribly disappointed. The only thing that matters is the choice between accepting your circumstances or fruitlessly fighting against it at every turn.
[ There's a seriousness to his tone as he talks. Dorian might not have Jon's exact experience, but he knows some of what he's talking about. ]
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[No. No. That is not an admission to make to Dorian Gray, of all people. Jon clams up, shoulders going stiff. He feels trapped in this room. Unable to will himself to leave. Knowing he should. There's the sensation of hot tears prickling at the edges of his vision as he holds his breath. Do not have a breakdown in this room. Of all the bloody times.]
Tell me your story. Tell me, Dorian Gray.
[His hands fall away. Jon doesn't want Dorian to hone in on that, needle the truth out, so it's going to be this. Compelling him so he can't distract.]
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I've met Lucifer many times over my life. More often than not, he speaks his intentions through other. Demons, monsters, an old flame of mine that he decided to rudely possess. But the most recent time we chatted was the most personal yet.
[ Jon's innate storytelling compulsions with Dorian's flowery narrative tendencies work well together. Dorian leans back in his chair, further away from Jon, as he continues to talk. ]
It's funny you should mention saving someone: that's how this story starts as well. An old acquaintance of mine was trapped. The only way to save her was to exchange my soul for hers. And, in a misguided attempt at altruism fueled by a terrible depression, I did just that. I stabbed my portrait. I suspect if I didn't have the exchange, it would have outright killed me. But instead, my soul became trapped inside the portrait. I spent the next two years alone, staring out of that canvas, reliving all my memories and trapped alone with all my regrets.
Two years is a long time to be trapped alone with one's thoughts. I wasn't in Hell but I might as well be. Near the end of that time, he came to me again. [ Dorian doesn't need to specify who. It's obvious enough from the context. ] He offered me a chance at life again. All I had to do was exchange some lives for my own. One for my voice, one for my body, one for my youth.
I eagerly accepted. And I got my chance when three trespassers decided to break into my house.
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The library, the world fades away and it's just the two of them.]
cw straight up murder
Lucifer gave me the ability to leave my portrait, rendering it a blank canvas. After all, it's not like I could kill people while stuck in there, could I. He also made the house...haunted is probably the best way to describe it. The house was my prison and my plaything all at the same time. At first, I was just a ghost. I could manipulate the answering machine, lock the doors, but I couldn't actually do much. That is, not until I lured the first trespasser into the shadows which consumed him.
The first death gave me my voice back and I was able to talk through the phone lines. I convinced the second trespasser to abandon his friend and go to the fire escape off the roof. Unfortunately for him, the fire escape wasn't that sound. It broke underneath the second trespasser, giving him a very nasty fall.
The second death gave me my body back. I could walk around, though I was that horrible thing represented in my portrait. [ His actual self. ] I convinced the third trespasser to go to the attic. She was...kind. Too kind enough for her own good. I convinced her to kiss me. That was enough for me to drain her youth, restoring me to my current beauty.
[ Dorian settles back in his chair, giving Jon a little nod to say that he was finished. ]
I was given the option to kill one more person and get a soul from them. But I never really needed that to begin with. The devil hasn't spoken to me since.
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Statement ends.
Do you regret it? Any of it?
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[ which Dorian is VERY bitter about. He had heard of 'no good deed goes unpunished' but those two years stuck in his portrait were a living hell Dorian could never have expected. ]
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I don't think it was. You saved someone. That's... rarely is that a mistake. You might not have liked what came after, but it wasn't a mistake what you did in the first place.
[It's what he's told himself sometimes, anyway, when the misery about what had happened to Tim or saving Daisy or any other thing crosses his mind.]
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And those people I killed? They were so young. Stupid twenty-somethings, with so much potential, who's only crime was to break into the wrong house at the wrong time. Their deaths happened because I made a foolish attempt at altruism.
[ There's a part of this dilemma that Dorian is overlooking. He didn't have to kill those people. But, at least in his mind, he totally did. What else could he have done, just accepted his own personal hell? ]
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[It's unfortunate that Jon can also relate to being stuck in a personalized hell and wanting to get out. He didn't have to kill anyone for that to happen, but after two years... he might have.]
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I think I can guess. That still doesn't mean it was needed. It's what you wanted.
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[ This isn't always 100% true. But in Dorian's mind, it's true enough for him to make blanket statements like this. ]
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[He's going to try to make himself tell Martin.]
