[ He pauses then and realizes that while Dorian is perfectly aware of what he's doing, Henry almost certainly isn't. Which is why he quietly explains- ]
I realize that, Henry. This is just... how I express my concerns: trying to bother you into being more careful because people have failed to come back after a port and no one knows what happens to those who leave the boat without graduating and in fact it's possible they go into the Void and disappear forever so...
[ He swallows and spreads his hands. ]
You don't have to defend yourself, I don't- I don't actually think either of you are inept. I was just concerned.
Our dear Jon is what we call a worrywart, [ Dorian points out. He's still trying to keep the tone light, still trying to seem nonchalant about the matter...though he does dial the smartass down for a moment or two. He'll turn his face towards Jon as he points out, ]
He doesn't need to worry, though. Jon knows me. I wouldn't let you get left behind.
[The explanation is appreciated. He's so unused to this sort of companionship and friendship. Seeing the two of them interact is like listening to some radio play. It doesn't seem real that two people talk to each other like this.]
It's not a comment on your competence, Henry, it's just... caring what happens to you, that's all.
[ He glances over at Dorian. ]
I know you wouldn't, Dorian, [ because he has never really bought Dorian's 'I don't care' act since the first statement he took, he could feel how much of a lie it was. ] which is why the two of you would be literally out to sea together.
[ Jon's eyes flicker to that walking beat... and he does his best to settle himself and not think about it too hard. It's the kind of thing he needs to keep a watch over but paranoia won't help anything. ]
It's easier for me to see you than not. Most of the time, my efforts are at keeping my eyes closed.
[ A small huff. ]
For all my... displeasure, it was a good idea. And you shouldn't hesitate if you're in a bad situation in the future and your communicator is out of reach.
The Ceaseless Watcher does literally see all, [ Dorian muses. ] And also apparently knows how to pilot a boat? Can I steal you for assistance when Henry and I borrow a yacht at some point?
Bournemouth? [ Dorian frowns, ignoring Henry's protests about not going on the yacht. They're getting a yacht at some point, stop saying otherwise. ] Well, nobody's perfect I suppose. If we're going with seaside holiday spots, I always preferred Brighton.
[Well, they have completely ventured into territory that he knows nothing about and is, quite frankly, not that interested in. He tunes them out, letting them talk while he stares at the ground and the bridges under his feet.]
Of courseyou'd prefer Brighton, [ that comes with a small eyeroll] but I can hardly choose where I was born. Certainly not where I was raised. The point is, there's nothing supernatural about my ability to drive a boat.
Of course I'd prefer Brighton, I have taste. Here, Henry, [ Dorian says, forcibly yanking the man back into the conversation. ] We'll go on a little Enclosure field trip later. Which would you rather go to, a place with a few churches and a hideous IMAX theater or a beach town so lovely that George IV himself spent quite a lot of time there?
[Not only does he have no idea what IMAX is, both places sound absolutely mind-numbingly dull. Despite that, his answer comes out a lot sharper than he anticipated.]
Neither.
[Even Henry recognizes that it was a bit too much, so he scales it back, chalking up his mood to exhaustion.]
But if you force me to choose, I would choose the quieter of the two.
Ha! [ He's not going to harp on it; given how much and how many times Jon tried to escape the place, it's less about any true love for his hometown and much more about needling Dorian a little.
[ Dorian pretends not to hear that murmur as he points out, ]
Obviously that means our first trip will be to Brighton so I can prove you wrong. It'll be in the off-season, of course. There won't be that many people.
[ Jon is watching him a little more carefully after that before- ]
The Enclosure is a space on board where you can program it to go just about anywhere. I don't use it much myself, but many people on board find it very helpful to combat feeling, well... trapped.
Whereas I probably use it more often than others, [ he shrugs. ] I don't like being stuck on a ship like this, crammed in tight with the same bloody people that I see every bloody day. Back home, I'd spend months traveling. So when I feel the urge to kill one of my coworkers, I go over to the Enclosure, set it to some place I've never been, and explore.
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That's not a threat for me.
[ It's a little bit of a threat! But Dorian doesn't want to actually say what the threat is. He's fine! He's cool! Don't bother him! ]
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[Is that a challenge? Almost. Is he being defiant for the sake of being defiant? Absolutely.
Back on dry land, he leans heavily against Dorian, though managing to keep his feet underneath him.]
We would have been rescued either way. The Admiral wouldn't simply leave a prisoner behind.
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Oh, do not challenge me, the both of you.
[ He shakes his head, though, and he'll take up a spot on the other side of Henry. ]
Yes, and more than likely, you'd have had to face a death toll for it. Which is more trouble than it's worth.
Let's get you both back to the Barge and you can tell me all about how clever and not at all stupid this whole thing was.
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I will happily chat about how clever I am—and how I would never die in the first place. Shall we?
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It wasn't meant to be clever or stupid. This wasn't an sort of grand scheme.
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I realize that, Henry. This is just... how I express my concerns: trying to bother you into being more careful because people have failed to come back after a port and no one knows what happens to those who leave the boat without graduating and in fact it's possible they go into the Void and disappear forever so...
[ He swallows and spreads his hands. ]
You don't have to defend yourself, I don't- I don't actually think either of you are inept. I was just concerned.
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He doesn't need to worry, though. Jon knows me. I wouldn't let you get left behind.
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Oh.
I don't - need anyone to take care of me.
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[ He glances over at Dorian. ]
I know you wouldn't, Dorian, [ because he has never really bought Dorian's 'I don't care' act since the first statement he took, he could feel how much of a lie it was. ] which is why the two of you would be literally out to sea together.
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[ No comment on that 'I don't need anyone to take care of me' because in Dorian's mind, that's bull. ]
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Caring what happens to him. It's an odd concept. He doesn't quite believe it.]
It was the only other option we had. I thought it would be easy enough, if you could see me.
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It's easier for me to see you than not. Most of the time, my efforts are at keeping my eyes closed.
[ A small huff. ]
For all my... displeasure, it was a good idea. And you shouldn't hesitate if you're in a bad situation in the future and your communicator is out of reach.
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Not together.
[Can't they see that all he wants to fo is go back to his room with his spiders and read?
Is that too much to ask?]
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I was born and raised in Bournemouth, Dorian. The Ceaseless Watcher had much less to do with it than several part time jobs.
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Neither.
[Even Henry recognizes that it was a bit too much, so he scales it back, chalking up his mood to exhaustion.]
But if you force me to choose, I would choose the quieter of the two.
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He'll take pity on poor Henry. ]
We're almost back, Henry.
[ He'll lean in a little and murmur quietly- ]
Shall I try to distract Dorian?
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Obviously that means our first trip will be to Brighton so I can prove you wrong. It'll be in the off-season, of course. There won't be that many people.
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What is the Enclosure?
[It sounds - a little like where you might put animals.]
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The Enclosure is a space on board where you can program it to go just about anywhere. I don't use it much myself, but many people on board find it very helpful to combat feeling, well... trapped.
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NSFW moving forward
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cw suicidal ideation mention
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