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I'll make sure to have a lovely story for you when you return. Maybe ghosts? Or perhaps the time I took on the body of someone else.
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Fuck. Well, he can always bother him next time. ]
un: thearchivist; text
One of them is complaining to me about you.
[The irony of this statement is not lost on Jon in the slightest.]
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[ says the person who stalks people. ]
Who's complaining to you?
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A man call Essek.
He said you've been telling people you're his Submissive to break into his house.
Stop it.
He's said he's going to teach you a lesson, if you don't, which I assume involves a significant amount of pain, followed by reporting you to the authorities.
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And I wasn't even myself at the time!
It was earlier, after the blizzard, when people were affected by something.
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What are you doing to him?
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I actually tried to apologize, believe it or not.
I suspect he's contacting you because he's got a stick up his ass the size of an entire tree.
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Leave him alone.
He doesn't want to talk to you.
If you need some incentive, I can buy you something you want if you can at least leave off until our contract expires and I don't have to be the 'authority figure' in your life.
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And you don't have to bribe me to leave him alone.
I'll continue to talk to him, but until we're not contracted, I can try to keep my distance.
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The paranoia swirls through his mind. At least Dorian is the evil that he knows. Essek is a stranger, a blank space.]
Tell me more about Essek.
Why were you stalking him in the first place?
Is he dangerous?
Are you in danger?
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Before I answer this question, were you affected by whatever that was after the blizzard?
Because if not, I've got more to explain than you realize.
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He stole my heart.
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Whatever that was made me needier. I didn't want to let anyone out of my sight and I took rejection absolutely poorly.
[ says the person who takes rejection poorly on a regular basis. ]
Rest assured, I still would have bothered Thelyss if he rejected me when I was myself. But during that time, all I could think about was making him mine, no matter the consequences.
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[Says one needy man to another.]
Can you just not bother people who reject you?
A personal boundary isn't actually a challenge.
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I'm perfectly fine leaving Thelyss alone otherwise.
[ this is a goddamn lie ]
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I'm not actually a moron and I can read.
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[ he'll just bother him in public ]
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He's already attacked you?
Or he attacked you when you were breaking into his house?
[Those are two very different things.]
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He used this spell to hold me in place. I couldn't speak, couldn't move, the whole thing felt absolutely terrifying.
I know that I broke in but honestly, that's taking things too far. And it's not like I could explain myself when again, couldn't speak. I don't know how long he would have held me if Caleb wasn't there.
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You know Frumpkin's person?
I can't say I'm surprised he helped you.
He seems like an absolute pushover.
And far too trusting.
I'd say being held frozen is probably the least like being attacked possible.
It's no worse than tying you up and gagging you.
Good to know that sort of thing can make an impression on you, though.
I'll bear that in mind.
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[ The one thing Dorian and Jon can agree on: cats are cool, yo. ]
It would have made an impression on you if you were in my shoes. It's one thing to say it, it's another to experience it.
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You've been trapped in a painting for 2 years and you couldn't handle a few minutes?
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I'm happy to draw up that paperwork with one of the local contract officials here in the Up.
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[ bitch bitch bitch! moan moan moan! ]
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It's so hard to tell with text.
Pity.
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And two, he's not my Dominant any more. Our contract expired earlier this month. But I'll come Up and see you soon.
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[Nevermind. He's summoning Gray, because fuck boundaries. A moment later Dorian is there, in Nick's bedroom, right in between Nick's hands. He looks at him for a moment.]
Don't puke.
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To answer your question, yes, I don't have a contract at the moment—I'm not worried, though. There are two people I'm working over. One of them should hopefully be good contract material.
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[There's a a dog - a small, cream-colored French bulldog - that gets up from it's little bed to investigate Dorian.]
I hope no one who'll make a fuss about you working with me.
[He's shocked Sims didn't. He gets up and goes to pour them both a glass of something strong and dark.]
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[ Dorian bends down to offer his hand to the dog, letting it sniff him before he gives the dog a few ear scratches. ]
Of course, if Sims were to offer to take me up again, I wouldn't say no. I've spent too much time working my way into his brain to give up on him entirely.
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I know how to make Sims take you up again, if you really want him.
[He hands a glass of something dark and amber to Dorian.]
I have a few books. Worthless, really, they're just Latin grammars. I can enchant one. Tell him you found it in my collection, that you'll give it to him if he signs that contract with you.
[Nick shrugs.]
He would probably wet himself to destroy it.
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I'll keep that in mind. But I want to give him some time first—I've given him everything he wanted. It would be so much more interesting if he chose me of his own free will.
[ He gives Nick a wicked grin before taking a long drink of whatever that dark, amber, liquid is. ]
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[It's bourbon; smooth and easy to drink, just like Nick likes it best.]
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Did he enjoy it or did he make noises about his asexuality the entire time?
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[Nick isn't one to really want his friends to hate other people for him, so don't get him wrong: that isn't what this is.]
The reason my library involves all the security it does is because of him. I don't know if I would say broken as much as deranged.
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If he tries to do that again, tell me. I'll set him straight.
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Okay.
[He takes a moment, though.]
What other broken things have your attention?
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God, so many. There's Constance—poor thing was a virgin before she met me. Thelyss tries to hide it, but I suspect there's something deep inside his repression that I can have fun with. Morrigan is...interesting. I don't know if I'd call him broken, but he's another who has potential. Oooh, and Eggsy—that's the one who belongs to your Dorian, the blonde one, but he should be able to share.
[ Dorian doesn't realize just how much 'blonde Dorian should share' are famous last words. ]
The strangest thing though is that the person who's got most of my attention isn't broken at all. Or if he is, he's better at holding it together.
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[He laughs, and laughs again. Satan in Hell.]
Who got the most of your attention, then?
[He relaxes, gently, because Nick is fairly certain that it isn't him, unless Dorian is lying.]
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[ Nick can tell from Dorian's expression that he's downright smitten. Which is a little weird, an expression that Nick hasn't seen Dorian have before. ]
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[He gives Dorian a look, and he almost leans forward.]
Are you in love?
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[ So Dorian thinks. He bristles slightly before finishing off his glass of bourbon and pushing the empty glass towards Nick. Another. ]
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Dorian, he's a vampire. Isn't that who immortals are supposed to fall in love with?
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I'm not in love. Like I said, I don't fall in love. He's just someone of interest.
[ says the man who's falling in love more than he wants to admit. ]
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[He says it, tipping his chin up a little.]
On your end, of course. He could stay as obsessed as you want him.
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[ He hopes. He really, really hopes ]
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[Siiiiiiiiiiiip.]
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[ Maybe if he distracts Nick a little bit then they'll stop talking about stupid topics like 'Dorian's feelings.' ]
I'm sure you've got a spell in your arsenal that can produce some rope.
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You don't have to change the subject.
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[ sulk sulk sulk! pout pout pout! ]
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[He tops Dorian off.]
So who have you thoroughly corrupted, then? There has to be someone.
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[ Dorian takes a sip from his glass before asking, ]
What about you? Do you have any projects in mind?
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Eyelashes for days.
[Pretty thing. Nick just.
Wants to wreck him.]
He thinks he's straight.
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I haven't met him yet, but I'll keep an eye out. If you want any help training him, you know who to call.
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[Everyone should want to wreck Billy. He's practically oozing testosterone that it makes him an easy target.]
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Though I'd make a very attractive person to be sawed in half.
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I won't argue that. I'm pretty good at sawing people in half.
[He has some serious stage magician chops.]
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un: thearchivist; text
Have you found a new contract?
I'd like to be able to inform the management of your residence that I'm no longer vouching for you and someone else is.
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I'm not worried though.
[ says the man who really, honestly should be. ]
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I told you to get this sorted months ago.
I'm not going to be your de facto Dom for however long you feel like it.
[He... probably will. Kicking Dorian out of his home isn't something Jon is prepared to do.]
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Besides, if worst comes to worst, I've got a few Dominant friends who I'm certain will help me out.
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[... Presumably. Jon wasn't exactly there for it.]
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[ Maybe? He certainly hopes that alt-Dorian had a nice lovely conversation before signing the dotted line cause present-Dorian doesn't remember SHIT. ]
Besides, even when we first met I could tell you're someone who's worth my time.
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Find someone by the end of next week.
I'm cutting you off after that and you can go back to the public Sub housing.
[There's no teeth behind that threat, but he can pretend at it to light a fire under the other man.]
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[ says the man who knows he's been manipulative at best and also suspects Jon isn't actually going to cut him off. ]
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Like I told you to.
In March.
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Unless of course you want to sign back up with me. You're still my first choice.
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You seemed terrified last time we met in person.
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If you don't judge me on that last time, I won't judge you.
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I'm not contracting with you again.
Stalling on another contract won't make me change my mind.
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Our contract wasn't bad. I stayed out of trouble. I kept you fed. I even helped you make quota a few times.
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I have plenty of written Statements to keep me fed.
And I don't need help with quota.
What happened was a mistake.
I won't be repeating it.
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Arousal isn't indicative of enjoyment.
I allowed it because I wanted your Statement.
And I suppose I was miserable enough to want to make you happy.
[He is going to tarnish this encounter for you, Dorian, damn it!]
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'Miserable enough to want to make me happy.' What bullshit.
You LIKE me. You don't want to admit it, but you do.
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Considering one of them has cursed me and the other has tortured me.
It's not a high bar to clear.
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I thought your Eye was supposed to be all-seeing and all-knowing. Funny how it's letting you live in denial like this.
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How the hell is that kind?
[If he just ignores the rest of that, it doesn't count, right?]
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I will do it.
I can do it any time I'd like.
I just haven't got around to it.
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I don't know why you're being so difficult with yourself.
It's not a crime to admit you like someone's company.
You're my friend, Jon.
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And if you think we are, then I'm asking you, as a friend, to go and find another blasted contract!
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You must have a dozen Doms at a minimum fawning over you.
Why is this so difficult?
Are you ashamed to ask?
That they'll wonder why I didn't renew?
Tell them I'm a bastard.
It's not a lie.
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It's just four!
I've got four or five Doms fawning over me and around ten fucking Submissives!
This city is just bleeding with attractive Submissives which would be useful IF I WEREN'T A SUBMISSIVE MYSELF.
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Four or five is more options than I'd have in your position.
If it's any consolation.
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You're not exactly a conventional catch, but you're interesting enough that I'm sure you'd find someone.
[ says the man who doesn't know that Jon literally has like two Dom friends. ]
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[You're not selling him on this, Dorian.]
If I could switch designations with you, I would.
Unfortunately, that's not possible, as far as I'm aware.
I don't even know why they switched my original designation from a Sub.
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That seems unlikely.
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You seem out of your depth every time I suggest you use your Dominant status to boss me around or fuck with me.
You rarely do half the things this city wants Dominants to do.
Even though you'd lose the power, it would probably be easier for you to be a Submissive.
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Maybe I don't act like a Dom with you because I know you'll like it too much.
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I doubt it's Lyall.
It CERTAINLY isn't Tarabotti.
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It is Lyall, actually.
All the time.
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That actually does make a bit of sense.
He seems a little repressed.
[ Dorian has had....literally all of one conversation with Lyall BUT HEY, THAT'S NEVER STOPPED SNAP JUDGMENTS BEFORE ]
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He's not repressed.
It's all very open.
And respectful.
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Easily attainable, yet still dull.
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That as it may be, it proves I can Dom someone if I want to.
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You'll have to live forever in torment.
Not all of us are keen to flaunt that sort of thing.
And leave Lyall alone about it.
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Isn't that dominating you enough?
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[Not that Jon would be likely to... do anything Dorian suggested, but a part of him was curious about what the man might do to him if he were being so unruly.]
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It all depends on my Sub's comfort, of course. I wouldn't want to break him outright. But I'm sure I can find a way where I can satisfy both our needs but give him a little push to actually get shit done.
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[ that's not an answer. ]
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Really?
You can't think of any reason?
Between:
- Forcing me into a kiss I was clearly uncomfortable with at our first meeting;
- Pissing off my boyfriend repeatedly;
- Stealing materials from my archives;
- Taking advantage of me for information when I was panicking and terrified;
- Mixing a Statement with sex; and
- Just being creepy.
You can't think of anything?
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[ Just not gonna talk about the rest of that..... ]
I still don't get what your hangup about the Statement and sex thing is. You liked it.
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It's bad enough how good it feels just getting a verbal Statement!
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Would you like to revisit that consideration?
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And I'm certain that if you could change things, you would.
But you can't. The only way to rid oneself of temptation is to yield to it, my dear Jon. It's stupid to martyr yourself and deny yourself the things you like.
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Even you have a heart where that's concerned.
Or you'd have done far more to me when I was blind drunk in your bathtub.
[He doesn't actually remember, so Jon... hopes this is true.]
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Trust me Jon, I've done much worse to others.
[ who has two thumbs and accidentally drove someone to suicide, this guy. ]
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Shall we count that as another reason you make me uncomfortable?
I'm trying to stay human, Dorian.
Metaphorically, if not physically.
You don't exactly encourage that.
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Usually?
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Humanity's nothing special. It's just monsters with a different coat of paint.
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Every monster I've met in my own world bar one or two has wanted to do horrible things to me.
A majority of humans just don't care that I exist.
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Their tune would change the moment the world learned about your Eye.
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They're far too terrified to care about me anymore.
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Is this about the Apocalypse thing? This might be about the Apocalypse thing.
Shit. ]
Of course people care about the things that scare them. They care and hope they won't ever see them again.
At least, most people do.
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There is no out anymore.
They drown, they fester, they lose their minds and their faces and still it is not enough.
It will never be enough anymore because they cannot die.
And they are watched.
They are watched by a sky that is no longer a sky, but an endless field of bloodshot eyes.
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This is interesting and wonderfully creepy but also what the fuck ]
Big Brother is quite literally watching you.
And it's better to be wary of the immediate danger than the big all-powerful eye in the sky.
Am I right?
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[He's trying to get himself under control and rein it in a bit.]
There are things that are closer.
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Eventually, you'd imagine the Eye would get bored.
What does it do when what it sees are things it's seen already?
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Its avatars are more in danger of that.
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That's why everything that can think seeks out exciting things at some point in their lives.
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I think the Watcher cares for me, but it's possible that's just a very human interpretation of its actions.
I'm useful to it.
Once that usefulness expires, I don't know what it might do to me.
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Stay useful.
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[He's pulled himself together enough to get back on track.]
I expect you to contact me when you have your new contract.
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[ cause he's a pain ]
un: rafa
we need to talk
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[ it's the Elias thing, isn't it. It's totally the Elias thing. ]
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[ It is completely about that. ]
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can you come to my house
[ The address he sends him is notably not Samguinem Domus where he lives, but another building in another street. When he says privacy, he means it. ]
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[ And so, Dorian starts to make his way to Rafa's place. ]
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Thank you. Come in, please.
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[ Dorian enters. And, knowing full well that this conversation isn't going to go well, he starts off by leaning in to try and give Rafa a little kiss on the cheek.]
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I mostly use it for sparring, and for privacy. Come through.
[ He moves back to take Dorian's hand and draw him into the sitting room. Unlike the lounge in Ignacio's house, this one is decorated with cool, clean colours and minimalist furniture. It's very modern. It does have a lit fire, though, despite the summer heat. It's never warm enough for Rafa. He gestures for Dorian to sit. ]
Jon told me you signed a contract with Elias.
[ He's not going to dance around it. ]
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Yes, I did. If he came complaining to you about it, you should know that I gave him plenty of time to renew our contract.
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[ There are always new worries for Jon. They always escalate. They are increasingly impossible to do anything about.
No, Jon had mentioned Dorian only in passing. It's Rafa who's worried about him.
He comes to sit beside him. ]
Why Elias, Dorian? There are hundreds of other Dominants, known of whom have done what you know that man has.
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There's so much about this man that's downright enticing. I want to figure out how he works.
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[ Rafa looks worried, and Dorian's answer does nothing to diminish that. ]
He's responsible for Jon's apocalypse. He already holds another submissive in a contract against her will, and he is constantly seeking more power. I know your body heals, Dorian, but that is not all he might harm.
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You truly think he is no risk to you?
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From what Jon says, he does not see peers. We are all pawns to him,
Dorian, if he does you some harm...
[ He reaches to touch his hand. ]
You do not understand. He could do it only to hurt Jon, and for no other reason.
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I think it's obvious that Jon has a tendency to...blow things out of proportion. He thinks I'm some sort of horrible monster when we both know it's different.
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I know that. And you are not, of course. But in this case...it is difficult to exaggerate the end of the world. I do not want hell on earth. Do you?
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I would take your point if Jon were the only one saying these things. There is Martin as well, and he is not prone to exaggeration. And there is the woman who is his submissive by coercion, who cannot escape from him. They are not all lying.
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So why exactly are you telling me all this? I've already made a contract with Elias. I can't take it back even if I wanted to. Afraid he's going to end the world here as well? Because I guarantee you, the moment he attempts to breathe in Jon's direction, that man will watch his every move. Jon's obsessed.
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[ That's possibly the straightest answer Rafa's ever given anyone when they've asked him what he wants. It's rare for him to ask anything of anyone at all.
He tightly squeezes Dorian's hand. ]
I don't know what he wants here. Neither does Jon. I know that he has hurt countless millions in his own world, and is manipulating his way into control over Jon. I know that he is holding one woman hostage already. I don't want someone I-- [ He breaks, considers his words. ] --someone I care for as much as you to be anywhere near him. I do not want you caught in the crossfire of whatever it is he is doing here.
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He gives Rafa a sweet smile, squeezing Rafa's hand as well, externally giving the vampire a grin while inwardly thinking 'fuuuuuuuck'. ]
Let's not talk about the part where you're worried about me and focus on the part where you admitted to caring about me instead. [ pause. ] I'm teasing, of course. I suspect I'll get caught in the crossfire no matter what thanks to my association with the Archivist, but I'll try to stay out of it as much as I can. For your sake, of course.
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You know that I do.
[ He reaches to touch his cheek. ]
You think yourself untouchable, where none of us are. Not here.
[ But he's talking to someone who'd already made a deal with the devil, of course. He doesn't think he's getting through. Why couldn't Jon have just kept that contract! Rafa still believes this wouldn't have happened if not for that. ]
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I know I am.
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Physically.
[ Rafa knows that's not all there is. He's already seen the evidence. He shifts closer to take Dorian's face between his hands. ]
If he does you harm, I swear I will make him pay for it. Jon has forced me to be careful, but I won't stand by. Not for this.
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He won't harm me, [ Dorian says, with a hundred percent certainty. ] But if he does, I will tell you.
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Jon has warned him enough times about how Elias gets into people's heads. There's no reason why Dorian wouldn't be affected by that. ]
Show me what he looks like. [ He shifts closer, watching him, ] Jon has never had a picture.
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Huh. I could have sworn I had a picture of him. [ And yet, he can't seem to find one in his phone. ] He's blonde? Tall, looks remarkably like a bureaucrat. He's got one of those voices that when you first hear it, a part of you wants to instinctively punch the man.
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Tall, blond. That describes a good proportion of people here. He likes to make this difficult.
[ He looks at Dorian. ]
But you are with him, yes? If you are contracted, you must be living with him.
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[ watch as he dodges the question. ]
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That was hardly normal, and that was...Jon. [ No offence, Jon. ]
Are you saying you are not living with him?
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Most do. Not every Dominant could afford a second place for a submissive, and most submissives wish to leave the Down. Dominic never lived with us...but he did not truly belong to Ignacio. More often they live together. This is surprising?
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I thought you might be aiming to deflect more questions about Elias, in fact.
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I don't want to fight with you.
[ Not about Elias, or anything else.
He's never even personally had a problem with the man. His worries are all Jon's, and Jon won't let him do anything about it.
Rafa leans back, rubbing his temple. ]
I do care about you, you know. That is all this is.
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I do trust you. I hope you're right.
[ He leans in to kiss Dorian's cheek. ]
I won't interfere. [ Then a pause. ] Has he bitten you?
un: sherekhan
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I may be in the process of figuring out how to get him a citation, and possibly destroy his life.
You don't really throw a wrench in things, since you can sleep with whoever you want, but I might ask you for some intel.
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Tell me what you want on him and I'll get it.
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Can you find out if he has any secrets? Things he’s keeping close. Or if he’s doing anything illegal on the side. He might just be a malicious gossip, but I’m willing to stretch it.
He doesn’t know you’re my submissive, I don’t think. Don’t tell him.
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And don't worry. I'll keep this our little secret.
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Do well and I’ll let you…hm.
What will I let you do?
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A secret of yours. And nothing small, like how you can't stand a certain food. I want something that if it got out, it would negatively impact you. Something that you haven't told anyone.
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There's a long, easy pause.]
Well, you know my biggest secret.
[Which means he should get something smaller.]
But okay. Sure. You accomplish it, I'll tell you a secret. Something bigger than my actual name.
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I want him to feel real pain.
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Thank you, Dorian.
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un: thearchivist; text; post-Camp Harmony
I shouldn't have spoken to you like I did at that camp.
You were right and you didn't deserve it.
Sorry.
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Is it really so fucking hard to believe that I have your best interests at heart?
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When I'm not thinking straight because of paranoia?
Yes.
I was lashing out at everyone, not just you, if it's any consolation.
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But I suppose I'll have to accept that.
Was that paranoia due to a lack of Eye contact, or is it a fun new trait that you've developed when I was gone?
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But the loss of the Eye hit me in a particularly bad way.
They're easier to keep under control when I can Know things.
Or when I know I can compel someone to answer my questions honestly.
I'm not... right, yet.
Better, but going that long cut off, without feeding, isn't healthy for me.
I expect Elias is in much the same way, even if he handles it better.
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It's not like I can just make myself not be paranoid.
I'll try to remember to avoid you if I get like that again.
I owe you a date, if you still want it.
I thought we could do a bit of a ghost tour around the city.
End with a picnic at the edge of the forest.
Bottle of wine.
See if any headless men in carriage come round to murder us.
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And I'm serious about that. I've been ghost hunting before, might as well do it again.
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I thought you might enjoy it.
[He feels bad enough about camp that he is trying.]
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[ there's a solid minute pause before Dorian sends, ]
It's cute that you care about me.
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Nothing about me is cute.
I'm going to buy bad wine if you insinuate otherwise again.
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1. your dogged determination (but only when it doesn't inconvenience me)
2. the way you blush when I call you cute
3. you can get a little sheepish when you think nobody's looking
4. that thing you do with your hair
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What thing?
I don't do anything with my hair.
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That thing.
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Everyone does that.
[Right?]
I don't do that.
[Maybe he needs to cut his hair. Something more professional like Peter has. Or clips. He can put clips in his hair.]
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[ Dorian is going to just feel inwardly smug the moment he sees Jon with those clips. Yeah, for all that 'I don't like you,' he can tell you at least listen to him and consider what he's talking about buddy ]
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I got my ears pierced.
That's 'metal.'
[Or so he's been assured. Dorian may or may not have noticed them at camp with Jon's hair all over the place. They're little book-shaped gold studs.]
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Plenty of men get their ears pierced these days.
That's nothing special.
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I've got other things pierced, as well.
Wouldn't you like to know what?
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[Yes, yes he is going to insinuate an intimate piercing. Suburban housewife... tch!]
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We've had that kind of date before.
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We haven't had a 'date,' at all, unless you count me getting drunk on your couch as date-worthy.
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And I believe customs dictate you wouldn't be getting even a kiss until the third date.
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Which is why sex isn't happening.
I have two boyfriends.
I'm not in the market for anything additional.
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I'm fine letting things not be exclusive.
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Yes.
That's fine.
I'm certain you must be aware I'm inexperienced, and you're not missing much when it comes to other benefits.
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[ Okay so how does he put this... ]
so you
you're pretty experienced, right?
i mean with like. sex stuff.
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[ wait, that's not an answer ]
Yes, I'm pretty experienced with sex stuff.
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okay! okay that's good. that's great, actually.
i'm a seventeen year old who had sex for the first time when i got here four months ago, and i have no idea what i'm doing
and the thing is my girlfriend is actually pretty kinky, it turns out, and right now she thinks i'm cute but i really don't want that to turn into boring
can you help me?
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Of course I can.
So, what do you want? Do you want to discover your own kinks, do you want to learn how to work well with hers, or do you want suggestions that the two of you might like?
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she likes to be dominated, and i think she likes it kind of rough? and i don't really know how to take charge like that
and she'd teach me, i know she would, but if she has to teach me then she's still in charge and that's not what i'm going for, you know?
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Okay let's go from the top. The first thing to know about taking charge is to give someone what they want, but make it so that you're the one giving it to them. For instance, if your girl likes restraints, make her stand still while you tie her up. Or if she likes PIV, tell her that she's the one who's going to lube you up before anything happens.
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i think i get that. what's piv, though?
i'm sorry if that's a dumb question
audio: un; preserves
I--I know you know a great deal about. Sex. You also know that I don't.
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I assume you want some questions answered? Or perhaps lessons.
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...both, if possible?
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she manages to stutter out a yes, then goes to get dressed. then she spends about half an hour standing at the door, telling herself she'll be fine going out, she doesn't need an escort,
yes, she does, but she finally manages to force herself out.she never goes out anymore unless Duplicity forces her to. she wishes Merricat would arrive more and more every day.
but, finally she arrives and manages to squeak out Dorian's name and is led up to his room. when she arrives, she knocks hesitantly] Hello?